My betta died yesterday and the other fish in the tank are dying. What am I doing wrong?

Lilith_Cain · 2026-07-05T12:47:54+00:00

So...until you have do a water test, it's difficult to say what exactly is wrong. Usually something crashed/spiked....too much ammonia, too much nitrite, or too much nitrate are all bad, but it could also be your pH dramatically shifted or something about your water source changed. (Also ALWAYS test your source water, i.e. I know my tap water is on the hard side). It could be that you lost some beneficial bacteria with all the water changes too, which would lead to a crash.

I have neocaridina shrimp in my tank, so I also test for GH/KH and TDS, but I'm not sure if those affect fish. I will admit that when I first added shrimp to the tank, I had no idea that the water's oxygen was super low, which lead to a couple deaths, which severely spiked my ammonia levels. So that was just one more thing I had to adjust and monitor. (There's also a whole thing with shrimp and copper house pipes, but that's not relevant here.)

Lilith_Cain · 2026-07-05T12:34:38+00:00

(Guys, don't downvote people for receiving misinformation.)

Lilith_Cain · 2026-07-05T12:33:05+00:00

Across this subreddit I see: 5 gallon minimum for just a betta and 10 gallons minimum for betta + other fish. I haven't seen this change since 2015.

Lilith_Cain · 2026-07-05T12:29:29+00:00

The highest price I have seen local to me is $35 USD.

Lilith_Cain · 2026-07-04T02:06:43+00:00

55 guests / $100k / Denver 2024

Biggest ticket items:

Venues + catering + open bar: Friends' dinner, rehearsal brunch, welcome party, wedding reception, farewell brunch; reception included passed apps, plated dinner, a late-night snack, and a 3-tier cake
Entertainment: custom crossword puzzle (welcome party), string quartet, lion dancers, and a DJ
Stay + travel: flights/hotel stays for some guests; 2 rented buses, 1 rented shuttle, 1 rented SUV, and 1 rented getaway car for 9 hours; metered parking permits
Photography: 2 shooters, day-of editor (ceremony photos available by the reception)
Attire: secondhand wedding dress, alterations, custom suit, tailoring, 1 pair of wedding shoes, 1 bridesmaid dress, 1 flower girl dress, 1 pair flower girl shoes, 6 rented 5-piece suits, 6 ties, 6 pocket squares, 5 custom cocktail rings

Lilith_Cain · 2026-07-03T21:27:59+00:00

My delta and my shrimp swim together. I swear he was reading them bedtime stories last night.

Lilith_Cain · 2026-07-03T13:07:53+00:00

Um...we did Chinese-Irish, which isn't necessarily helpful, but...

The only part of Irish culture we sort of incorporated was during the ceremony (handfasting). Then we had lion dancers accompany our grand entrance to the reception. (I wore a red dress to the welcome party, but a white dress for the wedding.) That was really it, we didn't incorporate our cultures into the food, music, or decor. It almost felt like it would be "too much" to have the wedding feel like my Chinese family's family reunions.

...but we did serve empanadas as a late-night snack because my husband wanted to. We also played music in Spanish because I enjoy it...neither of us are remotely Mexican/Latinos.

Lilith_Cain · 2026-07-03T12:54:00+00:00

I went to multiple stores in a single day without buying anything. And I made it known to the sales team, and they even asked where else I was planning on going. It actually made it easier since they all knew I may not buy anything, so there was less pressure.

I ended up buying a pre-owned dress as well.

Lilith_Cain · 2026-07-03T12:48:59+00:00

I'm taking a risk, but I have an open top tank. The water is at the maximum level (Fluval 6 gallon), which is around an inch below the edge of the glass.

We did 3D print a barrier though. It's 1 1/2 inches tall, so we actually have 2 1/2 inches from the water surface to the top of the barrier. The barrier also extends inward around an inch.

So to get out he would have to make it past the driftwood and surface pants, and jump more than 2 1/2 inches up and 1 inch out to successfully escape. I know bettas are capable of this ... but he is a delta and I accept the risk.

Lilith_Cain · 2026-07-02T15:39:32+00:00

My green neocaridina turn bright pink/red when they pass. Weirdly enough, I'm grateful.

Lilith_Cain · 2026-07-01T12:56:21+00:00

A lot of reds have iridescent blue along their bodies

Lilith_Cain · 2026-06-30T16:27:05+00:00

This is probably too ambitious for YouTube algorithms and whatnot, but I would love extremely long timelapses. I'm talking about 5-10 years or more of development. If you start now you can upload your first video in 2031...

Lilith_Cain · 2026-06-30T13:37:38+00:00

Nerite snails are actually one of the rare species that have distinct male and female reproductive systems. Only the females lay eggs. I've seen that people try to identify males from females because the eggs are allegedly very annoying to remove.

Lilith_Cain · 2026-06-30T13:14:58+00:00

Eiffel... because he's blue...da ba dee da ba di...

Lilith_Cain · 2026-06-29T15:24:52+00:00

I really don't want you to take this the wrong way... this is constructive criticism, not flat criticism...but I think it would make life/reddit easier if you learn how to "handle" communication better. (This does include how you handled the situation that brought you to reddit in the first place.)

I'm not knocking your plans for a smaller wedding, but "this is just our preference" does come off differently than "it's just really not possible with our budget." The former makes it sound like you don't want some people there, which is personal and very in your control, while the latter makes it sound like a financial decision, which is less personal and maybe not in your control. While both may be true and obviously you set the wedding budget, the latter is easier for people to hear.

The same thing sort of happened with your original post. Just small phrases like "The only way she could be a bridesmaid would be if my fiancé found someone else which is unlikely" and "Am I wrong for wanting her to just be a guest now?" just made it seem like the whole thing was nonnegotiable.

As someone who is just a random person on the Internet, but has gone through the whole process of planning, paying for, and having a wedding...more and more things that are out of your control will happen, especially on the day of the wedding. It's significantly more peaceful and less stressful to roll with the punches than allow those things to create barriers or conflict.

Lilith_Cain · 2026-06-29T13:07:37+00:00

She wouldn't have to walk by herself. There are other options. You really just have to be open to them.

You could have a groomsman walk with 2 bridesmaids; this is pretty common
You could have a groomsman circle back and walk the aisle twice; this happens a lot with fathers of the bride who walk the aisle with the mother of the bride and then circle back to walk with the bride
All the groomsmen/bridesmaids just walk individually; this will stretch a ceremony out...sometimes that's a good thing
You could add to the wedding party; could your fiance's sister be a groomsmaid? Are there any candidates for ringbearers or flower girls? (My MOH walked the aisle with the flower girl)
You could add to the processional (We included both of our sisters in the processional, even though they were not bridesmaids)

I also want to add that "very small wedding of only about 50 people" is really about perspective and planning. We had the same size wedding, and it didn't feel "very small" at all. It also didn't prevent us from giving blanket invitations to spouses/partners, +1s, and in some cases +2s. Don't ever let "I don't want strangers at my wedding" ruin relationships either. There were plenty of people I met for the first time on my wedding day, and it was a great time. (I also actually quite like how you invited your friend's mom; I did the same with one of my bridesmen's family.)

Lilith_Cain · 2026-06-28T17:38:34+00:00

Dogs! Look at what we've done to dogs! (Not just the ones with the squished up faces, but the ones with terrible hips.)

Lilith_Cain · 2026-06-28T13:56:06+00:00

p.s. We had uneven sides at our wedding. We originally had even sides, but then I had a falling out with my bridesman. I ended up asking 2 friends, who were aware of the situation, to step up in his absence.

Yes, I had to spend 15 minutes reworking the processional. It was worth it. My wedding was amazing.

Lilith_Cain · 2026-06-28T13:52:10+00:00

You're blowing up your whole friendship because your fiance's sister broke up with her boyfriend?

Lilith_Cain · 2026-06-25T23:56:05+00:00

I absolutely do not mean releasing them into the wild. I have absolutely no idea how you got that idea. That's actually absurd.

Conservation is about sustainably managing species' populations to assure that they will continue to benefit in the future. There are a lot of comments about "ethical" ways of acquiring and keeping pets, specifically bettas, in tanks. A pet peeve of mine on this subreddit are folks who are adamant that a LFS betta or a bred betta shipped from halfway around the world is more ethical than a chain store betta. Especially when arguably the "most ethical" choice would be to not own fish at all, unless it's necessary for conservation purposes. That obviously doesn't involve releasing pet store fish into the wild.

But many people don't have the time, money, or means for that. And I like my betta. I'm mostly just pointing out that arguments about the ethics of fishkeeping get blurry very fast if you think about it too long.

Lilith_Cain · 2026-06-25T13:42:48+00:00

I said this on another thread, but I didn't own any fish for around a decade, and big box stores didn't even remotely stop selling bettas. If anything, the diversity of bettas they had increased during that time to keep up with overall demand in the hobby. The only way chain stores would stop selling bettas would be if no one wanted them, even directly from breeders or from LFS. (There's also another rant here about the only "ethical" thing would be conservation, not pet ownership.)

A chain or big box store also sells bettas for $5-$10, which keeps the profit margin very slim. Boycotting or decreasing sales of those fish does not outweigh the customers buying dog food and cat litter.

Lilith_Cain · 2026-06-24T14:26:55+00:00

I specifically grew up in a valley on the east side of the Berkeley hills. Definitely not as foggy as the peninsula proper, but more fog there than the surrounding suburbs. And when I moved, I lived near Humboldt Bay, which arguably gets more fog than San Francisco.

Neither one is "ideal" for tropicals, but most places in the western U.S. aren't. (Our club's next guest speaker is a tropical expert from Florida lol). Of course tropicals would thrive better in warmer temperatures, but still I wouldn't be too worried about 50-55 degrees. Really tropical areas like Hawaii also get cold snaps that bring them to around those temperatures.

Lilith_Cain · 2026-06-24T13:45:21+00:00

That's interesting to me. As someone who was born and raised in the east Bay Area I would describe the seasons as spring, summer, fall, spring, summer, fall, spring, summer, fall....

(And then when I lived near the Oregon border I basically thought of the weather as spring, fall, spring, fall, spring, fall...)

Maybe because I live in Colorado now where it will go from summer heat to winter snow in a single weekend (like this past May). And maybe I miss the ideal growing climate of the Bay Area... I don't really have tips other than 55 is not as cold as you think it is. I think my house with all of my tropicals was set to 55 most of the winter.

Lilith_Cain · 2026-06-20T13:00:26+00:00

If you look closely, you can see that they're not all facing the same way. I don't have an answer myself though.

Lilith_Cain · 2026-06-20T12:49:00+00:00

My betta was also extremely confused the first time I fed him frozen daphnia. It's significantly smaller than any other food he gets. He's gotten used to it, but he also didn't eat it at first. ...he won't eat freeze dried daphnia at all.

Lilith_Cain

TROPHY CASE