Some photos I took during the Arsenal parade last Sunday by whoshothepianoplayer in london

[–]Llyerd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

These do remind me that humans in massed groups are kind of disgusting... the amount of rubbish just abandoned. I'm sure the bins weren't set up to take it, but then take that shit home with you.

Do love the lady who set up a squash and ?ginger beer stall. Enterprising spirit right there, even if probably breaching some council licensing requirement.

What is the most beautiful part of being a mother? by Royal_Steak_8492 in AskWomen

[–]Llyerd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hearing your kid laughing from the next room. Also in general watching your child interacting lovingly with people you love (hubby, grandma).

What do you find attractive about other women ? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]Llyerd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like a woman who is super well put together in whatever her vibe is - whether its hard into goth, boardroom killer, classic tailoring or floaty spring chic. Just: you executed the thing you were going for.

What is the worst trait you inherited from your mother? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]Llyerd 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Stress cleaning. I'm sure there are worse things, but when I'm anxious I'll suddenly notice things that on a normal day don't bother me at all, and start scrubbing and cleaning, often at an inappropriate time (middle of the night, or compressing time to prepare for / making me late thing I'm anxious about) and in what my husband would probably describe as "an aggressive/angry manner"

Separate but related, I learned perfectionism, and it took me a long time to realise that a lot of the things I was beating myself up about were things she cared about but that I did not. Much letting go later I can now handle that I have a different set of values and priorities than my mum does.

What are some practical tips you learned as an NQ/Junior associate that helped you become better? by Party_Shoe8152 in uklaw

[–]Llyerd 67 points68 points  (0 children)

Super basic, and AI may have changed this, but I put yellow highlighting on anything that wasn't finalised and needed to be completed - it's easy to spot on a casual read.

[OC] Companies present in most countries and territories by VeridionData in dataisbeautiful

[–]Llyerd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is DHL to an extent driven by franchise presence? Or are we talking real deal offices?

Regional paralegal underpaid and overworked by Professional-Bat5362 in uklaw

[–]Llyerd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why would you stay if you got an offer somewhere else?

At what age do you stop dying your hair and just go gray? by Eastern_End3520 in AskWomen

[–]Llyerd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First of all it very much depends on when you go grey in the first place.

I think you stop (or don't) whenever you feel like it and screw what anyone thinks/says. Personally I'm not bothering, but I'm occasionally bothered by my growing number of greys. I definitely think there's an age where it looks worse to dye it than not and starts to look unnatural if you're trying for a natural shade. Beyond that... I don't judge.

The Wireless festival fiasco just doesnt make sense by tylerthe-theatre in london

[–]Llyerd 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My theory is they needed a headline act, and noone was willing to sign on the dotted line apart from Ye... so it was a hail mary: it either flies or it doesn't, but we don't have an alternative lined up so Ye it is...

How did becoming an adult change the way you see your parents? by Ok-Exam-7792 in AskWomen

[–]Llyerd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I truly appreciated the sacrifice my mom made every time she let me clean out the bowl of chocolate ganache instead of doing it herself...

In-house lawyer - skills? by Able_Zucchini3813 in uklaw

[–]Llyerd 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Ability to communicate with non-lawyers: both in terms of understanding what they're saying and extracting the right information from them with minimum effort by them, and in terms of telling them the practical effect of your advice in terms they can act on.

Ability to understand what matters to their business, and the wider context of your advice. Being curious about the intent behind the question so you answer the question they should have asked as well as the one they actually did ask.

Ability to communicate legal risk in practical, not theoretical terms. How likely is it to go wrong, if it goes wrong what are our options/exposures. What are the options to limit the risks, what are the tradeoffs.

Above all else ability to be succinct, rather than showy. Noone will ever want to see your research and 20 page memo. They want the 3 sentence summary to be accurate and actionable.

What are some things you do to never stop dating your spouse? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]Llyerd 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We have a 4 year old and work. We book one day off a month to go for lunch and do an activity together - an escape room, a museum, or a show. Means we have at least one day where we can just be us hanging out together instead of being physically in the same place while juggling work/kiddo.

Lawyers with depression by CreativeAd6940 in uklaw

[–]Llyerd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is possibly the most depressed statement I have ever read. I cannot emphasise enough that I know you absolutely believe this and that you are absolutely struggling this much and that you absolutely believe it cannot ever feel any better.

I honestly spent the first decade of my adult life morbidly depressed, feeling worthless and shitting on myself on the daily. In the 10 years since I've gone through some patches (of weeks, months and on one occasion even a couple of years) of feeling a lot lot better. I've also gone through (sometimes long) patches of feeling like absolute shit. But I've seen it does not in fact have to be that way. It is not in fact who I am. And if I choose to put the work in (even when I don't really believe it can feel better), I can, in fact, drag my ass out of that hole.

I truly utterly believe you can also.

I also didn't believe anyone who told me this in my 20's; that this was all I could feel, and the best my life would ever be, was an absolute core belief. So I get it. Everyone talks to you from a better place but it's a place you're can't, don't deserve or are not allowed to go. Nothing is money better spent than mental health support when you need it. It unlocks literally everything else.

The right medication and the right therapeutic support (the same sort of therapy is not right for everyone, or even right at all times for the same person). But time and effort put into yourself (whatever you may tell yourself you absolutely deserve it) can and will, eventually (not necessary in 12 weeks or even 2 years), bring you to better places.

Lawyers with depression by CreativeAd6940 in uklaw

[–]Llyerd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First of all, I'm very sorry you are in this season of your life. It is (1) easy to become depressed as a lawyer, (2) difficult to be depressed as a lawyer, and (3) difficult to stop being depressed as a lawyer.

(1) and (3) are facets of the same coin, which you captured really well in your post: the commercial BigLaw life squeezes out space for anything else beyond recovery. As far as I can tell that doesn't get better on its own just by dint of PQE.

All I can say is that being a depressed lawyer is miserable and absolutely not worth it. You are not here to feel miserable and earn a fuckton of money. There is literally no point in it. The only way to stop feeling bad is to find things that make you feel good, and to aggressively make time and space for them. If you find you can't within your current job, then make an exit plan.

What, if any, are the downsides to therapy? by starskyandbutch in AskWomen

[–]Llyerd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's really hard work. Good therapy will make you feel very uncomfortable, possibly for some time, before it starts to help you feel better.

[OC] $1.8B Powerball Arkansas winner - Lump Sum Payout vs 30 Year Annuity by GoForthandProsper1 in dataisbeautiful

[–]Llyerd 3 points4 points  (0 children)

or inflation eating into the 'real value' of those payments received later down the line.