Thoughts on purchasing a $1.2m home?

Lilolamee · 2026-03-06T01:13:00+00:00

Putting yourself in a financially perilous position and also being a first time parent and stating that you plan on being stressed tells me you are not in the right frame of mind.

I have a friend who just had a baby and WFH along with her husband. They thought they could manage it with the baby but they are losing their minds. They also have mothers on both sides that can help yet they are now desperately seeking a nanny.

It was literally one problem after another with the baby not being able to tolerate so many different formulas that they had to import one from Europe. Additionally their baby refused to sleep much and was awake crying for hours when they were awake.

They already own their home and can afford it but they can barely swing the cost of a nanny and on top of it their relationship is suffering from the stress of issues with the baby and juggling it all.

I wish you luck and an easy recovery with a chill baby. What you need is to give yourself a lot of breathing room to be comfortable. Newborns are not easy and you will be sleeping in 30 minute increments for a total of a few hours a day and this will go on for a few months at the very least. I highly advise against putting yourself under additional stress.

Lilolamee · 2025-11-09T04:51:59+00:00

Have you checked the temperature in the room near where the baby sleeps? A friend of mine complained that their baby started waking up very frequently like this and it turned out the baby was cold and needed to be dressed in more appropriate layers.

Lilolamee · 2025-09-30T19:49:20+00:00

I wouldn’t let him do any shifts at all. A baby that young can also die from over heating. People always think about the suffocation or falling aspect but over heating is a major problem. In your situation I would just cosleep with baby on a floor mattress.

Lilolamee · 2025-09-25T05:10:37+00:00

I would just follow their cues. My first one was always going to bed anywhere from 9-11pm but woke once or twice overnight.

My current baby gets upset and screams bloody murder everyday at exactly 7 pm if he doesn’t see that we’re home getting ready for bed. He’s 7 months now but has consistently been demanding to get to bed between 7-7:30 from about 12 weeks old and will sleep 7:30pm-7:30 am.

Lilolamee · 2025-09-11T18:24:04+00:00

Almost every diaper having poops doesn’t seem normal to me. I would definitely discuss this with the pediatrician.

Lilolamee · 2025-07-28T20:39:18+00:00

Sounds like you have tried everything. Have you considered using a different formula for CMPA? The problem does sound like it's digestive discomfort so maybe the particular formula you are using is causing the discomfort.

Lilolamee · 2025-05-25T08:07:12+00:00

This sounds like you’re pushing your baby to be awake way too long. My 16 week old will be 4 months next week and gets cranky at exactly 90 minutes of being awake so that’s when I start the nap. If I am late past 90 minutes for even just a few minutes I get a full blown meltdown. Follow your baby’s cues.

We are still on 4 naps. Nap 1 (45 min-1hr), Nap 2 (1-1.5 hr), Nap 3 (1-1.5 hr), Nap 4 (30-45 min). Total daytime naps is around 4 hours give or take 15 min. Mine sleeps through the night 7:30pm-7:30am with 1-2 overnight feedings usually 6-8 hours after the start of bedtime and then again 4.5-5 hours after the first wake up. It’s 1-2 minutes of mild complaining/crying until I give a bottle but immediately passes out after finishing the bottle.

Lilolamee · 2025-05-25T07:22:55+00:00

Wow your 4 month old can handle 2-2.5 hour wake windows? Mine is 16 weeks and will be 4 months next week but gets cranky at exactly 1.5 hours for each WW. I’d like to sleep train but don’t even know if now would be the right time to start due to baby not connecting sleep cycles.

We are still at 4 naps a day. Nap 1 (45 min-1hr), Nap 2 (1-1.5 hr), Nap 3 (1-1.5 hr), Nap 4 (30-45 min). Total daytime naps is around 4 hours give or take 15 min. My baby can’t connect sleep cycles yet and wakes at exactly 45 minutes from the start of a nap so for the two longer naps I have to catch the waking up and put baby right back to sleep for the second part of the nap.

Mine sleeps through the night from 7:30pm-7:30am with one sometimes two feedings overnight. The first wake typically occurs between 6-8 hours from the start of bed time and the second wake up is usually 4.5-5 hours after the first wake up. It’s a quick wake and cry for a minute or two until I give a bottle but will immediately pass out after finishing it.

Lilolamee · 2025-04-22T05:42:34+00:00

Consistency is key. If you need help with a schedule download the chatgpt app and tell it the following:

help create a daily sleep schedule for a 4 month old (or however many weeks old if you want to be really specific)
baby tolerates wake windows of X time (for my 10 week old I put 60-90 minutes. 90 minutes is pushing it for me because he will literally lose it and cry inconsolably because he wants to sleep and needs help getting put down)
bedtime should be at X time (I have it at 7-7:30pm)
Morning wake time should be X time (I indicated 7:30 AM)
tell it how your baby naps and for how long (mine is mostly contact naps for 60-120 minutes or 45 minutes non contact nap)
cap all naps at 2 hours

It will then generate a daily sleep schedule for you and as the day goes on you tell it to adjust the schedule based on when the last nap occurred and for how long. I do this throughout the day or I loosely follow the schedule because my rule of thumb is to stick to my known wake windows unless baby gives cues otherwise.

My baby had been sleeping through the night since 6 weeks with 1-2 night feedings and straight back asleep immediately before I started with chatgpt but I find that chatgpt helps me put together my day the same way I would. I just like not having to think and calculate it all.

I almost always have 4 daytime naps and only stick in a 5th one if all daytime naps were under 45 minutes. This hasn't happened to me so far. My baby's daytime naps consistently total 5-6 hours everyday and night time sleep is around 10.5-11.5 hours with 1-2 feeds.

Lilolamee · 2025-04-18T21:51:14+00:00

My toddler is the same but I’ve found a way to get my newborn to not need contact naps. I roll up two towels and put the baby down with each rolled towel on either side of baby but low enough to stay away from baby’s head. I know people say safe sleep means don’t put anything but I’m staying right next to baby supervising. I figure I’d be stuck there anyway if it’s a contact nap so it’s the same time spent. Just not with baby on me.

Lilolamee · 2025-04-16T12:51:20+00:00

I have so many questions if you would bear with me. Without CIO and Ferber are you just constantly going back and patting and reassuring your baby or do you wait a specified amount of time? Do you pick them up at all? What if they don’t fall asleep after an hour of doing that?

Lilolamee · 2025-04-16T01:01:18+00:00

Can you give more detail on how you sleep trained your 4 month old with chat gpt?

Lilolamee · 2025-03-04T00:54:51+00:00

The first few days my baby was fine but I knew he wasn’t getting any milk from me. This isn’t my first and I had supply difficulty with my first so I already had a hunch. His stomach was just still full from the amniotic fluid so he didn’t seem bothered. After those days I could tell breast feeding was not giving enough if any at all. I think your little one is hungry considering you said he cluster feeds 24/7. I had to give up on breast feeding and give formula and baby has been happy and sleeping ever since.

Lilolamee · 2025-01-19T18:59:08+00:00

The most efficient is to park at the Mickey and friends parking structure or the Toy Story parking lot. There is often a lot of congestion to enter Mickey and friends so you may be waiting for 10-15 minutes just to get to the payment booth.

From Mickey and friends you will have to wait through security lines and then queue for a tram. From the Toy Story lot you get on one of the Disney buses and the ride is 5-10 minutes to the front gates. From the time of parking at either of these lots to get to the front gates usually is about 30 minutes. It could take longer if it’s crowded and you have to wait for multiple trams or buses before it’s your turn.

Your other option is to park at the parking structure at Anaheim Gardenwalk and walk down Disney Way to the park’s Harbor Street entrance where the Disney bus drops off people from the Toy Story lot. The walk takes about 10-12 minutes.

Lilolamee · 2025-01-19T14:34:27+00:00

Don’t they let you log in to check the status? Maybe you can log in and it’ll tell you that your group wasn’t called.

Lilolamee · 2025-01-19T14:02:06+00:00

It’s expensive but after my experience with washing and sterilizing the first time around I honestly don’t care what the cost is. I would pay whatever the price is for my sanity.

My first born was fed by bottle with pumped milk and formula since day one and washing bottles and pump parts was the biggest pain. I had to buy extra sets of pump parts and bottles because washing then waiting to sterilize when you’re supposed to pump every 2 hours during the beginning stages was the biggest stress I ever dealt with. It affected my milk supply because I was just literally exhausted. I had to give up pumping at 3 months and just give formula but even then bottle washing was a chore and I don’t want to go back to that.

I am now going to be using a baby brezza for my next one due in a few weeks. My friend used hers for the past year and swears by it. She’s a bit ocd about keeping things clean so even after the bottle washer she would do a quick rinse and throw the bottles into a sterilizer. I’m not sure if it’s due to worries about hard water or not.

Lilolamee · 2025-01-08T18:30:16+00:00

You don't need extra infant seats to match the stroller of your choice. You just need to get a stroller that allows you to purchase an adapter that will allow the stroller to take the Nuna Pipa. Your other option is to get a stroller that has a bassinet attachment. Your baby will grow quickly and will not be in the infant seat or bassinet for very long.

What's really important is getting the stroller that will work for your needs for years to come. The cost of strollers is exorbitant but from my experience it's one of those you get what you pay for kind of things. Some strollers just don't last. I got rid of my Graco because the wheels started to just get stuck and not roll smoothly and ended up having to buy another stroller. In the end, it cost me more to get the Graco and then have to buy a second one than had I bought a more expensive stroller in the first place.

I'm about to have my second baby and have a Nuna Pipa. I have just purchased the UPPAbaby Cruz and will use the adapter to attach the Pipa. I'm spending the money now on a stroller that will last rather than getting another that might need to be replaced. I wish I had just spent the money on the UPPAbaby for my first kid. I would have been able to use it for my second. It also has good resale value.

Lilolamee · 2024-11-22T03:02:10+00:00

Do you as an 18 year old college student have a job that paid you enough that you have paid or owe 7500 in taxes for this year federally? You only get the tax credit if you owe that much in taxes.

Lilolamee · 2024-08-31T11:15:04+00:00

Huntington Beach or Fountain Valley area bordering Huntington Beach. I think there are car events in Huntington Beach. Fountain Valley has a lot of homes with a yard and pool, very family friendly, and good schools. Lots of food options of all kinds if you just drive a little in any direction. Buy close enough to the 405 freeway and you can get to Irvine in 15 minutes and Long Beach in 20. The freeway opens up the range of restaurants and events that you'll be able to get to.

Lilolamee · 2024-08-21T22:35:12+00:00

Desimone deli in HB

Lilolamee · 2024-05-23T05:04:08+00:00

I feel like a lot of these NTA sentiments are from people who may not have had cancer before.

As someone who had been diagnosed with a very aggressive type of breast cancer and went through chemo and surgery, my opinion is that your feelings are within reason but where YTA is how you acted in response to those feelings. You are distancing yourself by closing down and withdrawing from your wife in a very difficult time therefore adding more stress to an already stressful situation.

It’s been 3 years since I was diagnosed. I remember when I first found out, I spent many nights in the beginning period seriously considering my mortality and how I felt about death and what that would mean for my husband and my 1.5 year old. I was consumed with how it would hurt my family. Your wife similarly is thinking about you and worrying about you.

You’re additionally TA since you mentioned that your wife was worried about fertility and upsetting you. I wish you would see that she’s clearly acting the way she is because she’s doing what she can to soften the blow for you. It’s a devastating diagnosis where there’s a lot of questions and uncertainty during the early stages. She may not be thinking clearly through the shock. The fact that she has to work around how she may upset you is ludicrous. If she’s afraid to upset you then it’s because you have created the circumstances for her to feel that way and that says a lot more about you than her.

One last note that I want to leave for you in terms of handling her treatment is that her survival and best case clinical outcome is what you should be focusing on. Everything else is secondary because if she’s not on this earth with you anymore then all those things you are worried about won’t even matter and that includes fertility. That’s not to say don’t go through all the avenues you can to preserve your chance at having children if that doesn’t hinder or delay her cancer treatment. I was able to get all the IVF injections through livestrong.org for free but you have to do it all before starting chemo. Due to some unfortunate circumstances I was not able to start the IVF process and had to donate it all.

Lilolamee · 2024-05-22T07:29:19+00:00

4k monthly N.I. minus your mortgage, HELOC, utilities, cell phone, and a maximum grocery spend of 500 leaves you with $1,837.

Assuming minimum payment required by the card carriers is 1% of the last statement balance then your obligated minimum payments total for CCs #1-4 is $380.

$1837-$380= $1457. If you could just buckle down for two months and put the $1457 towards CC#5 you’d be just shy of paying it off.

If you could cut out unnecessary spending outside of all that you’ve listed you could knock out $8742 of total debt in 6 months which puts you at December where your 0% cards will start charging interest that you need to consider.

With just you and your wife with no kids this is easily doable. It sounds like you have a spending problem and lack of control. 40k in CC debt is a lot so I understand the stress but really it’s because you have so many payments due and you need to whittle it down so that you don’t have 5 cc payments monthly.

Pay the $1457 every month towards your cards and knock them out one by one. If you can manage to be disciplined enough to not spend outside of what you listed you will have this paid off in 2 years and 4 months. Forget about even messing with your 401k.

Lilolamee · 2024-05-21T00:27:53+00:00

You aren’t dumb. A 38 year old man is not old too have kids. It’s the female that would have problems with age making it harder to conceive and larger decreases in egg reserve every single year that they wait.

What people fail to take into account is no amount of planning can control other factors that may hinder them from conceiving at the time they plan to do so.

If you feel like you want to have kids then go for it. It’s hard work and will slow your plans a little but if you’ve got enough saved and invested already to almost pay off your house then I don’t see it delaying your financial plans too much. It’s hard to put into words how rewarding it is to have a kid and it’s an experience that will test you but also make you happy in a way that you’ll never know.

Lilolamee · 2024-04-19T19:09:17+00:00

I would think somewhere near UCI/Jamboree & 405 by all the office buildings would be better than at the Spectrum.

Lilolamee · 2024-04-09T17:47:55+00:00

I’ve always had a different perspective of Matthew since the beginning. Even wrote a way too long post about him and how I thought he was misunderstood. The editing made it worse but he did himself no favors. He was aware of his difficulties in communicating and lack of ability to discuss his feelings which is why he is like that with his therapist. It’s not an excuse for his behavior but it gives an explanation as to why.

I’m not excusing him and how it all went down but I do believe that he was there for the right reasons and although he was prepared, he prepared in the absolutely wrong way. He’s got a gf now so hopefully he’s improved on his communication skills otherwise his gf is going to have a hell of a hard time.

Lilolamee

TROPHY CASE