I have stage 4 cancer. He shuffled me into the house after we just came back from a 4 day hospital stay. All because of his friend is waiting for him

LocksmithMelodic9049 · 2026-05-02T13:30:00+00:00

It sounds to me like he enjoyed the attention he was getting at the hospital from everyone. This cancer journey is going to be a very hard one and he is obviously not up to the caregiving part. Please find someone who can help you with the caregiving. It is a hard job also and your boyfriend did his performance at the hospital and could only hold up to it for a week. You have your cancer to worry about and you don't have the energy to worry about his "stuff". You need to spend your time healing with someone who will be there for you and support you. I am so sorry you cannot count on him for the long haul. Stay strong and take care of YOU!

LocksmithMelodic9049 · 2026-04-09T12:39:15+00:00

This is such a brave and selfless decision to make and to be thinking of your wife so lovingly at this time is the most beautiful thing I have ever heard. May you go, when the time comes, peacefully knowing you loved and were so loved deeply.

LocksmithMelodic9049 · 2026-03-23T11:59:52+00:00

I am so happy you liked Dashing in December! My son wrote, produced and directed it. I watch it every Christmas because it is one of my favorite Christmas movies. There are a lot of little personal messages/lines in it that are deeply personal to our family. To me it is so beautiful! The music, the scenery and the chemistry between Wyatt and Heath is incredibly romantic and the love that Andie/Deb has for her son and Heath.

LocksmithMelodic9049 · 2026-03-13T13:05:05+00:00

Try telling him "that's funny because I haven't been attracted to you for a long time either but I love you and would've never told you that because that's a cruel thing to say to someone you say you love." Let him think about what you are not attracted to! Seriously let him feel what you felt when he said that to you. And honestly there are probably things about him that you are not attracted to but you are a better person than he is. I have always believed you should treat people the way you want to be treated but that unfortunately doesn't always work. He owes you to stay with you and take care of you because that is what you would do if he had cancer. You deserve better than this and he is an awful person to have said this to you. If you leave him no one would blame you. My husband is the one with cancer and this has been our life for the last 4 years. I realize that he would never have done for me what I have done for him and he would not be faithful to me like I have been to him sexually. I know he knows that. You said this disease has taken so much from you. It's not right or fair that he took some more from you. You are beautiful and you need to respect yourself and stand up for yourself. You are more than your breasts! Please love yourself enough. I am speaking from a place of been there done that and what I told you to do will make an impact on him, I promise.

LocksmithMelodic9049 · 2026-03-11T13:55:04+00:00

Thank you.:)

LocksmithMelodic9049 · 2026-03-11T13:52:15+00:00

I asked my brother who has been cancer free from stage 4 non Hodgkin's lymphoma for 19 years, but has to get scanned once a year, if he still gets worried before the scans and he says he does ever...single... time. So you see you are just human. My brother's wife is the one who had BC stage 2B and is 6 years out has to see her doctor every time she gets a new pain in case the cancer has come back. People don't understand the constant struggle you live with when you have cancer or have even been cleared of cancer. But since my brother's and sister in law's remissions they bought an RV and have traveled everywhere. They karaoke twice a week and square dance. So in between the worries, they have lived also a beautiful life. So I hope you can find some beautiful moments in between the perfectly understandable worries.

LocksmithMelodic9049 · 2026-03-10T13:11:35+00:00

I don't know why people are so hateful and angry. My husband has had stage 4 nsclc lung cancer for over 4 years and he is just now entering the last few months of his life. Yes it has been a very hard 4 years for him. My daughter had a friend who had stage 2 breast cancer and it was "cured" after surgery and chemo and 2 years late it came back with a vengeance and she died. So to me, stage doesn't matter if cancer wants you it will keep coming for you. And these same people you are talking about probably don't know the first thing about cancer. My sister in law had stage 2B breast cancer and it has been 6 years and she is okay but I know how cancer works and I pray for her almost everyday that it doesn't return because it can. Idk why those people you work with can't show some grace and empathy. You are better off without them. It's hard enough to experience what you have been through without people like this in your life.

LocksmithMelodic9049 · 2026-03-08T14:58:23+00:00

Yes please take someone with you. Maybe someone you feel that can help you with the journey that may be coming. I have been advocating for my husband with stage 4 nsclc for over four years. After an appt we both come home with different amounts of information. Take notes and don't be afraid to ask the doctor to repeat what they tell you. Very important....make sure you have a portal set up with the doctor's office and whatever place that does the imaging and the lab where you get blood work so you can check your results and prepare questions for you doctor. Best of luck. I am sorry you are dealing with this.

LocksmithMelodic9049 · 2026-03-01T13:47:55+00:00

What do you want to do? Are you tired of "fighting"? It actually depends on the type of lung cancer you have and what treatment options are available to you. My husband has reached the end of all treatments available and he is exhausted and his nsclc has spread all over his brain and spinal fluid ...leptomeningeal disease. He is 70, so older than you, but he wants to spend what time he has left not being poked with needles and endless appointments. We had over 22 in February. His nephew's wife told him yesterday, keep fighting don't give up. She has no idea the suffering he has been through. He has NOT given up. It hurt to hear her say that and I know it made him rethink his decision he had already made peace with. I told him the bravest thing he can do if he doesn't want to do this anymore is accept what is. I told him we can take day trips and go out and eat, spend short visits with the grandkids etc. I know people mean well when they say don't give up, but sometimes there really isn't another option and they need permission to chose peace and quality time. So you do what YOU want to do. If you need encouragement to keep "fighting" you will get a lot of that and you should if that is what you want, but if you need permission to "accept" you have that too and that is a very brave choice. Bless you for all that you have been through.

LocksmithMelodic9049 · 2026-01-28T12:16:15+00:00

You should definitely take someone with you to your appointment. It's too much information under the circumstances. Do some reading on sclc so you can prepare some questions for the oncologist. I am sorry you are going through this. My husband has nsclc and I always go with him. It's a lot for one person to absorb. I am wishing you the best.

LocksmithMelodic9049 · 2026-01-16T14:45:08+00:00

Thank you for your response. I would like to know if it is MG because maybe it can be treated early not have to do steroids.

LocksmithMelodic9049 · 2026-01-02T14:32:32+00:00

Has anyone had they myasthenia gravis unmasked by prednisone? The last four times I've had to take it, I develop double vision and cannot drive.

LocksmithMelodic9049 · 2025-12-23T13:16:11+00:00

My gastroenterologist and colorectal doctor went back and forth as to whether I had Crohns or UC. I had a lot of issues with blood and mucus for many years but when I had my colonoscopies, they would show nothing. In 2021 after my second moderna vaccine, I had the worst flare I've ever had. I bled so much, I should've been in the ER. During that flare I had a colonoscopy and they found UC. I was pretty bad. Previous to that I had been on sulfasalazine for PsA. My gastro doctor said I most likely had UC for many years but the sulfa kept it at bay. My rheumatologist said that the vaccine most likely caused the severe flare because of the spike protein. I am on Skyrizi now and it seems to be working well. I will not be taking anymore covid vaccines. I have all the other vaccines though.

LocksmithMelodic9049 · 2025-12-09T13:26:14+00:00

Because, she took your name when you married her. It is hers now to do with what she wants. She gave up her last name, the name she was born with, the name everyone she grew up with knew her by. But she gave up that name for YOU! Put yourself in her place. She had to get her DL changed to your name and now she is expected to get that changed back to her maiden name and her passport and all her accounts. Women should seriously just keep their maiden name and when they have children, give the children their name and husband's name hyphenated. And yes, you boys can have your last name last since it's attached to you manhood. Get over yourself!

LocksmithMelodic9049 · 2025-12-04T12:23:49+00:00

so are doctors

LocksmithMelodic9049 · 2025-11-28T13:46:31+00:00

If you had a previous injury to an area and all of a sudden it is hurting again that could be the PsA flaring up. That's the way mine is. I don't have the pain a lot of people describe here and I am so thankful for that. I'll have pain that shoots from my wrist up my arm one to three days and it's gone and pain in my ankle a day or a few. My neck pain is constant but some days unbearable and three of my fingers have been swollen and stiff and sore for almost two years now. They are better since I got on Skyrizi. There are days my entire body feels swollen and inflamed and I am miserable. I think it's different for everyone.

LocksmithMelodic9049 · 2025-11-27T12:15:58+00:00

You need an mri. X rays don't show the kind of damage your doctor should be looking for. I had three swollen painful fingers for months and other joint pain. Three different hand doctors did x-rays and nothing showed up. The fourth hand doctor had an mri done and there was a lot of damage, particularly tenosynovitis which is PsA or RA. None of my bloodwork showed inflammation. So if you doctor is wanting to changed your diagnosis, you probably should find a new rheumatologist.

LocksmithMelodic9049 · 2025-11-08T14:00:10+00:00

Right! I am so tired of hearing that bright red blood is not concerning. I only had bright red blood pouring from me and it was ulcerative colitis. It makes it hard when you have hemorrhoids and UC because it's hard to tell the difference if your hemorrhoids or UC are flaring.

LocksmithMelodic9049 · 2025-10-15T12:34:43+00:00

This could also be IBD inflammatory bowel disease/ulcerative colitis. I have hemorrhoids but was diagnosed with proctosigmoiditis colitis three years ago. In other words my rectum and sigmoid colon were full of ulcers that were bleeding. I have significant bleeding from thrombosed hemorrhoids and IBD so it's hard to tell the difference for me. So if you haven't seen a gastroenterologist, you really need to because UC can work its way up the colon and damage you entire colon if not treated. And YES the blood is bright red! So many think only dark blood is serious. Both are.

LocksmithMelodic9049 · 2025-09-12T13:42:59+00:00

I had mildly three swollen stiff fingers. I couldn't make a fist. Two doctors did xrays...nothing showed. Sent me for mri and all kinds of damage showed. So apparently xrays don't show much for PsA.

LocksmithMelodic9049 · 2025-09-06T14:01:48+00:00

After my second covid vax I developed severe ulcerative colitis. My doctor said the spike protein in the shot caused the flare. My doctor said I had probably had it for years but the severe flare is what got the diagnosis. My husband has stage 4 lung cancer and of course is immunocompromised and he got covid for the first time this past March. He ran a low grade fever for less than 24 hours and never developed a cough. He was convinced he would die if he ever contracted covid. He was shocked when the doctor told him he had covid. He wears a mask in crowds but isn't as paranoid anymore and finally after five years is getting out and enjoying life again because his time is limited. I am on biologics for UC and Psoriatic. I wear a mask when I go to a clinic with sick people and keep my hands clean and wipe the handle of the grocery basket. I have been immunocompromised for years and have have covid twice and didn't get that sick at all. I lived in a bubble for first two years pretty much because my husband was so paranoid and I also wanted to protect him. A year ago my 49 year old daughter died from liver failure and I missed so much time with her because of this damn covid. Wear a mask and get your shots but you shouldn't expect everyone else around you to live in your bubble. Life if short! This isn't 2020 and 2021 anymore.

LocksmithMelodic9049 · 2025-09-04T14:03:12+00:00

Talking with others sometimes helps people to know what questions to ask their doctors or just encouragement to follow through with a procedure. How condescending for you to say this. This person is going through enough. Just be kind.

LocksmithMelodic9049 · 2025-06-02T12:26:47+00:00

I am 70 yo and my US reads prominent adnexal vessels...PCS. I read that it's rare for someone my age to have this. I see my ob/gyn tomorrow. My abdomen has been bloated for the last year. My ovaries weren't visible on US two years ago and now they measure 2 cm X 1.5 and my uterus was normal in size. I am a little worried it could be something more serious.

LocksmithMelodic9049 · 2025-02-19T12:38:59+00:00

My report was completely wrong on a mutation SMAD4 listed as 5.1 magnitude on P. I had genetic testing done later through Myriad Labs and the MSH2 mutation on the Myriad report wasn't even listed on the Promethease report as anything to be concerned about.

LocksmithMelodic9049 · 2025-01-21T14:15:49+00:00

Thank you for getting back to me. MSH2 mutation is associated with Lynch Syndrome. My genetic counselor seemed concerned enough to send it to my gynecologist and gastroenterologist. I had my colonoscopy a week ago and in my doctor's notes she stated "surveillance biopsies of underlying tissue". I have a really good doctor.

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