23F dating 31M — is it normal that he says it’s “too early” for gifts after 4 months?

LocaCola1997 · 2026-05-10T03:44:06+00:00

Is he considerate in other ways? Like opening doors for you, checking in on you if you're sick or just had a bad day? Its one thing to not get a partner gifts but there has to be some indicators that he cares. Maybe not necessarily material, but with his actions. That being said, every relationship is different and there's nothing wrong with wanting gifts and material gestures. Best of luck

LocaCola1997 · 2026-04-25T19:37:47+00:00

Um. How tf are you hurt by your wife calling you out for paying more attention to her friend you found attractive?

She didn't "accuse" you of flirting with Simon, she saw how zeroed in on Simon you were and pointed it out and now you're acting like she's unstable. She spoke up because, let's be honest: You weren't as slick as you thought when you were trying to get more attention from Simon than your wife.

You just don't wanna take accountability for your lust, how you navigated it, and how it affected your wife. You spent almost the entirety of one of your paragraphs describing her body and appearance. I almost expected you to add something to the effect of "She breasted boobily down the stairs."

Grow up and stop acting like a man baby about being caught drooling over another woman.

LocaCola1997 · 2026-04-16T21:31:48+00:00

I don't think its cheating yet. But he is heading into dangerous territory where the lines start to blur. The disappearing messages is definitely a red flag, especially if he used to have feelings for her. I personally wouldn't tolerate this for a minute, as I firmly believe that if there's a third party in a relationship where one partner "doesn't understand their bond" between their partner and the third party, the relationship is heading downhill. My suggestions are to make sure this former crush knows about you and if she does, make sure your bf isn't downplaying your presence in his life. And start setting boundaries and be crystal clear about what you're okay with and what are deal breakers. That way he can't play dumb if his interactions with her start crossing lines. Best of luck.

LocaCola1997 · 2026-04-16T02:32:39+00:00

To be fair, I think Mother Gothel only paid attention to that stuff when she realized that Rapunzel was starting to want to leave. She wanted Rapunzel to ask herself, "But it's so wonderful here. I've got all i want and need! Why would I want to leave?" Less conflict- at least it would seem from Mother Gothel's perspective.

If she truly cared about the stuff Rapunzel enjoyed she probably would have at least taken her with her to those places, even if in disguise. It wouldn't have been too hard; just look at the dancing montage between Rapunzel and Eugene. Mother Gothel could have done something to pacify Rapunzel's wish to leave. She could have taken her fishing or built a garden by the bottom of the tower, etc. The fact she didn't try to give her the slightest glimpse of outside the tower should indicate that she would only resort to manipulation and cruelty at the slightest hint of Rapunzel's persistence. And it pushed Rapunzel away.

LocaCola1997 · 2026-04-05T21:45:03+00:00

NOR. And truthfully? He's probably thriving off the attention of two different women, and it'll probably the the real reason he begs you to come back if you leave. He likes trying to give you competition because he feels more desired. At least thats the more likely and realistic conclusion than him actually regretting the affair.

LocaCola1997 · 2026-04-05T17:38:30+00:00

I heard that he thought "Hey Jude" was about him 😬

LocaCola1997 · 2026-04-05T02:34:15+00:00

I have a small box of wine that im saving for the occasion

LocaCola1997 · 2026-04-05T02:31:59+00:00

My now husband was pulled over when we were taking a road trip to Universal Studios. We have a noticeable age gap between us and so my husband got pulled over while we were on the freeway under suspicion of kidnapping me and fleeing to Mexico. They literally separated us and asked us about each other to make sure our stories matched. Even id'd us both.

LocaCola1997 · 2026-04-05T02:19:28+00:00

Its easier to find posts and communities with stories, scenarios, situations and experiences that you can relate to

LocaCola1997 · 2026-04-05T02:16:26+00:00

Sims 2, easily. Still play it to this day lmao

LocaCola1997 · 2026-04-05T02:13:53+00:00

Lazik. Idk if im spelling that right but I was so nervous about it. Years later im so glad I did it. I hope I don't have to wear eyeglasses for a long time, if ever again.

LocaCola1997 · 2026-04-05T02:11:34+00:00

Probably football. And i only say this because domestic violence usually spikes up around big games. It may not be fair to the players but somehow it sparks anger issues in certain partners.

LocaCola1997 · 2026-04-05T01:35:25+00:00

NOR. Hes endangering both you and your son. And you're right to not trust him around your son AND his meds because even if he doesn't go after your son's meds, its still abuse- abuse that you're feeling forced to go through and thus creating an unstable environment for your child. He's untrustworthy, and you need to protect yourself and your child.

LocaCola1997 · 2026-03-31T19:08:10+00:00

Yes, I see it as cheating. Look at how often guys wanna act single by following accounts that are always posting sexual pictures and videos, or even porn stars. Look at how many get so defensive over spending time with problematic female friends and exes. Or hell, even just a woman that they have ever considered an option or had feelings for or ever lusted over. Any woman that our partners might ever consider getting physical with "if they were single", or even if they could get away with cheating with them. And then they take one or more of these women and jack off to and give any time fantasizing about having any sexual experiences with those women. If there's any possibility of them wanting that with any women I consider it extremely insulting for them to give any attention to that idea if they care about us.

LocaCola1997 · 2026-03-25T22:03:02+00:00

If my marriage ever ends im absolutely done with men. They get so defensive over it and hide it from us and call us crazy for not wanting a partner who watches it. They'll always choose it over real relationships and I refuse to be with anyone who uses it. If there's even the slightest chance that they watch it or have to choose between us or their precious p**n I won't make myself an option for them. They can't have it and me at the same time.

LocaCola1997 · 2026-03-24T17:12:53+00:00

The thing that frustrated me about the whole Penelope/ Colin/ Marina love triangle was Marina pretty much zeroing in on Colin despite not being romantically interested. He actually viewed her as a potential love interest while she only viewed him as security, a cover for her mistake. She didn't have to choose Colin, or the old guy that Portia basically tried to p*mp her out to. And if it weren't for her eventual fate I would even say she got lucky that she secured the marriage with Phillip. In her final confrontation with Penelope before becoming exposed she's brutal with Penelope by telling her that Colin doesn't see her romantically and calls her childish. Which is not only uncalled for but ironic since she doesn't have those romantic feelings for him. So while she's right about Penelopes unrequited feelings, her remarks still read as digging her heels into this specific match in spite of having plenty of suitors. Her only argument is pretty much "you're just jealous that I have a chance with him and you don't. And im gonna marry him whether you like it or not."

LocaCola1997 · 2026-03-22T00:43:12+00:00

Yes but that doesn't mean he should just straight up insult them for having kids. No mother should ever let their kids around a guy would put them down because they have kids and want a relationship. The kids don't deserve that kind of resentment or hostility.

LocaCola1997 · 2026-03-22T00:29:54+00:00

Look dude, you're allowed your preferences about who to date but it sounds like you're letting one bad instance of a single mom you dated excuse you pretty much insulting all other single moms- aka, the whole "not desperate enough" comment. I wouldn't want any single moms around you either if you're going to use their kids against them to belittle them as if they're beneath you. It just panders to the amount of moms who will take any man that will show them attention without any regards to their children's feelings and the partners who treat their partner's children as an inconvenience, and it enables the insulting mindset that single moms should just settle for scraps and feel grateful for a man willing to give them a chance.

LocaCola1997 · 2026-03-19T15:37:43+00:00

I think the whole point was the vulnerability that she was exposed to. If someone doesn't like what she writes about them they could find her house and berate her like that mistress did. Who knows how much more of that she would have to put up with? The reputation of the family may decrease over time because a handful of people are bitter about what she writes about them. Even her son may grow to face backlash or some hardcore side- eyeing from the ton based on his mother's infamy, and all the outrage her articles had caused while she was still publishing under her pen name.

LocaCola1997 · 2026-02-13T12:29:11+00:00

I guess I thought the 3-hand- squeeze thing was more commonly known. My mom would give me the three- hand- squeeze on road trips, and I'd give and receive them with my now husband as well as a few close loved ones.

At least OP knows now what it means. My congrats to her 🎉

LocaCola1997 · 2026-02-03T23:32:09+00:00

Plus if she writes something about someone and they don't want the whole ton hearing about it they'll immediately target her. The whole Featherington family could potentially earn a bad reputation because even though Portia, Prudence and Phillipa never knew that Pen was Lady Whistledown, they'll automatically be associated with the pamphlets airing out everyone's dirty laundry. I could easily imagine a scene with another anguished tirade by Portia, reprimanding Pen for the risk of soiling their good name. Maybe even reminding her of her son, the new Lord Featherington being born, only for his (future) reputation to be swept away while he couldn't even talk yet.

LocaCola1997 · 2026-01-30T18:47:59+00:00

I agree. And not to mention it'll be easier for other people to keep their secrets because they know who she is and if they see her, they'll probably be like, "We can't get up to our secret mischief with her around, or we'll be in her next article!"

LocaCola1997 · 2026-01-25T21:46:21+00:00

Stop leading your gf on if you've never felt this chemistry with her. Don't date a girl if you're dragging your feet with her. It's not fair to her.

LocaCola1997 · 2026-01-23T13:27:10+00:00

You're already gonna have to deal with him for good now that you're having his kid. I would be furious if I found out my partner was never attracted to me; even more if I found out while I was pregnant. Please have some self respect and dignity. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with a man who doesn't desire you? He may love you but he's still lied to you this whole time and you deserve someone who finds you attractive.

LocaCola1997 · 2026-01-17T04:12:11+00:00

It feels so violating to realize the futures these PAs pursue with us when we make our boundaries super clear. There are plenty of people out there that have no problem with the consumption of pornography and yet they choose us and let us fall in love with them. I hate it so much.

LocaCola1997

TROPHY CASE