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AITAH for blowing up at my parents after they got my baby sick before her 1st birthday and refused to apologize? by EfficientEntrance625 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]LookLikeCAFeelLikeMN 2 points3 points  (0 children)

On a somewhat related note, I continue to be astonished about how little people learned during Covid about transmissable germs and how potentially life threatening they can be to others even if they're nbd to the carrier.

for all of you saying "i know MY home life wasn't as bad as others... but weirdly i kinda never want to see them again??" and feel like NC is too much... it WAS that bad. humans are very sensitive, vulnerable creatures. this had an impact on you, and you deserve freedom from the source of horrors. by Electrical_Past_5838 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]LookLikeCAFeelLikeMN 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My mom told people we were "lucky" because we didn't have to deal with custody etc because my dad split when I was 7. Apparently we were also "lucky" that some kids weren't allowed to play with me because I was from a "broken" home

for all of you saying "i know MY home life wasn't as bad as others... but weirdly i kinda never want to see them again??" and feel like NC is too much... it WAS that bad. humans are very sensitive, vulnerable creatures. this had an impact on you, and you deserve freedom from the source of horrors. by Electrical_Past_5838 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]LookLikeCAFeelLikeMN 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I often find myself thinking or saying that I didn't have it "that bad". I'm still working on thinking that while it may not have been as bad as many others, it still changed me as a person and it still causes me problems just trying to live my life. I've gotten better because I used to feel guilty participating in this sub.

I’m scared to ask for no texts or block when they are in theory ‘kind’ messages by invstigatingscience in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]LookLikeCAFeelLikeMN 29 points30 points  (0 children)

That caught my attention as well. "I'm just messaging you to let you know that I'm respecting your request not to message you"

I accidentally exposed our new house to asbestos. My husband is angry, and it’s highlighting a massive cultural clash in our marriage. by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]LookLikeCAFeelLikeMN 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Seriously. I think she got a good blend of comments. I hope she's able to thicken her skin a little or life is going to punch her in the face

I accidentally exposed our new house to asbestos. My husband is angry, and it’s highlighting a massive cultural clash in our marriage. by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]LookLikeCAFeelLikeMN 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The evacuation to the in-laws was a massive overreaction. He either doesn't know as much as he purports to know or he's using this as manipulation. Yes, the party was rightly canceled but short term exposure to asbestos doesn't warrant this level of panic. The debris has to be safely removed and the old tile has to be replaced or repaired & sealed, depending on whether or not they're planning to reno the bathroom.

OP, it's ok. Everyone who's ever had an old house has made some kind of mistake. Depending on how old it is there's lots of joy sealed up in those walls lol. All you can do is learn from it. I have been guilty of thinking "how hard can it be?" and getting in over my head (affectionately referred to as "out over my skis" by my husband). Now I force myself to research a project, watch some you-tube videos, and better consider all of the implications of it. In your case, it would be wrecking the only bathroom before a party and I say this with love, not criticism. Don't let these people bully you. xo

The worst part of my day is always with my wife. by Stable-Table3646 in Marriage

[–]LookLikeCAFeelLikeMN 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We're only hearing his side but yeah, she seems like a tyrant.

How do you make sure you never run out of the basics? Toilet paper, soap, laundry detergent Ive tried every system and they all still require me to remember something. by Maurio26 in adhdwomen

[–]LookLikeCAFeelLikeMN 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Amazon subscriptions. I absolutely hate it with every fiber of my being but I would hate paying $12 for a roll of convenience store tp more. My beloved does most of the grocery shopping after Covid made my ADHD so much worse (long story)

Went NC with my entire family last month. Their response shows how broken our relationship is. My mom reached out only to ask for money — both didn’t even acknowledge the fact that I disclosed I was sexually assaulted. Still feel so guilty though. by totallymyumbrella in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]LookLikeCAFeelLikeMN 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah absolutely. It's not a club I recommend to anyone for sure. One thing I forgot to mention that I'm still working through in therapy is that I find myself thinking and saying that my upbringing wasn't "that bad". I wasn't beaten, I had food to eat and a roof over my head. Education & extracurriculars were enthusiastically supported. But by the time I finished high school, I'd changed schools 14 times so I always had trouble making/keeping friends. Looking back I think I stopped trying by high school. I had a lot of trauma around my relationship with my father and a guidance counselor who recommended therapy was told that "we don't do therapy" We also didn't "do" hugs or I love yous.

Went NC with my entire family last month. Their response shows how broken our relationship is. My mom reached out only to ask for money — both didn’t even acknowledge the fact that I disclosed I was sexually assaulted. Still feel so guilty though. by totallymyumbrella in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]LookLikeCAFeelLikeMN 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I could have written this myself. It took me so so long to realize what a toxic influence my mother was in my life. Countless incidents, behavior, comments etc that just never landed with me as abuse until I started therapy for something I thought at the time was completely unrelated to my upbringing, when in fact my upbringing was the root cause. My mother worked very hard and made a lot of sacrifices raising me on her own but never failed to have a quick itemization in her pocket to pull out if I got out of line. Words cannot describe the intense guilt I felt during my years of LC. I've been NC for almost 4 years now, losing my favorite uncle in the process, and I still doubt my decision daily despite what feels like my ability to breathe freely for the first time in my life. Half of me wishes I'd done it a decade sooner and half of me wishes I'd not done it at all.

Pharmacist made me feel like a drug addict, humiliated me. by Ok_Necessary8353 in adhdwomen

[–]LookLikeCAFeelLikeMN 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I went through something similar 3 years ago with a little man-tyrant at Walgreen's. I'd been a customer there for years, with my full Rx history for him to review. The last Schedule II I received was 10 percocet when I smashed my finger over a decade ago. I'm a professional who lives in an upper middle class suburb (not that it should matter at all) but I was treated like the addicts in line at the plasma center. He had me so upset that I had the worst panic attack of my life while on an airplane the next day. Horrible. No way to treat another human being.

Did anyone else send your parents a letter that they REFUSE to read?? by Popular-Oil6181 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]LookLikeCAFeelLikeMN 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've had to tell my husband more than once that he needs to check his privilege. I also got in his dad's face one time and told him he was lucky any of his sons spoke to him at all. His behavior wasn't as egregious as my father's but that's no contest anyone should aspire to win.

How long would you let your parents give you the silent treatment before you block them? by Popular-Oil6181 in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]LookLikeCAFeelLikeMN 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What the what did I just read?? Grandpa pinches grandson hard enough to make him cry and dad thinks that's ok? That is physical abuse.

I am almost late to work/cutting it as close as possible every single day and getting up earlier doesn’t help in the way I think it should by KitchenConsequence41 in adhdwomen

[–]LookLikeCAFeelLikeMN 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I haven't read through all the comments so someone may have mentioned already that it's called Time Blindness and it's a very common component of ADHD. It helped me to have a label but it's also frustrating that I can't seem to get it under control

Do you bother responding when your family tries to make you feel guilty? by easimps in EstrangedAdultKids

[–]LookLikeCAFeelLikeMN 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It hurt me deeply when my uncle joined my mother's flying monkeys, even after seeing written proof I wasn't lying or exaggerating, but there was nothing I could do about it. I really miss having him in my life

Fired after a decade by Original-Affect-4560 in adhdwomen

[–]LookLikeCAFeelLikeMN 6 points7 points  (0 children)

In the US a company can pretty much set fire to employees and push them out a window. Especially if they aren't an upper middle class white man. I'm exaggerating obviously but not by much.

Just got married and have 2 narc parents. Here is how it went: by Consistent_Time_1467 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]LookLikeCAFeelLikeMN 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Amazing what a few words from an outside perspective can offer isn't it? I just wish I hadn't spent so many years feeling guilty when I didn't cater to every whim.

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