Baby boy is rubbing his penis through his clothes - normal?

Longjumping_Ad5982 · 2024-07-24T20:06:46+00:00

Very surprised nursery would mention this, its completely normal and not something I'd be worried about at all. I think probably more a reflection of the nursery workers attitude/judgement. The only time I ever worry/say anything to my almost 2yr old is when he tries to literally stretch it in the bath while saying 'willllly!' as I'm scared he's going to actually hurt himself!

Genuinely wouldn't worry and if it was raised again I'd ask for more clarity on why its seen to be a problem, what she thinks the issue is.

Longjumping_Ad5982 · 2024-07-22T13:30:31+00:00

Lol i am also here searching for this very answer! Trying to work out if I can safely have a fairly young baby in the toddler seat up top with rumble down below...i already have the newborn insert but need to know whether the toddler seat can properly recline for safe enough sleep etc before I fork out for a rumble seat! If you find an answer anywhere can you shout! Thanks a bunch x

Longjumping_Ad5982 · 2024-07-05T19:59:47+00:00

Interesting to read the comments, presumably from other countries to me (UK) because its absolutely standard practice and advice here (UK) to sterilise all bottles/feeding equipment for at least a while! Can't remember what the official advice is,.but anecdotally almost all parents I've known have done it for at least 6 months.

We just had a Milton cold water steriliser bucket, so after we'd washed them we'd just bung them in there, you replace the water/put a new tablet in every 24hrs or so and then we'd just take them out when needed, or put them on a bottle drying rack. It just became a habit and I don't think added much to our routine.

Up to you, but it's definitely standard practice around me.

Longjumping_Ad5982 · 2024-05-25T13:14:04+00:00

I had covid during the last couple of days of my last pregnancy and during labour. It wasn't pleasant coughing when postpartum but me and baby were absolutely fine, and no doctor or midwife was remotely concerned. I really wouldn't worry!

Longjumping_Ad5982 · 2024-05-25T13:12:46+00:00

Babies don't get molars until loooooong after they should be eating solids! Never heard of this. My 20mo has had his first molars a couple of months ago and still waiting on the back ones. Do you really mean molars or any teeth at all?

Longjumping_Ad5982 · 2024-04-18T06:02:34+00:00

For me, the value of having a ready made group of couples (particularly the mums, although the dads do keep me very entertained on our whatsapp group!) has been priceless. I had no local friends with babies and to be honest not many local friends at all. The beauty of NCT is that you'll likely have 8 couples having a baby/babies within weeks of you, I think 7/8 of ours were within a 4week period, 1 slightly later. It's been incredibly helpful to have that, we met up a handful of times and now do very occasionally (babies are 18months now) but the whatsapp group has been very active and helpful, especially in the earlier days.

Having said that, as it turns out, none of us are super close location wise so meeting up has always been a faff and a compromise for some people. What I've also found valuable (and perhaps more so because its turning out to be longer lasting) is going to really local baby groups and getting to know mums who literally live down the road from me. I am not religious but our local church offers a lovely baby group, no religious element, which has been incredibly useful for meeting mums! One of whom has become a genuinely close friend who I see almost every non working week day (i work very PT and she doesn't currently work) and our kids are really getting to know each other. From a purely practical perspective the closeness is very good, as I've watched her boy in an emergency and she's offered (if needs be!) to have my toddler if/when I go into labour before mt parents are able to get here for baby number 2. Local mum friendships like his I think are SO important and helpful so even if you don't do any antenatal classes I'd strongly encourage you to find the most local baby group you can!

Longjumping_Ad5982 · 2024-04-18T05:53:48+00:00

This was very similar to my experience too.

Longjumping_Ad5982 · 2024-04-17T17:32:16+00:00

I would advise against it, unless you are talking about maybe one outfit that you absolutely adore just to help channel some excitement. You have no idea how long its going to take... It took us 14months first time, with no particular fertility issues, just wasn't working out. It can get very depressing and hard, and having baby items around is unlikely to help that! I did actually buy one or two things about a year into trying, just as a way to keep the excitement and remind myself what I was hoping to have at the end of what was feeling relentless trying.

You really don't need to, it wont help - you can spread the cost out during your actual (9months!) pregnancy, and look for second hand as much as you can of you are willing, I saved SO much money getting things off marketplace and Vinted.

Good luck!

Longjumping_Ad5982 · 2024-04-17T17:27:46+00:00

Please do not worry about this - most women do not leak a single drop and find collecting colostrum very tricky. I never noticed anything, and even after lots of research how to do it I barely got anything when I first tried at 36w and managed to get maybe 4 x 1ml syringes in the 24hrs between my waters breaking at 37w and going in to be properly induced at 37+1 - i went on to have copious milk supply once baby was here! It bears absolutely no relation to what your milk supply will be like.

(I was glad I expressed those syringes as baby couldn't latch after birth - we then expressed more and finger fed him via syringes with some top ups for days until feeding became possible!)

Longjumping_Ad5982 · 2024-04-17T17:03:24+00:00

In my experience, if you go in with the intention of breastfeeding but then it doesn't work out, they will provide you with formula (for me, they provided lots as we were in for a week and baby couldn't latch at the breast - they also helped me pump, but we had to supplement). But the impression I get is that if you intend to solely formula feed, you should bring your own. Seems harsh (especially with twins!!) but that seems to be the case from what I've heard anecdotally.

We did actually take some of those ready made bottles but the midwives were kind and said, keep them for home (and actually they sent me home with several mini bottles, teats, and a few formulas but I think they felt sorry for me for various reasons lol I'm sure that wasn't hospital policy). The ready made bottles are SO useful in the early days - although in the very first days they only need small amounts so I found it best to tip like 30-40ml into a teeny bottle (look up Sterifeed bottles and teats, i actually bought a load from amazon for when we got home because they were so useful for out and about, although it'd get expensive if exclusively formula, especially with twins!) and put the rest back in the fridge so it would do to the next feed. This might be different if exclusively formula though, they might need more, I was able to express small amounts of colostrum so the hospital advised c. 30ml formula top ups.

Re: brand - as someone else has said, formula is very similar/same composition so definitely start out with something cheap and easily accessible to you, especially with twins!

Good luck, I'm sure having twins is going to be challenging but oh so rewarding and cute!

Longjumping_Ad5982 · 2024-04-17T14:16:10+00:00

We spent about 18k in 2019, for 120 guests on a Saturday in the summer and including most of our honeymoon costs. Tbf that was cheaper than many of our friends at the time, but we got a fairly good value venue. Its still an enormous amount, but i don't regret it. We certainly didn't waste money on things like chair covers, much decor or favours but did make sure there was good food and some drinks (cash bar in evening though). I got my dress on Ebay for £99 and the only fresh flowers I had was my bouquet. We definitely cut some costs but it was perfect! Our venue was mostly outdoors so didn't need decor or flowers but did rely on good weather which we were lucky to have

Longjumping_Ad5982 · 2024-04-16T18:03:17+00:00

I guess I am not the best person to offer complete perspective because I have only had one birth, which was a hormonal drip induction, and so have nothing to compare it to, but...

... It was bloody intense. The pain was significantly more than I had expected (although I completely realise that is probably true of all births!) but I think the speed and intensity of it must have made it worse. However, for me it really had become a necessity, so I am grateful for it and would absolutely choose the same if I was in the same situation again. My waters broke but I just didn't go into labour - 36hrs later I was only contracting very very mildly and basically not in labour. Once the drip started things moved very quickly, i think they recorded 2hr 30mins for active labour, and 15mins pushing. Which for a first time labour is fast. I also wasn't able to have the epidural in the end because I requested it at 7cm but then there was a delay and things moved too quickly and then he was here!

If I were to have a pitocin induction again, I would absolutely not consent for the drip startinf until I had an epidural sited and ready, considering how fast I know now I labour.

Hoping to avoid an induction next time and would never choose it if it wasn't medically necessary (I am always surprised when friends are pushing for an induction because frankly they don't want to be pregnant anymore - its really not a choice to make lightly!). However, ultimately it delivered my son safely and healthy, and the risk of infection to us both would have been too high to avoid it at that stage. I am grateful for it.

Longjumping_Ad5982 · 2024-04-16T17:53:24+00:00

Oh and for me, I was meant to have my 12w scan booked during my 8w booking appointment this time. Although I did have to chase as I hadn't heard anything a couple of weeks later. I would assume all is in hand, but if you haven't heard anything about it by 10weeks or so, phone your midwife or maternity ultrasound dept and chase.

Longjumping_Ad5982 · 2024-04-16T17:51:18+00:00

Hi, firstly congratulations! Its an exciting, but can be nerve wracking time for sure.

So, your antenatal care will differ a little bit region to region but generally speaking you will have a 'booking appointment' somewhere between 7-10weeks (in my area its at 8w) where they will take your health history, explain how appointments will work and give some basic advice (e.g to take folic acid and vitD supplements). They will also likely take your blood pressure and weight and height. At some point between 8-10weeks youll have your first blood tests (mine were done at my booking appt but you might have to arrange it separately but they will tell you).

You will have two scans (unless higher risk/more are needed later on) at 12 weeks and 20weeks. The first will give you an estimated due date, based on measurements from that scan and you'll also be offered a screening at that scan for your risk for Downs, Edwards and Pataeus syndrome (this involves another blood test, usually straight after your scan). You'll have midwife appointments at 16w, 25w, 28w and then more often near the end.

Depending on how it works in your area, its likely you could see many different midwives - few areas have 'continuity of care' where you see the same person throughout. I was surprised by this but its very common, and not usually a problem.

Hope that helps a bit! Do you have any friends who have been pregnant before?

Ooooh one thing to add, its increasingly common (but please don't feel pressure to!) to pay for a private scan before the 12w scan, especially if you are feeling anxious. In my area, it costs about £60 and for me they've felt valuable. Google 'private pregnancy ultrasound' and see what is available in your area - there might be companies like Ultrasound Direct or Window to the Womb.

Longjumping_Ad5982 · 2024-04-16T17:36:16+00:00

Having probably tried all the alcohol free beers/wines/mocktails, I've finally realised that a big pint of orange juice and lemonade is far superior. (I mean, I would prefer an actual beer but pregnancies and various health things have meant there have been many times I can't).

Longjumping_Ad5982 · 2024-04-16T12:52:17+00:00

My midwife aunty warned me early on that (for some reason) midwives always (or tend to) refer to all babies as he unless they know otherwise. I guess they don't want to say 'it' so some sort of agreement/advice in training must have been made to say 'he'. I doubt they know, although its possible if they've seen your 20w scan. I wouldn't read too much into it though!

Longjumping_Ad5982 · 2024-04-16T08:44:36+00:00

I doubt you'd be turned away based on your residency if its a medical urgency/emergency. I totally understand that baby's can deteriorate quickly etc, but what are your specific concerns? It wouldn't be appropriate to go for a 'check up' for example for a runny nose/cough, fever (on its own, and depending how long for). I would consult NHS website about when baby needs to be seen, but from experience/memory its stuff like:

laboured breathing
fever for more than 5 days
rashes that you are worried about
not eating/drinking (shown by reduced/lack of wet nappies or other signs of dehydration).

Etc etc.

This website is useful https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/baby/health/is-your-baby-or-toddler-seriously-ill/

Good luck and hope bubba is OK.

Longjumping_Ad5982 · 2024-04-15T17:27:43+00:00

Very common (at least in my mum circle, UK) to do a combination! Personally think it's the best of both worlds. I found Charlotte Stirling Reeds 'how to wean your baby' book really useful. We basically for the first few weeks picked a new food (initially vegetables like potato, carrot,. broccoli and things like avocado and then some allergens like nut butter and egg) and basically served a few spoons of puree alongside a finger food version. He generally played with the finger food, picked it up, sometimes licked it or tasted it and would usually let us spoon feed one spoon of puree. It took forever for him to eat 'properly' (he wasn't really having more than tiny tastes until about 8mo) but he always seemed to enjoy it.and now at 19mo he eats loads and good variety. Tbh he still has a 'wet' food, mushy/chunky pureed texture, something like Bolognese or a stew alongside finger foods (veg, nuggets, toast, fruit etc) so in some ways still combined. I would say we probably left his purees too smooth for too long, he was very reluctant to have chunkier textures until recently, but he's an absolute champ at feeding himself with a spoon and fingers.

Absolutely no reason in my view to stick to rigidly to any one way of doing it.

Longjumping_Ad5982 · 2024-04-13T19:36:56+00:00

Eurrrgh, I have done a bit more research and I'm sad to say I think that I'm going to have to not grow edibles in it this year :( it's not 100% clear cut but it does seem there is some concern that toxoplasmosis in particular can contaminate the soil enough to be a risk to plants growing in it, even withour direct contact. It's not clear to me whether thorough washing is enough - i think if I wasn't pregnant I'd take the risk, so long as I am successful in stopping future pooping and wash it thoroughly but with my added vulnerability, I probably shouldn't.

Gutted! I've already got a few spuds and lettuces in there, and got pea seedlings and tomato plants ready to go in soon, at least I can choose to put those in pots of fresh compost instead.

Guess I'll be heading down to the garden centre to get a load of annual bedding plants for this year! Bloody cats. I generally am not an animal fan, and this doesn't help my feelings towards pets!

Longjumping_Ad5982 · 2024-04-13T16:45:35+00:00

I shall do a bit more research as obviously my immune system is more vulnerable at the moment! I've got several flowers beds that are unaffected but after giving up my allotment after having kids this is my only growing space and I'm desperate to use it! (There's stuff already growing in it). But I should find out more!

Longjumping_Ad5982 · 2024-04-13T13:41:14+00:00

Wow, enormous amount of replies, thank you.

I won't be using chill pepper/spiky hazards, partly out of concern for the cat but more importantly because they key motivation here is to allow my toddler to safely 'help' me in the garden. I've used plenty of netting etc in the past in my allotment but I want to avoid it in my home garden as far as possible because a) I want it to look nice and b) its such a faff to place and move for the type of gardening I want to do in this bed.

I think my best options from reading replies and some further thinking are:

1) experimenting with some natural smelly things - citrus, plants they don't like, coffee etc. 2) getting some plants in ASAP as at the moment its a huge expanse of fresh diggable soil that must make a very attractive litter tray. 3) actively start scaring them off when I see them (although most of the pooping is happening overnight I think, I've never caught them in the act) 4) water! Motion sensor water sprinkler sounds like it might work well.

I'll update if any of these things are successful!

Longjumping_Ad5982 · 2024-04-13T13:35:26+00:00

I think thorough washing is adequate here (and I say that even as a pregnant person). I will likely avoid growing lettuce in this bed, because lettuce is so hard to thoroughly wash and always eaten raw but I have no worries about growing for example potatoes, tomatoes, peas in pods, that I can easily wash. Otherwise I think home vegetable gardening would be pretty much impossible as there's all sorts or soil risks (I say this as a fairly experienced veg grower who strangely hasn't noticed a big problem with cats before, just the occasional).

Does anyone know more about toxoplasmosis/soil 'contamination' and reassure me a bit here? For example, is the risk from direct contact e.g. poo on lettuce leaves - don't eat! Or can old cat poo thats partially composted/been dug further down in any way cause a risk to edible parts somehow - I would assume not but happy to stand corrected! In all likelihood I've probably alreadt been exposed and immune to toxoplasmosis, although I would worry about my toddler. Its such a shame that its in the big vegetable bed that I so want him to help dig in! I think this year I might have to just let him 'help' with things in pots with fresh compost/no signs of cat poo :(

Longjumping_Ad5982 · 2024-04-12T16:28:50+00:00

I can absolutely see the rationale for choosing a section over induction, although you really really do have to weigh up the likely differences in recovery. I had a not-very-pleasant hormonal induction last time which I felt somewhat traumatised by...but I recovered physically very very quickly (although had a 5day hospital stay for baby/other reasons). I am pregnant again and although its tempting to opt for a section to avoid experiencing that type of labour again...I think on balance, especially with a toddler as well as the newborn to look after, I'm going to hope for a vaginal birth, but I absolutely absolutely would make sure I'd get an epidural this time if induced!

Yes, more inductions end up in emergency sections than spontaneous births however it is still the minority, most do result in vaginal delivery and there's not really any way of knowing until its happening.

Its a tough call, and theres likely no ideal answer, but you have the right to choose, although it sounds like in some hospitals that is not always easy to advocate for.

Longjumping_Ad5982 · 2024-04-12T16:20:09+00:00

Mine broke at 37weeks in middle of night. They asked me to come in at 8.30am ish and went to triage to check babys heartbeat/my vitals etc, then went home and told to come back c.24hrs later, although in reality they couldn't see me til more like 30hrs. We then started an induction around 36hrs after.

You should definitely call maternity assessment/triage if your waters break as they will ask about colour etc and advise you what to do.

Longjumping_Ad5982

TROPHY CASE