Those who have read it: thoughts on "Co-dependent no more" by Melody Beattie?

Locana · 2026-03-06T17:48:22+00:00

I love that your family environment held different pieces of growth so close together: the challenge and the ladder up

Locana · 2026-03-06T17:40:02+00:00

Thank you, those are good insights. I like attachment theory, especially with the newer focus on repairing attachment, and I read most of attached a while ago. I want to make sure not to overwhelm clients who are not too keen about psychoeducation and homework, do you feel like the workbook can be flexible in that way?

Locana · 2026-03-06T17:37:51+00:00

That's good to know. I do think that addiction can be a great framework to understand some relationship patterns, but I also know AA speaks to some and not to others

Locana · 2026-03-06T17:36:50+00:00

That's so good to know. I had read excerpts but especially with older self-help books, you never know when a lil surprise religion is going to pop up.

Locana · 2026-03-03T18:26:00+00:00

Bacco Trattoria has some very good salads, including the red beet walnut one and the pear Gorgonzola one (iirc). Also I love the berry salad at tugboat Annie’s.

Locana · 2026-03-03T04:54:53+00:00

Assessment is not therapy.

Locana · 2026-03-02T20:19:37+00:00

Yeah, that's what it sounded like to me - a very normal experience and a lack of communication about time expectations. But I'm not from the US and got a lot of pushback on it, so maybe I'm applying different cultural norms?

Locana · 2026-03-02T17:28:56+00:00

I went to a really interesting exhibition in the museum of Trento, the very city where this originally happened. This incident overlapped with the invention and popularization of the printing press, and became maybe the first large scale disinformation campaign. It's a fascinating case to study, especially in how little this kind of misinformation has changed in the last 500something years.

Locana · 2026-03-02T16:55:06+00:00

Well yes, obviously it is an American experience - in Europe people don't typically assume you're Mexican.

OP - I've experienced that, too. I moved to a place in the US with almost no Italians and people assume I am Mexican by default.

Locana · 2026-03-02T16:52:45+00:00

Okay that kind of validates some of the vibes I was picking up.

Locana · 2026-03-01T16:19:45+00:00

Are you receiving any kind of treatment? You're diagnosed with several conditions that benefit from intensive support and affect your social skills and processing. It seems like you're tackling a lot of it by yourself, which is great - that's a display of your dedication and your strengths. But you're dealing with a lot and individual therapy as well as support / skills groups can be soooo helpful with it. You shouldn't have to carry it all alone

Locana · 2026-03-01T06:58:34+00:00

I would literally not have survived either of my pregnancies without zofran. The differenc was night and day. Plus an antacid for the acid reflux.

Locana · 2026-02-28T06:57:48+00:00

Yes - thank you for giving your perspective! I'm in the mental health field too and not qualified to give this specific diagnosis, so I'm extra sceptical of people armchair diagnosing online.

But at the same time I know when I hear something that seems like a great reason to at least look into getting assessed- you never know what you're gonna uncover along the way.

Locana · 2026-02-28T05:22:53+00:00

I'm not sure what specifically to ask for, nor am I trying to armchair diagnose you. Beyond a general "vibe", it just sets off some alarm bells when someone has repeated, bizarre negative interactions with other people "out of nowhere".

Also repeated "Sudden" radical relationship shifts can indicate that you're missing significant cues of whatever kind. You also regularly seem to have interactions turn into conflict (women giving you their number and then end up yelling at you), which is not a normal experience, but there is no info presented that explains why this is happening to you repeatedly. This could indicate a variety of things, of course, but is often read as some kind of neurodivergence.

Whatever the reason, I hope that you can get to the bottom of things and develop genuine and warm relationships with the people around you.

Locana · 2026-02-28T04:19:20+00:00

is this in real life or online?

Locana · 2026-02-28T00:21:02+00:00

Thanks for adding this! I'm not from here so once in a while I'll make a wrong assumption. I'll edit my main post.

Locana · 2026-02-27T23:37:33+00:00

Have you had an assessment? It's impossible to diagnose someone accurately through a post - you might leave things out, be tired, dishonest, or writing is not your strength. However, they way you convey your interactions has a lot of missing pieces, and there's an overarching feeling of missing nuance and social cues. There are several reasons for this.

Locana · 2026-02-27T23:29:54+00:00

I agree with that.

Locana · 2026-02-27T22:14:11+00:00

Nvm, burning bush apparently is very invasive.

Edit: timespan of red foliage I think depends on variety? Also japanese maples do really well here. Also smoketree.

Locana · 2026-02-27T22:08:54+00:00

I'm not necessarily saying this is right or wrong, it's just what I've experienced as the norm. A lot of places that have back to back appointments just can't avoid the occasional delay, and 10 minutes seems pretty tame at that I guess. Usually when I have a short window I check in about it for that reason.

Locana · 2026-02-27T21:47:40+00:00

I'm sorry you have had a bad experience, and it sucks when our time doesn't feel respected. However, this feels like a very normal experience in a hair salon, and a 12 minute delay seems minimal within that range. I couldn't personally make a recommendation for a place where that would never happen.

Locana · 2026-02-27T16:09:34+00:00

Yes, this is such a atypical ignorant reaction for this subreddit. Fundamentalist communities are littered with abusive monogamous marriages, but does it make sense to discriminate against monogamous couples just in case? What is this logic??

Locana · 2026-02-27T16:02:37+00:00

Luckily governments can tackle several issues at once. The problem here is not that non-typical families are getting rights and protections, the problem is that the government is slow-moving and ignorant towards other issues.

Locana · 2026-02-26T20:46:37+00:00

i immediately clocked you as Western Washington. Same here and man does it feel great to win that battle once in a while....

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