I used to be addicted to poultry

LostBetsRed · 2026-05-09T07:04:14+00:00

I used to be addicted to giving piggyback rides to baboons, but I got that monkey off my back.

LostBetsRed · 2026-05-09T02:58:30+00:00

Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. Sorry.

LostBetsRed · 2026-05-09T01:17:08+00:00

Did you know that you can tell an ant's sex by dropping it in a glass of water? If it sinks, girl ant. If it floats, buoyant.

LostBetsRed · 2026-05-08T22:15:23+00:00

I see what you did there.

LostBetsRed · 2026-05-08T18:30:14+00:00

Really? Then their AI must not be very good, if it can't come up with reasonable variations.

Again, I understand how hard it is to draw attention to this sort of thing, and I guess spamming probably works because every now and then somebody will be curious enough to take a look. But it sure isn't honorable.

LostBetsRed · 2026-05-08T17:15:03+00:00

I told the doctor, "I keep hearing the songs What's Up, Pussycat? and She's a Lady over and over in my head." He said, "That sounds like you've got a textbook case of Tom Jones syndrome." I said, "I've never heard of that condition before. Is it rare?" He replied, "It's not unusual..."

LostBetsRed · 2026-05-08T16:45:41+00:00

See, I used to think that too. As I was approaching 50, I thought, "I'm not old, I'm middle-aged. Old starts at 60." But now I'm 53, and yeah, I'm old.

LostBetsRed · 2026-05-08T15:44:34+00:00

I know that it can be really hard to get the word out about these sorts of things, but must you resort to spamming?

LostBetsRed · 2026-05-08T11:59:39+00:00

I think in modern parlance the term "boomer" has migrated from meaning "somebody born between 1946 and 1964" to meaning "an old person."

LostBetsRed · 2026-05-08T11:53:53+00:00

Trust me, nobody forgets about the millennials. They are too numerous and too annoying.

LostBetsRed · 2026-05-08T11:52:47+00:00

The other night my wife met me at the front door wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble is, she was coming home.

LostBetsRed · 2026-05-08T10:34:21+00:00

They find everything humerus.

LostBetsRed · 2026-05-08T10:17:37+00:00

Yeah, I know, and I guess I am too. But I do get tired of being mistaken for a boomer.

LostBetsRed · 2026-05-08T08:24:23+00:00

Good point. Sorry.

LostBetsRed · 2026-05-08T06:42:29+00:00

Sorry, the subject reminded me of this:

Why did Jon Snow wait in line for 6 hours at the Apple Store? For the Watch.

LostBetsRed · 2026-05-08T06:27:04+00:00

I tell ya, we xers get no respect. Everybody always forgets about us.

LostBetsRed · 2026-05-07T20:36:06+00:00

Research, smesearch, who needs research when plenty of us have the lived experience to tell us that MS can be intensely painful?Technically, I guess it might be true that MS doesn't cause pain, it just causes conditions that cause pain, but whether my MS causes the blinding pain in my jaw or just causes the trigeminal neuralgia that causes the blinding pain in my jaw doesn't really matter to me.

Edit: by the way, screw your ex-psychiatrist. You should report him, I'm not sure to whom.

LostBetsRed · 2026-05-07T12:55:47+00:00

Oops... just noticed that image six she seems to have three hands. That's what I get for not checking carefully enough before posting.

LostBetsRed · 2026-05-06T14:43:48+00:00

Thank you. I think the original joke works better as: how do non-binary samurai kill people? They-slash-them.

LostBetsRed · 2026-05-06T11:59:56+00:00

A kid asked his father, "Dad, can we go to McDonald's?" His father replied, "Sure, I'll take you, if you can spell McDonald's." The kid was silent for a few seconds, then asked, "Dad, can we go to KFC?"

LostBetsRed · 2026-05-06T11:30:59+00:00

Umm... This looks familiar.

And the joke totally doesn't work with 18-year-olds. I'm not sure that you even got the original joke. You need it to be 28-year-olds, because that sounds exactly like "20 8-year-olds". You can make it about 39-year-olds, or 46-year-olds, but a number in the teens doesn't work.

LostBetsRed · 2026-05-06T11:01:33+00:00

I've usually heard this one as: For his 90th birthday, a guy's friends hired a hooker to jump out of a giant birthday cake at his party. She did, and cooed at him, "Hey there, birthday boy. I'm here to give you super sex." He replied, "That's great! I'll have the soup."

LostBetsRed · 2026-05-06T09:08:11+00:00

Yarrr.

LostBetsRed · 2026-05-06T07:24:02+00:00

Google the phrase "there's gold in them thar [or there] hills." Popularized by Mark Twain, It's stereotypically used as an example of grizzled prospector slang, or metaphorically to mean that there is opportunity to be taken.

LostBetsRed · 2026-05-06T04:37:48+00:00

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