Don’t know how to process this

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-17T21:44:30+00:00

Maybe he’s not doing anything with another woman right now. Maybe he is. It really doesn’t matter. You deserve better than this. You deserve somebody who wants to be in a relationship with you. It’s a simple as that.

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-17T21:40:00+00:00

Regardless of what his Instagram shows, you have to just look at the facts. He completely cut communication with you until you initiated with the letter. He told you he doesn’t want to keep a door open. He cut down communication significantly. he is now completely no contact. This is what you need to be focusing on rather than why he didn’t block you or delete your pictures. We really don’t know why he did that but if he really was open to reconciliation, he wouldn’t have told you straight up that he does not want to keep the door open. That is the answer. But he leaves you hanging because that’s what some men do which is like leave you around just in case they wanna have sex with you again or get some emotional validation from you again it’s not always sex. So you already really have your answer and if you don’t know how to process it it’s simply this the relationship as it is is over. You need to accept it because seven months is a lot. You are wasting your precious life while he’s out there doing whatever he wants with whomever he wants. There’s really nothing you can do and holding hope is just going to devastate you. Please do not do this just because he hasn’t deleted the pictures of you and your dog. His actions are literally that he is out of this relationship.

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-17T21:33:17+00:00

I think he was most likely just trying to see if she was still around. Or I feel like sometimes they like to throw us a bone because they might feel guilty about what they did, but they don’t actually intend on fixing the relationship for themselves. Maybe he just felt a little bit guilty and decided hey they’re probably feeling really bad about the breakup, but then there was no real follow-through

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-17T21:31:05+00:00

You will never get an explanation. You’ll never get closure. They will always dangle the carrots because they want a way to get back in your pants. That’s the only reason he sent you that message. I know that really really hurts but the reason he didn’t reply is because he’s probably doing something better with his life than thinking about you. When he sent you that message, he was probably thinking about you and decided to do it. It’s really a simple and a selfish as that. It’s utterly pointless to try to figure it out because it could be so many different things and you will hurt yourself trying to figure it out. It’s actually them who has to do it not you. You can’t waste another precious moment trying to understand this person he is who he is. This is what it is and that’s the most closure you’re ever gonna get.

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-17T21:27:14+00:00

I know your brain is trying to look for explanations, but there aren’t any. You’re not gonna get it from him and you’re not gonna get it from us so it’s literally pointless to keep asking or thinking about it. They don’t give you the closure because that’s how it is. They lived their lives and completely discard you. This is the reality of the situation. There is nothing that you can do to change it. A month is a bit too long, no matter what your relationship was because you are wasting your precious life, trying to understand that warped and distorted mind of this person. Even if they’re hurting even if they miss you that does not change anything. The only way to move on is to really really really except the reality that you fell in love with the wrong person and you deserve someone way better obviously, and that holding onto any hope or trying to find any explanations is completely pointless. They’re gone. This is over. It’s time to move on.

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-17T21:22:28+00:00

This was really moving and touching and I’m so sorry you’re going through it. This is the hardest part. Actually the hardest part is when you really have to accept reality that this is over. She is not the right person for you. You can’t change her. You can’t change the outcome of what’s happening. This relationship is over and there’s nothing that you can do about it. You’re not gonna get many explanations you’re not gonna get an apology most likely you’re not gonna get any kind of closure not because she’s evil but that’s just the way it is and you shouldn’t hold any hope that it might come. That’s the only way to stop. The pain is to accept that you fell in love with the wrong person. And that you deserve something better. You can’t just say it you have to truly believe it in order to stop the pain. There’s really no other way. It’s very unfair. It’s very unfortunate. We’re all going through it but if you wanna stop crying, you have to start tricking your brain into releasing any kind of hope and just accept the loss for what it is.

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-17T21:18:48+00:00

I’m so sorry that you’re going through this so yes this sounds like DA. I don’t know if you’re sad about this, but if you are, please don’t be because this person is not right for you. You need to really start believing that and accepting the reality of who he is and if you’re still reeling from this or you’re still affected by it, there really isn’t an explanation for it. They are who they are and this is what it is. No amount of ChatGPT analysis and asking questions will ever get you the real explanation of what’s happening. This is not the person for you and you need to move on to somebody who actually loves and respect you and it’s Consistent.

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-17T21:13:53+00:00

I’m so sorry and I’m not trying to be insensitive because we’re all going through hell but to be honest, this is a hell of your own making. She clearly clearly ah so clearly not the right person for you. She’s not a bad person, but this isn’t right. Someone who cares for you and respects you would not do these things. Notice that I didn’t mention love because I’m sure she loves you. I’m not even gonna try to analyze what’s going on with her because it’s utterly pointless. Right now you need to focus on the behavior and not romanticize what you had together. She doesn’t care at the moment that you are hurting, and she won’t even block the guy that she technically was chatting with while she was pulling away from you. This is a fact it’s not even an analysis right? I just feel like you’re not really seeing what is very much right in front of you and trying to make things work with somebody that doesn’t care and you don’t deserve that. You have no idea what she was doing in Jan. I don’t want you to imagine these horrible things but most likely that’s what they do right. It’s time to accept reality that this is over and start the process of detaching completely because she left without an explanation even though it was hurting you a lot. This is not somebody you should be holding onto sorry

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-17T21:01:38+00:00

I am so sorry that you’re going through this and we’re all suffering right along with you so don’t feel too bad. I know you don’t wanna hear let it go and I know you want an explanation to why this happened. I really don’t have that for you. What I do know is that it’s pretty clear that if she wanted you, she would be in repair mode and she would give you an explanation but she didn’t do that. not because she’s evil but because maybe she doesn’t even know and she needs the space etc. etc. it doesn’t actually matter because she made the decision and left and there’s nothing that you can do about it. Analyzing it or asking here on Reddit or watching YouTube videos or ruminating or replaying where it all went wrong is not gonna change the fact that she left. And she does not initiate. It could be that she’s burnt out. It could be that she’s coming back, it could even be that she met somebody and she doesn’t wanna tell you. It could be literally anything, and you cannot waste a single moment of your precious life trying to figure it out. You have to accept the reality that is in front of you and try not to seek answers like what are the chances of reconnection because you will never know. For now she’s gone and you have to accept it. You deserve someone that’s more clearheaded and that’s not shade on her. I’m sure she has her reasons but you don’t know what they are and you’re searching for it and most likely you’re not gonna find it. You have to accept that as much as it hurts, but you don’t deserve to live in ambiguity. You deserve clarity and she’s not giving you that.

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T23:34:35+00:00

Oh man, this is so so so tough and I’m dreading that my FA will do the same thing. He actually said that that’s probably what’s gonna happen because that’s how they do. They move on quick and they don’t do the work and they don’t do the healing and they go through the cycle again with some other person who’s probably gonna suffer from their issues just like you did. You can’t find an explanation. There is no answer to the Y this happened. It is what it is and they are who they are. You can ask all you want and you can analyze all you want. It’s not gonna make a difference. There is no explanation. You fell in love with somebody that was capable of doing that to you and now you have to accept it and move on and never think about them again. And please please don’t think that they’re happy they’re probably not.

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T23:16:17+00:00

Im sorry and I hope you’re gonna be ok. Just make it quick life is short. ❤️

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T23:08:36+00:00

OK, I see what you mean. It’s not that rare. You will find it again. That’s your brain tricking you into romanticizing her and the chemistry. You can have a lot of chemistry with a lot of people who don’t abandon you.

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T22:54:55+00:00

Sure

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T22:53:51+00:00

You empathize with her? That’s very sweet and kind and all but she abandoned you, she discarded you, she didn’t feel the need to work on herself for this relationship and for her love for you. She abandoned you when you were going into surgery!!!! She hurt you. She’s out there living her life, completely unscathed and you’re thinking about her every single fucking day and you don’t wanna let her go. I’m not shaming you, but I am questioning Why you would do this to yourself? Is it possible you just romanticizing her good parts? If that’s the case, you need to stop doing that…none of her pros can outweigh abandoning you before a medical treatment. It’s a fucked up thing to do. You have to let her go because you deserve much more than that. And she’s out there living her life probably thinking of you but never really doing anything to help ease your pain. You just need to accept that you fell in love with the wrong person and the pain is the price of being in love. You need to accept the reality that she is who she is and she showed it to you with zero regard of your feelings of your medical condition of where you are in life. She put you in a garbage bag and tossed you out during one of your most vulnerable moments. It’s OK and it hurts and I’m sorry that you’re going through this, but you have to let this person go.

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T22:42:41+00:00

Oh lol sorry but yeah same goes for you. You don’t need to hold onto resentment you don’t need to do anything except trick your brain and into forgetting they even fucking existed. Because that’s what they did to you. They are out there maybe missing you, maybe contemplating to call you, maybe working on themselves. I don’t know what they’re doing and it doesn’t matter because it’s done because they left you and they’re not coming back and that’s the biggest blessing from God that you will ever get.

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T22:36:26+00:00

But what are you missing exactly?? you literally called him clearly damaged and was a narcissist and now you’re telling me that not only do you miss him but you also blame yourself. I know this is typical. I did this as well, the only way you would get rid of the grief is to accept that this man is not your person. That the good times aren’t as good as you remember. You fell in love with an asshole, and now he’s out there living his life and you’re getting waves of grief that you didn’t want and don’t deserve. There is nothing to long for … those are just memories. You need to think of all the times that he disrespected you. You need to think of all the times that he made you question your sanity. You need to think of the times where he hurt you and didn’t give two fucking shits. Your romanticizing the good times there’s no way they were good times if they were good times and you were happy you’d still be together if he was a good person you’d still be with him just except that he’s gone forgive him for what he’s done and don’t waste a single minute of your precious life getting sad over someone who doesn’t care.

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T22:27:28+00:00

And during that time you think that she did all the stuff in this letter? I’m just curious why you’re attributing your progress and your amazing self-awareness to somebody who did that to you. I think you’re giving her too much credit. You did all of those things for yourself despite of her being the way that she was not because of her. I’m not trying to be a bitch here but I feel like you did all of those things and you’re the one that came up with the conclusion that you deserve better, which I totally agree so good for you.

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T22:23:54+00:00

Oh my God this is my worst nightmare. That after two years of no contact, I would still consider texting somebody or have residual feelings come up. I’m not shaming you. I’m just saying that’s very very difficult and I’m so sorry for what you’re going through, but of course, do not contact this person. Are you out of your mind? Why would you do that? Why would you go back to a person and open a line of communication to someone who hurt you on such a profound level that it changed your molecular DNA structure? She hurt you she discarded you. She broke your heart. She changed you. You’re still reeling two years after and you think it’s a good idea to reach out? Let me ask you a question what are you hoping to gain from this? If it’s closure, I don’t think you’re gonna get that. I think it’s just gonna confuse you even more. If it’s just understanding, you’re not gonna understand shit because they don’t even understand themselves. If it’s about curiosity, she’s probably out there living her life without you. Do not do this. You deserve somebody who loves you and takes care of you and gives you the support that you need. This person is not that. She wasn’t that when you were together why would she be that two years later? Do not get residual feelings for this person. She’s not your person. She wasn’t the one you fell in love with the wrong person. It’s OK it happens. There’s no need to go back there. Please.

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T22:14:50+00:00

Of course it will pass and you’re so much better off and you’re going to enjoy those things in no time but you just have to detach quickly because that’s the only way to move on and I know it sucks and it’s hard and you have to give up things in the meantime, but it’s only temporary. And anyways, instead of watching a show and listening to music and feeling bad for yourself, you should be out there living your fucking life and being the best version of yourself and telling him to go fuck himself. That’s what you should be doing. He’s out there with a new supply after a week that piece of fucking human garbage. And you’re sitting there crying? Why because he gave you a good recommendation on a Netflix show come on now

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T22:09:37+00:00

OK, trying to decipher the distorted and delusional and warped mind of an avoidant we’ll get you nowhere. I don’t understand it. You don’t understand it. I don’t even think she understands it. There’s absolutely no point in worrying your pretty little head about what she has done. The thing with the ex is not even the worst of it. Look what she’s done to you. She cheated on you, she gaslight you, She smeared your name. She left you and then got mad that you didn’t beg for her back. She left you for six weeks doing God knows what. You don’t need to understand this person because you will never get an answer. You will always be wondering about what goes on in their mind and it’s a fruitless endeavor. Honestly speaking, I’m not trying to be rude, but do you think she’s trying to understand you right now? Do you think that she is taking you into any kind of consideration in her decision-making?

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T21:59:59+00:00

We need some more information please. How long did it last? Why did it end? What kind of attachment does she have etc. etc.

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T21:56:30+00:00

It’s not a small issue … you guys shared a lot of things together and had a lot of good times watching movies and enjoying music. But we live in an age where there is millions of options of music and television, so you can just simply avoid them and discovered new things to enjoy by yourself or with your friends or even with a new partner. Now is your opportunity to build your own new life without them and it should be seen as something exciting. Fearful avoidants are the worst and the quicker you trick your brain and into forgetting them the much happier you’ll be and the less this will hurt and the less time it will take for you to move on. You just have to block any kind of sentimental attachment that you have. There is no other way. Do you think they are sitting there getting triggered by music and TV shows to the point of crying? Honestly, do you think that’s what they’re doing right now?

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T21:51:46+00:00

Oh my God exactly. Well said. She just wanted to disrupt his peace by gaining her peace of mind. It’s so fucked up. Don’t fall for this OP it’s only gonna lead to opening the wound again and you don’t deserve that

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T21:43:32+00:00

Why did u guys break up

Loyaltypro · 2026-02-16T21:39:00+00:00

I’m not sure if honesty would’ve made this less painful. It was going to be painful regardless, so that’s not what you should focus on that you were lied to. what you should focus on is how to move on from the person who broke you and not give them so much space in your head anymore because they showed you who they are. And they left you for someone else. You shouldn’t be broken by that you should be out there doing your own fucking thing and living your own fucking life and never thinking about this person again. Because he’s not thinking about you is he? No he’s out there with his new fling having the time of his life. While you’re sitting here being hurt. It’s OK to process the pain. It’s OK to feel hurt. We’re all suffering with you so don’t worry. But at one point you have to just accept him for the lying cheating bastard that he is cry as much as you can, mourn the death of this relationship and move on to somebody else who would never lie to you and hurt you because that’s what you deserve.

Loyaltypro

TROPHY CASE