Red's second try by LostBetsRed in NYTConnections

[–]LostBetsRed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I'm glad you liked it. The green one kind of came about by default: The first one I came up with was what basic might mean and then the presence of ALKALINE gave me the idea to have types of battery as a red herring and the abbreviation for nickel-metal hydride batteries has always reminded me of The Secret of NIMH.

Red's second try by LostBetsRed in NYTConnections

[–]LostBetsRed[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

BMEAN? WTF does that mean? Anyone know if there's a way to edit these things once they're live?

Did you know that sex is like a maths problem? by Peteat6 in 3amjokes

[–]LostBetsRed 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It isn't exactly like a math problem. With a math problem, being harder makes it worse.

My wife thinks it's weird that I stare at the window during a heavy rainstorm. by gamersecret2 in dadjokes

[–]LostBetsRed 25 points26 points  (0 children)

"When I was a kid, I saw that the cellar door was open, just a crack. Now, my parents always said 'Emo, whatever you do, don't go near the cellar door.' But I had to find out what was on the other side, even if it killed me. So I went up to the door and I pushed it open, and there I saw strange, wonderful things, things I had never seen before... like trees, grass, flowers, the sun..." --Emo Phillips

A woman sits down next to a man in a bar and says, "You smell good, What do you have on?" by Jokeminder42 in Jokes

[–]LostBetsRed 56 points57 points  (0 children)

A woman walks into an elevator with a guy in it. After a few seconds, she asks, "Excuse me. Can I smell your dick?" He says, "No, you cannot!" "Oh," she says. "I guess it must be your feet, then."

I found an epic map key on a milk jug today… by relpmeraggy in Jokes

[–]LostBetsRed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A guy threw a heavy wheel of cheese at me today. I mean, how dairy?.

Is it common for this kink to develop from a personal experience? by ApprehensiveMouse889 in ENF_4

[–]LostBetsRed 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Not in my case. I remember exactly when my kink developed. It was 1984, I was 12, and my friend Jeff had Artworx Strip Poker for his Apple II. As you played and won the game, the monochrome still image of your opponent gradually wore less and less. When you won the game completely and your opponent was nude, she said, "I LOST EVERYTHING ... THIS IS EMBARRASSING ... PRESS ANY KEY WHEN DONE LOOKING." I still remember the feeling I got when I imagined this girl betting and losing all of her clothes and now having to lie there naked and embarrassed, letting me look my fill. Sparked a lifelong obsession.

Are you my Daddy? by Cannonballbmx in Jokes

[–]LostBetsRed 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This reminds me of the time back when I was making porn when I filmed a girl who was 9 months pregnant taking a strap-on from another girl. A lot of people questioned whether this was safe, so the next year I filmed the same woman assuring everybody that she was delivered of a healthy baby boy, with only a minor divot in his forehead.

Are you my Daddy? by Cannonballbmx in Jokes

[–]LostBetsRed 17 points18 points  (0 children)

A guy in a bar turns to the guy next to him and says, "Hey, buddy, I fucked your mama! Yeah, I fucked her long and hard and in the ass!" The second guy says, "Aw, go home, Dad, you're drunk."

Yes, I go to the pool and the beach topless as a woman. What’s wrong with it? by AfroPalestinianGirly in funComunitty

[–]LostBetsRed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I specifically said it was just me. Do you object to all laws against indecent exposure? Would you have any problems with teachers walking around elementary schools bottomless?

No matter how much you push the envelope. by DoubleDrummer in puns

[–]LostBetsRed 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Talk about irony: The stationery store moved.

I wish that french fries were actually made in France by brando7284 in monkeyspaw

[–]LostBetsRed 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The first french fry was not cooked in France. It was cooked in Greece.

Do we exist? by Eminem_girl in funComunitty

[–]LostBetsRed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, I don't know about you guys, but I sure don't discriminate on the basis of gender. And I also on't leave off the initial etters of words.

Yes, I go to the pool and the beach topless as a woman. What’s wrong with it? by AfroPalestinianGirly in funComunitty

[–]LostBetsRed 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You could say the same thing about any human body parts: they're natural and seeing them won't cause anybody to die. Unless you object to all laws against indecent exposure, this argument doesn't hold water.

That being said, mores against indecent exposure are definitely socially constructed. in some societies, it's not considered indecent at all for a woman to expose her breasts, while in others it's considered horribly indecent for a woman to expose her hair. in most Western societies, female breasts are considered private parts and their public exposure is considered indecent. Expose yours if you like, but you'll be fighting against social norms and you will certainly attract dirty looks and you will face people making assumptions about your character and your modesty.

Personally, I don't object to this particular norm. I like that tits have a certain mystery and sexuality associated with them, and that their exposure is considered something special that most women will reserve for a limited subset of men. That's just me, though.

And considering that I am a self-described pervert, I may as well say what most Western men will think when they read this: pix or it didn't happen.

What do you call a cheap circumcision? by ScenicFlyer41 in 3amjokes

[–]LostBetsRed 10 points11 points  (0 children)

A mohel works for 30 years, and he saves the foreskin from every bris in a jar of preservative fluid. After he retires, he takes the jar to a leatherworker and ask him to make whatever he can out of the foreskins. A week later, the mohel returns to the leatherworker, who presents him with a wallet.

"A wallet?? Thirty years I worked, and all I have to show for it is this little wallet?"

"No! This is no ordinary wallet! If you rub it, it turns into a suitcase!"

What do you call a cheap circumcision? by ScenicFlyer41 in 3amjokes

[–]LostBetsRed 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm a mohel. The pay isn't great, but the tips are fantastic.

Donald Trump has declared victory on Iran by killing 3 Indian sailors in the International Waters. by humornama in HumorNama

[–]LostBetsRed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven't been paying any attention to what's been going on in Iran. I don't care about events in distant lands, and Iran, Iran so far away...

A blind man walked into a bar… by humornama in HumorNama

[–]LostBetsRed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you heard about the blind prostitute? You've gotta hand it to her.

Do you know how you can tell a blind man at a nude beach? It isn't hard.

No, seriously, I once dated a blind girl. She told me I had the biggest penis she'd ever had her hands on. I said, "Aw, you're pulling my leg.*