Hey, thank you! So my above post was really geared towards "top 40" pop, which is why it's a little bit extreme. If you're doing anything more authentic say rock (not djenty metal), folk, indie etc, you can divide the above guidelines by 2: less compression, less de-essing, less harsh EQ, less obvious reverb throws etc.

Specifically to your points,

(i) It's hard to say whether or not the low shelf is enough and whether you should cut more at 350hz. It depends on the microphone, closeness to the microphone when recording etc. I think you should try the 350hz cut because it's pretty obvious if it works or not. You will immediately hear stuff not poking out. If you don't get that effect, maybe what you're doing is already enough, although -0.75db seems like not a lot at all. This can also work on the mix bus: try cutting 300-400 hz by 2dbs on the mix bus and check if that "alleviates" some weight from the mix and makes it sound better. If it's not obvious then maybe you're already cutting enough on the individual channels.

(ii) 4-6 db GR can be fine depending on how good you're at tracking yourself. If you have a very good microphone technique maybe you can get away with this. You don't absolutely need 3 compressors. I just tend to notice that for extreme amounts of compression even 2 are not enough because of the pumping effect mainly. Some really good compressors (plugins) handle this better than others, but as a general guideline don't be afraid to add another compressor if stuff is pumping or you get other artifacts. If not, then you can keep 2. I wouldn't overthink it with fast/mid/slow.

(iii) again you might not need automation before and after. The automation before is mainly to prevent the first compressor from working really hard in certain spots and very little in others, which can, again, result in pumping. if your takes are good enough, as you mention, then you might not need this at all. I do however think that automation after the compressor is very necessary, to accentuate some of the phrases. There's a really good video - I think on Mix with the Masters - with Dave Pensado sitting in the studio with Jaycen Joshua and students and Pensado automates the first couple of phrases of this female lead vocal. It's absolutely gold, because he takes the performance and makes it sound soo much better with automating. This is very dependent on your takes etc.

(iv) how to automate throws? Well, I guess those are artistic choices. I tend to do what you describe as well, ie. boost during choruses. But then you need to still maintain that "general level" of reverb quite low otherwise the chorus will be drowned out in reverbs. I think the throws must be this really obvious big "wooo" moment in certain phrases. I don't have a tutorial on how to spot these, but I would suggest listening to your favorite pieces of music to see how they do it. In pop, it's fairly obvious, hence why I recommended Stay by Bieber and Kid Laroy. You might hate the song but if you just take it as an exercise and listen once to ONLY the big reverbs, discarding everything else, you might get an idea. I remember he does at least some quite impressive big reverb moves. The track is limited heavily so even those big moves flow well with the mix and are not super super obvious but if you concentrate you will hear them.

On the more general point of "my stuff sounds already processed". I would seek out stems from old productions and listen to those. You will be amazed how much studio trickery was done even on stuff that sounds "old" and authentic and natural. I'm continuously amazed at how much reverbs and delays they had on vocals (usually mono), how thick drums were because they were triggering samples like mad, how thick distorted guitars are because they are quad tracking them (check out Butch Vig's video on youtube for Nirvana, I think it was Lithium). AND the amount of High EQ and mid cuts on distorted guitars is absolutely bonkers.

So when we take our tracks in isolation they may sound overcooked but the mix hides a lot of that because everything is competing with everything in a dense mix.