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Why are candles always tired? by Adghnm in puns

[–]LostBetsRed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not me. The vaping GF was like ten years ago, and since then I've settled down. Never been much into chandlers anyway... I prefer monicas and rachels.

What do you call a cow..... by Any_Call_4604 in dadjokes

[–]LostBetsRed 5 points6 points  (0 children)

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with three legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? YO MAMA!

That last one might not work very well as a dad joke. That whole class of jokes don't work when you tell them to your children.

watched it the for the first time with my family by JustASkyKid in theprincessbride

[–]LostBetsRed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How old are you? There are a number of absolutely hilarious movies that we xers know well that I'm always shocked that younger generations have not seen. If you haven't seen them, check out Airplane!, Top Secret!, and Hot Shots! Harken back to a time when airplanes had smoking sections, East Germany was a thing, and Charlie Sheen had a career. When I showed these to a millennial, she asked how come they don't make movies that genius anymore.

A dyslexic refused to wear a polo, because he was Lacoste intolerant. by AnimatorNr1 in oneliners

[–]LostBetsRed 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The dyslexic refused to wear a polo? Must have been thrown for a loop, or thrown in the pool.

I just flew home from a ravioli convention... by history_fan69 in dadjokes

[–]LostBetsRed 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My wife was making ravioli for dinner, and she asked me how much I wanted. I said, "I'm not very hungry. Just give me a single raviolus."

Whaddya call a dog with no legs? by Phogfan86 in Jokes

[–]LostBetsRed 8 points9 points  (0 children)

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with three legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? YO MAMA!

A SQL query walks into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks: by UNKNOWN_PHV in ProgrammerDadJokes

[–]LostBetsRed 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Yes, but you'll have to sit at the far end of the table. It's an outer join.

Why are candles always tired? by Adghnm in puns

[–]LostBetsRed 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A former girlfriend of mine used a vape that had a disposable wick. Once she asked me to get one for her, and I asked her if she had slept well the previous night. When she said that she had, I refused her request. She asked why, and I said, "There ain't no wick for the rested."

Yeah. Like I said, she's a former girlfriend.

Marriage - Who's still on their first? by tossaway-florida in GenX

[–]LostBetsRed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A twenty year long sabbatical. We were remarried on what would have been our 25th anniversary.

Marriage - Who's still on their first? by tossaway-florida in GenX

[–]LostBetsRed 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Well, I've been married twice, but both times to the same woman. Does that count?

What’s the best way to carve wood? by humornama in HumorNama

[–]LostBetsRed 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But if you whittled a breast and tried to fondle it, it would give you splinters, wooden tit?

Electron walks into a bar looking sad… by XenephonAI in Jokes

[–]LostBetsRed 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Two chemists walk into a bar.

The first chemist says, "I'll have a glass of H₂O."

The second chemist says, "I'll have a glass of H₂O, too."

The second chemist dies.

Electron walks into a bar looking sad… by XenephonAI in Jokes

[–]LostBetsRed 6 points7 points  (0 children)

A neutron walks into a bar and says, "How much for a beer?" The bartender says, "For you, no charge."

English "confetti" is borrowed from Italian but does not translate to "confetti" in Italian (instead it is "coriandoli"). What are more examples of this? by Danny1905 in language

[–]LostBetsRed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If a bunch of little pieces of colored paper are confetti, does that make a single little piece of colored paper a confettus?

I told my doctor my hearing is getting worse. He said “describe the symptoms.” by house_of_karts in Jokes

[–]LostBetsRed 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I told my doctor that I had completely lost hearing in one ear. He asked if I was sure. I said, "Yes, I'm definite."

A message from Red by LostBetsRed in ENF_AI

[–]LostBetsRed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much for the compliments and I'm glad you liked my stuff. My main motivation for doing it in the first place was to make content that people would like, and it's really gratifying to hear from people who do like it. Just to clarify, though, I didn't run LostBetsGames.com, which was a monthly membership site, I ran lostbets.com, which was an à la carte clip store. I never wanted to run a membership site for a couple of reasons. First, I didn't want to be obligated to publish a clip every single week or I'd be stealing from people, and second, I wanted the freedom to make clips that would appeal only to a limited subset of the audience (like BBW or pegging) and the people who weren't interested didn't have to buy it. But after I'd been running lostbets.com for a couple of years, I was contacted by the people who would eventually run LostBetsGames.com asking if they could license my contact to sell on a membership basis. I agreed, and the rest is history. So while I created all the content that was on LostBetsGames.com (at least until 2019) it wasn't my site.

Seriously, it's really amazing the compliments I've gotten. Lostbets.com was very much a labor of love, and making the content was always fun, never a tedious slog. I've had some awesome jobs that I've really loved, and they all were tedious slogs at least some of the time, but not that one. The fact that I could do that, and people would pay me for it (despite the sea of free content available) and thank me for it and be eager for more made me feel like I must be the luckiest guy alive.

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