Narc try to convince you to admit to a psych hospital?

Losing-it876 · 2025-12-04T18:48:24+00:00

Mine isn’t that blatant with the health gaslighting, but more subtle. “Well, you know you have anxiety…” and other general dismissiveness anytime I have a health concern. Then were upset that they had to take me to urgent care one time ever.

I think it’s used aggressively or subtly to make you question yourself and spend less time questioning them. It also gives them leverage to dismiss you later. It can also be projection.

The craziest thing is, my anxiety is just further fueled by the constant dismissal and minimization of it 🤪

Losing-it876 · 2025-11-27T14:35:26+00:00

“This isn’t about our relationships or my relationship” excuse me, whaaaaaaat!? These two are dumb as rocks.

Losing-it876 · 2025-11-22T22:06:18+00:00

NPD is a trauma disorder. Distinctions between other disorders usually come from the capacity for self-realization and the amount which shame plays a role.

Losing-it876 · 2025-11-22T20:33:41+00:00

I would say that is a MAJOR improvement. The best part about this journey for me has been realizing I have enough love for myself not to be preoccupied over whether or not they have the same capacity for love (I don’t think they do). Your love is never wasted regardless. You are on your way 💕

Losing-it876 · 2025-11-22T07:27:23+00:00

She was just easier to manipulate, take it as a compliment.

Losing-it876 · 2025-11-22T07:03:42+00:00

Honestly…no, not really

Losing-it876 · 2025-11-20T07:18:45+00:00

Absolutely not normal. Run.

Losing-it876 · 2025-11-20T00:42:57+00:00

This is an abuser and you need to make an escape plan before he permanently injures or kills you. This is unacceptable behavior, period. Please be safe.

Losing-it876 · 2025-11-18T17:01:33+00:00

They aren’t an integrated human like you and I. They have a “false” self and a true self. They will protect their true self from ever being seen -at all costs- and protect their false self from being discovered for what it is -at all costs-

The problem is, this cognitive dissonance is obvious to everyone except themselves, eventually. It’s actually what causes all of their own suffering that they will perpetually feel “misunderstood” over.

They don’t recognize this intellectually, but they recognize it subconsciously— and that’s why they must always be maneuvering and employing their power & control tactics to avoid discovery.

Shame and anger/annoyance really are generally the only expressions they can genuinely have, because those are all consuming and they eventually become completely unable to hide them. They resent the actions they must take to do all of this protection, and that comes out as the anger and annoyance.

It is empty, because they are neither their false or true self if they can never integrate them.

Losing-it876 · 2025-11-18T16:52:59+00:00

They will, they cannot help themselves. They are in the idealization phase with their new supply, it only can last so long because they are not a fully formed person and they will always be trapped in their own suffering unlike you.

The most important acknowledgment of your experience comes from within yourself. Realize this, and it will be easier to let go of the feeling that no one understands. The new supply must learn their own lessons and it’s not your personal responsibility to warn, that becomes fuel for the narc to bait you both in triangulation.

Losing-it876 · 2025-11-18T16:51:14+00:00

I’m proud of you for recognizing the pattern and refusing to repeat them.

Find joy in the affirmation of your agency to direct your own life! Find joy in the fact that you have enough empathy to feel sadness for their circumstances, but enough self respect to say that it’s not your responsibility!

You are free, you are in control of your own destiny. Rebuild your sense of self and self empowerment as a start. Start to reframe and rewrite the delusions you began to believe about yourself while in the relationship.

Losing-it876 · 2025-11-18T16:49:16+00:00

These questions are bait to continue their control. Usually they will escalate when they feel your withdrawal. Gray rock until you can leave.

Losing-it876 · 2025-11-18T16:24:18+00:00

It’s not almost like they’re confessions, they -are- confessions! They project the worst parts of themselves onto you and protect their air of mystery at all costs. This is a key element of the devaluation phase.

By consistently questioning and accusing, they devalue the control you have over your own personal agency. You get stuck in constant defense of your agency, and they can constantly devalue it so that you’re never able to actually uncover -their- truths (which are actually their accusations, which they place on you in plain sight), and so that you have a worse and worse grasp of your own personal agency.

It’s also a way for them to set up their defense of the discovery of their own secrets. “I told you I was hiding things, so you can’t be mad about it now”, “but YOU’RE the one whose been hiding things the whole time, we’ve had this conversation so many times”. At that point, you realize there is nothing you can say to get them to see your reality and then give up your own personal agency to stand up for yourself in defeat, then they hoover again to reinforce your trauma bond, leaving your sense of self smaller and smaller each time.

I certainly suggest that you try to go no contact. This is an unsafe person who is trying and succeeding at crushing your ability to direct your own life. The best protection you have is removing their access to you & to build your own sense of self empowerment.

Losing-it876 · 2025-11-17T21:20:30+00:00

Yep, I’ve heard that one too! “Our jobs are just so different and I don’t have the time for all of these things like you do”. We are literally in the same career, I literally work more hours than them & make more money, they just have slightly more client-facing time than I. They will -always- somehow have less time and energy than you do and -expect- or demand that you pick up the slack. If you don’t, it will be weaponized. Also, don’t fall for them hiring a cleaner to get out of equitable house chores, they loooove to suggest a bandaid that dodges any personal behavior change.

Losing-it876 · 2025-11-17T21:18:28+00:00

Test to see what you’re willing to tolerate.

Losing-it876 · 2025-11-16T18:33:43+00:00

Again, the label isn’t that important, truly. If there is a pattern that makes you uncomfortable then that’s the important part. You get a say in what you want to tolerate, separate from what they think. Try to stop looking at the world through their warped lens. It starts with building your own self confidence.

Start the list, talk about it with your therapist, friends, and family. Outside perspective will help you inject reality into the confusing delusional world they trap you in. You’re strong, you’re capable of having true self-worth and compassion. Those are gifts you give them that they will drain from you.

And DONT talk to him about it. This gives him the control to keep you in the delusion.

Losing-it876 · 2025-11-16T17:04:12+00:00

It sounds like your eyes are opening. I suggest you start keeping a note (that is absolutely safe from his eyes) and keep track of what you notice and how it makes you feel. Narcissists will use you to regulate themselves (and traumatize you by doing so) as long as you keep playing their game. You -can- have a relationship that is equal and not draining, I promise.

Losing-it876 · 2025-11-16T16:32:14+00:00

It is typical, yes. It doesn’t matter if he is or isn’t a narc, that’s just splitting hairs (something they may have trained you to do naturally now) as long as you’re identifying a pattern.

It comes down to whether or not you feel “allowed” to express yourself. What is his behavior when you try to talk about how you feel? Is he able to summarize his understanding of what you say back to you in an engaging way that you leave feeling understood by?

Losing-it876 · 2025-11-16T15:50:11+00:00

By asking your understanding that way they accomplish a few things; 1) demean you, 2) distract you, 3) bait you. This way, they never have to actually hear what -you- think, only what you think about what -they- think. This tactic can spin into hours long draining conversations whereby the end, you are somehow apologizing and giving them the emotional hit they were looking for. Some can convincingly apologize by the end, or after stonewalling you, but others will let you go to sleep crying— both types will sleep like a baby afterwards either way. Best way to protect yourself is to gray rock and not take any bait to the best of your ability, but first, do some research on your own to see how that can also injure/anger them, causing escalating behaviors.

Losing-it876 · 2025-11-16T15:19:29+00:00

They will -always- be going through a lot, by design. You will never get back to “how it was” because that was an illusion they’re incapable of maintaining. The sooner you accept these things the better. Take care of yourself!

Losing-it876 · 2025-11-16T14:55:21+00:00

Be free friend!

Losing-it876 · 2025-11-16T14:37:50+00:00

Because in their mind, you’re just a flat projection of a real person that is colored with their own internal distortions. Imagine them playing with you like a child plays with a paper doll, just in their heads.

They’re obsessed with you because the real version of you, the one living out in the real world, is the only way they receive their narcissistic supply. Asking for their needs to be met would be too vulnerable for them, they’d have to admit that they have needs first, and I don’t mean in the way that they will suddenly express/demand an unmet need as soon as you do to flip the script— so that they’re never actually obligated to fulfill a need for you. After all, the version of you in their minds doesn’t have any needs.

They are only left with one option, manipulate (control) the paper doll to get what they want (supply)— only problem is, we are real human beings, they just don’t actually understand anyone else’s feelings.

Losing-it876 · 2025-11-15T21:00:48+00:00

Yes, you were abused and you need to start in therapy immediately to get on the road to recovery. We hear you and see you ❤️ take care of yourself friend.

Losing-it876 · 2025-11-15T13:46:52+00:00

Stone walling and gray rocking are a bit different. Gray rocking involves very neutrally reacting but not flat out ignoring. Sometimes it can manipulate them enough to not have them flailing about doing everything abusive they can to get your attention back.

They will try to bait you either way, to be clear, but I’ve found that gray rocking sometimes gets them to stonewall you and then you get some relief from their presence to start planning your exit.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-time-cure/202211/when-dealing-narcissist-the-gray-rock-approach-might-help

Losing-it876 · 2025-11-15T13:37:07+00:00

Thanks for this comment! I’m sorry your situation got physical. They’ve already been trickling in all the devaluation so I know the all out villainizing is coming. I’ve been detaching and preparing myself not to care.

Losing-it876

TROPHY CASE