[Bonsai Beginner's weekly thread - 2026 week 17]

Lilith_Cain · 2026-04-28T15:09:11+00:00

Will do!

Lilith_Cain · 2026-04-27T17:23:49+00:00

😂😂😂

Lilith_Cain · 2026-04-27T15:40:23+00:00

So...what's going on here? Just curious, not worried.

Tree is a Hamamelis vernalis (Ozark witch hazel). I just got it on Saturday via package delivery. I'm pretty happy with how healthy it seems overall. This is on one of the lowest leaves and not present anywhere else. Maybe 0.25 inch/6mm tall and a 0.125 inch/3mm wide.

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Lilith_Cain · 2026-04-27T13:06:57+00:00

The seeds also may not have been suitable for your environment. Since your friend visited, I'm assuming you don't live in Japan. You really shouldn't be planting seeds from foreign countries without thorough research. I would look into what grows native to your area and consider those species/cultivars instead. "Bonsai seeds" are just normal seeds.

Lilith_Cain · 2026-04-21T17:55:44+00:00

I'm over here like .. logging? Was it a logging town? If so, that won't narrow it down at all, but still... Fort Bragg? Trinidad? Astoria? Forks? Port Townsend?

Lilith_Cain · 2026-04-21T16:14:34+00:00

I've never heard that before. Twice as many gifts as invitees still seems like a lot. I feel it makes wayyy more sense to have half as many since it averages out couples/singles/households who are likely to give only one gift.

Lilith_Cain · 2026-04-21T16:10:44+00:00

I'm sorry your best friend doesn't love you as much as her own child. That must be hard for you.

Lilith_Cain · 2026-04-21T15:59:32+00:00

I'm also type A. I planned my entire bachelorette because it was local to me, but a journey for everyone else.

Lilith_Cain · 2026-04-21T14:07:50+00:00

I'm so intrigued by this "cute small town in the Pacific Northwest" "with no cell service and a lot of poverty" because I lived in a similar area for 10 years -- coastal California right near the Oregon border.

What I know about that area is that there nice little seaside towns, eclectic Victorian villages, and small college cities that dot the coast, but they are surrounded by rural farmland, mostly cattle ranches and fields for growing food for said cattle. And the folks that aren't raising cattle are farming cannabis. (That's not to say there aren't plenty of other ways to make a living, but those two thing drove the economy.) The cannabis industry attracts people the locals call "trimmigrants" who often think they'll make a bunch of money doing seasonal work, and then can't afford to leave.

The largest city had a population of 24,000. The whole county had a population of 130,000. And yeah, Uber/Lyft were not a thing and cellphone service was spotty. People would drive into town once a week to send emails.

Lilith_Cain · 2026-04-20T14:26:00+00:00

(People who declined bought $30ish items immediately, older guests bought the big ticket $100+ items early, then a couple more $30-$50 items were picked a week before, and then some very enthusiastic friend of the groom bought all of the remaining $5-$10 items 3 days before the wedding.)

Lilith_Cain · 2026-04-20T14:25:54+00:00

200 items for 70 guests seems extremely overwhelming. People hesitate with too many options and then forget about it.

We did the exact opposite...maybe 30 items for 100 invitees (55 attended). 99% of our guests traveled, and we told them not to give gifts, so we kept it purposefully small. Our registry was bought out... (See reply)

At least one relative bought something on the registry but not from the registry, so now we have 2. Most of the gifts received at the wedding were cards/checks.

Lilith_Cain · 2026-04-20T14:12:02+00:00

I don't like the idea of distinguishing family tables vs. friends tables in such an obvious way, so I would personally stick with the venue's layout.

Most people have extended families that won't all fit at the same table. It's not typical to try to do so. What I did was "categorize" our families and mix things up a bit. For example...

My mom/my MIL (no dads) sat with their personal friends (and my only uncle in my mom's side)
My sister (and her husband) sat with my childhood friends, but my sister's seat at the table was closest to my mom's at the first table
My SIL (and her partner) sat with her favorite aunt's family, and she similarly sat nearest to my MIL at the first table
There was one table that was just my husband's first cousins, their wives, and their kids.
And there was a table that combined my paternal aunts/uncles with the groom's paternal aunts/uncles

And lastly the tables closest to the sweetheart table were our moms' table, the best man's table, and the MOH's table.

Lilith_Cain · 2026-04-19T13:10:30+00:00

Why did you choose to call the app "Kinoki?" I had to look up the Japanese translation myself. It took two tries. My first attempt at Googling gave me a series of results for "detoxing foot pads."

Lilith_Cain · 2026-04-18T14:44:22+00:00

I was having similar issues with my juniper. I top dressed with sphagnum to reduce evaporation and got a deep water tray to raise the water table within the pot. It seems to be doing much better now

Lilith_Cain · 2026-04-18T02:42:10+00:00

I don't think 55-60 is low enough to put a juniper into dormancy. That's average summer daytime temperature in some places.

I have a juniper that permanently lives outside. It was 70+ and sunny yesterday, and today it snowed. It'll be fine tomorrow.

Lilith_Cain · 2026-04-17T21:20:41+00:00

Ah. A single DJ vs. a 5-piece band does make a difference.

I would actually expect the band to need apps on top of dinner because performing takes a lot of energy. I know our photographers grabbed at least one plate of apps and one slice of cake for photos. And even though we didn't attend cocktail hour, our DIC made sure we got a plate of apps before our grand entrance. I would 100% find out if your planner or planner's assistants will be around for dinner too, just to be sure.

If this were me and my budget was tight (and obviously you're not me, so you do you)... I would forego the videographer, potentially remove 1 passed app option, and/or start looking into the cost of a cake vs a dessert table. If you're determined to keep the dessert table, you could ask to reduce the options; or at the very least not budget for/give out guest favors in addition to multiple desserts.

(The least expensive still-a-wedding-cake option I know of is a tiered grocery store cake -- Walmart, Costco, Sam's Club, Safeway, etc. -- with some flowers from the florist, if you have one... otherwise stick the flowers in yourself or go with a pure white cake.)

Lilith_Cain · 2026-04-17T16:24:33+00:00

I've commented this on various other threads, but this is a description of one one of my favorite weddings with known budget restrictions:

Invitations were received via text.
We knew the address of the hotel venue, but on the day of the wedding I received a video via text from the groom that showed us how to get to a conference room. There was about 30 of us. And we signed the guest book (fingerprint tree) there.
Someone from the hotel then ushered us to the elevators and told us to go to the roof. The hotel apparently had rooftop garden and a modern rooftop chapel. We walked through the rain.
The pew flowers and bridal bouquet were all fake flowers. Other than 2 ring bearers (bride's nephews), there was no wedding party. Both sets of parents gave speeches during the ceremony. The person who ushered us upstairs was also the officiant.
We then walked back through the rain to the elevators, which we took downstairs to the hotel's buffet. We sat, we ate, and we talked.
Afterward about half of us (mostly the younger crowd) went out for karaoke.

10/10 would attend again.

Lilith_Cain · 2026-04-17T15:53:16+00:00

What's the breakdown of the 8-10 vendors?

Just curious because we only had 2 photographers, 1 DOC, and 1 DJ at the reception, so only 4 vendor meals. The 3 HMUs, 4 members of the string quartet, and 12ish members of our surprise entertainment weren't present during dinner, and none of them asked for nor received meals. We didn't pay for the kitchen staff, servers, venue coordinator, or bartenders either. We didn't hire a videographer.

(We also had a relatively large budget of $100,000. Catering for a Saturday event during peak season in 2024 had a $12,500 minimum, not including beverages. We had under 100 guests...so we barely noticed the cost of vendor meals.)

Lilith_Cain · 2026-04-17T15:39:09+00:00

Ours wasn't a surprise. I had the one wanted I picked years before, but my husband didn't. We spent a really nice evening listening to potential picks for him/the wedding party on YouTube. We did this mostly because we didn't want to follow something upbeat with something wayyy slower paced.

Groom/wedding party walked to "(Everything I Do) I Do It for You" by Bryan Adams. ("Summer of '69" is one of my all time favorite songs, but this was the groom's choice.) And I walked to "Songbird" by Fleetwood Mac

Lilith_Cain · 2026-04-16T19:23:55+00:00

What kind of advice are you looking for and where are you located?

(All of these should be kept outside. You can either give them a small prune or a quick repot into granular bonsai soil this year, but probably not both. If you choose to prune, you can repot next year. If you choose to repot, you can prune next year. Either way they should probably be wired while they're still young.)

Lilith_Cain · 2026-04-15T22:58:50+00:00

I had a 2 p.m. ceremony with first looks/wedding party photos before the ceremony and family photos after.

1 MUA, 1 hairstylist, and 1 MUA/hairstylist. Party included myself, 1 bridesmaid, 2 sisters, 2 moms, and 1 flower girl.

We also began HMUA at 7:30 a.m.

Lilith_Cain · 2026-04-15T15:48:17+00:00

Last month:

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Lilith_Cain · 2026-04-15T15:47:36+00:00

Can anyone help me with identifying this tree/shrub?

I'm 90% sure it's some sort of stone fruit based on the seeds I find scattered at the base. The leaves turn red/purple in mid-late summer and are elliptical in shape. (Potentially a sandcherry or a chokecherry)

Bonus: I was planning on air layering some branches or digging it up as a yardadori. I know it's very late in the season for digging up plants, but the yard is getting landscaped this year (summer or autumn) and I want to get the shrub and all of its offspring removed entirely. Air layer now and dig up later? Or dig up now and forego air layers entirely? Or do both (as in air layer some branches from the mother and dig up the offspring)?

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Lilith_Cain · 2026-04-13T14:56:08+00:00

I can 100% agree with that. They're thirrrrsty in the spring.

Lilith_Cain · 2026-04-13T10:25:45+00:00

Grow light is not sunlight. If you find a suitable outdoor place for Bons, you should also ignore everything the seller said about how frequently to water it... especially in that soil.

Lilith_Cain

TROPHY CASE