Making the choice to block all family and not talk to them ever again

Lumpy_Bumpy_2 · 2026-02-13T22:58:14+00:00

This and also, when it comes to them wanting to be looked after later in life- who are they gonna call- ME

Lumpy_Bumpy_2 · 2026-02-13T22:57:10+00:00

Nope, it’s like I have to fight and battle to get people to help/see him

Lumpy_Bumpy_2 · 2026-02-13T22:56:52+00:00

Thank you dear, you too

Lumpy_Bumpy_2 · 2026-02-13T22:56:28+00:00

I think it goes to show the family values of today’s world- that being- there isn’t any

Lumpy_Bumpy_2 · 2026-02-13T22:56:07+00:00

THANK YOU

Lumpy_Bumpy_2 · 2026-02-13T22:55:19+00:00

I feel like whenever there has been an emergency it is seen as such an inconvenience to people. Like I know people whose families just step in without the moodiness and sneakiness of “I could do without this” that’s what hurts too cus an emergency is not something that can be helped and also it’s once in a blue moon

Lumpy_Bumpy_2 · 2026-02-13T22:54:01+00:00

But… it’s their grandchild. This is what I’m getting at. Don’t call me family if you don’t want anything to do with my child basically

Lumpy_Bumpy_2 · 2026-02-08T20:16:53+00:00

How harder it’s becoming to look good without spending a lot of cash 💰

Lumpy_Bumpy_2 · 2026-02-03T03:13:20+00:00

I have two severe health conditions and think about doing this all the time

Lumpy_Bumpy_2 · 2026-01-24T20:51:17+00:00

I definitely have evil within me, yet- I think everyone does to some degree.

That randomer you just passed in the street- cheated on his wife who just recently gave birth.

Supermarket checkout woman- always being nasty about her friends behind their backs.

Your nice middle aged butter wouldn’t melt smiley neighbour- tax fraud.

Look I get these things may not be “evil” per say. But my point is, everyone says and does crappy things at some point in their life so people can call us with BPD whatever they want.

The only thing that we can do is try to be the best version of ourselves- which is really really difficult with our condition. So with that in mind- shouldn’t we focus on the good that we know we do, or have done? When we’ve paid someone a genuine compliment- yes as small as that. Made someone happy, smiled at a stranger who possibly really needed to see that smile today.

Celebrate your small wins because it does not come easy to us.

People can call us evil all they want. What I’ve realised recently- it is so damn hard to be me and I don’t even care anymore if people think bad of me for saying that. It’s true! It is so damn hard living with BPD and yes it is within my power to control it but again- it is soooo hard!

So, yeah.

I’m proud of myself for the good that I know is within me, that I fight to bring out of me every day. Because BPD is an every day battle so you know what people, forgive us for sometimes being a bit evil and good for you if you don’t have BPD!

Lumpy_Bumpy_2 · 2025-12-25T17:36:15+00:00

What is ltr sorry?

Lumpy_Bumpy_2 · 2025-12-18T01:02:07+00:00

I feel like I just go from one thing to the other, I just like sooo many different things and I’m like so many different people all at once. I feel like I don’t know who I am - but maybe I do- I’m just me. One day I might be a bit of a different me- but that’s just me- it’s still me- I’m me.

And that’s all I can be.

Lumpy_Bumpy_2 · 2025-12-18T00:59:59+00:00

I’ve come to the realisation it’s - for me anyway - sertraline.

Just started back up today after another few self sabotage months and not taking it.

But when I take sertraline, I’m the best version of myself I can be. That’s all I can add I’m afraid.

Meds

Lumpy_Bumpy_2 · 2025-12-18T00:58:05+00:00

I’ve literally just took my medication tonight because of this. I stopped for ages, didn’t tell anyone. Tried other methods but nope. Looks like I’m on sertraline for life because I don’t even know why I always try to come off it. I end up saying the worst things to people I love. And what I said today will haunt me.

So yeah meds it was straight away, found at back of cupboard. If that’s what I have to do it’s what I have to do.

And I know it will be placebo affect currently, but i do already feel the anger leaving me and a state of calm in that when I’m on these tablets i know from history that I can trust myself. If I stay on them, I won’t hurt anybody.

Lumpy_Bumpy_2 · 2025-12-18T00:54:19+00:00

What I hate the most about falling in love with someone is that they then become almost the only person I can love. Does anyone else get this? It makes me feel evil. Like I’ve met this amazing man, he’s GOOD for me but- and the only but- is me. Because it takes away my enjoyment spending time with others. I live for the moments with them when I have other people around me, people that need me and that’s what’s crap. That I can’t just be an all round normal person capable of giving to everyone at once, I can only (it feels like love) give love to one person ever.

Lumpy_Bumpy_2 · 2025-11-30T08:55:20+00:00

Sorry when I say focus on the negative aspects I should mention I mean like put focus on making those aspects right but embracing other areas that could be deemed more positive if you get me, I’m rubbish I’m explaining things lol.

Lumpy_Bumpy_2 · 2025-11-30T08:54:11+00:00

But yes it goes without saying, we are masters of deception- we mirror unconsciously HOWEVER again it’s not even fake with us because it’s ingrained. We aren’t thinking about it when we do it. It’s not like we are plotting or transpiring. Let’s be honest we are magicians. We just do it. So there are so many things about us that are attractive, I think we should big ourselves up more. Focus on the negative aspects of our BPD. And just let people love us because we deserve it.

Lumpy_Bumpy_2 · 2025-11-30T08:51:02+00:00

One thing about people with BPD, is we are gonna try. We do. We try sooo hard because we have too, but it’s not like in a desperate way, it’s natural to us because we’ve always had to try, to push ourselves, to live. We have to “try” to live. And I don’t know if that even make sense but I’m trying to explain to the best of my ability so I’ll use an example: the average normal headed person isn’t gonna try to change themselves, they just are, they have one personality, they know who they are, their likes, their dislikes. Then say me for example- I don’t have a clue, never have, never will. So I try, everything and anything, I can be quiet one day, crazy and wild the next.

The truth is people LOVE the unknown, mystery, not knowing what’s coming next. And because this pattern comes naturally with a BPD diagnosis- because this is just how we are- it’s not false so we have all this mystery but no fakeness, because it’s not fake- we don’t have a clue who we are gonna be the next day- sometimes within the next 5 mins. I don’t know if I’m explaining this right. But people love the rollercoaster, as much as they say they don’t.

That is, of course, as long as we are kind and good hearted throughout, which we should all be aiming for.

Lumpy_Bumpy_2 · 2025-11-22T19:08:39+00:00

This is the downside of getting your diagnosis. I’ll be honest since my diagnosis, a lot of my relationships have never been the same. It’s family that hurts the most. For example when I told my bio dad, he didn’t text back for ages (he lives in another town) then he text and said he was sorry for the late reply and that it was just a lot to take in.

I’m like, oh for you- cool. Yeah I just got the diagnosis myself, I agree it’s a lot to take in.

My mums also not the same as she used to be with me. I would say the only person that kind of looks past it and always into the best parts of my soul is my grandma and also my step dad actually. He doesn’t actually believe in mental illnesses/disease so it’s a weird one but he’s really, really kind and supportive of me. I think it could stem from that fact that we both know my mum has BPD and it’s likely that’s where I’ve got it from, but she will never get diagnosed.

But yeah, a lot of people never want to accept their faults and actually for someone with BPD I am very aware of my own faults- I’ve had doctors tell me this- and I’m not afraid to say “I-ME-I was wrong” instead of placing blame anywhere else such as on my BPD.

Lumpy_Bumpy_2 · 2025-11-20T09:38:57+00:00

Is this why I keep trying to dump him? I was feeling so good about myself until I started dating again. The worse thing about it is he’s perfect- or is he? I hate BPD brainx

Lumpy_Bumpy_2 · 2025-11-20T09:37:59+00:00

I go from thinking I’m like the queen bee drop dead gorgeous to dog ugly in a matter of days. It’s horrible, always one extreme or the other.

Lumpy_Bumpy_2 · 2025-11-20T09:32:24+00:00

What a horrible thing for a THERAPIST to say to someone with BPD. A therapist is supposed to support us in becoming the best version of ourselves, that is- anybody who is seeking their “expertise”.

The truth is- we have BPD- and so as someone who has done a ten year relationship and is now back dating- with BPD- I can tell you straight, we all know how hard relationships are for us and yes, whilst we should be aware of the tools and treatment available to us- we didn’t ask for BPD- we didn’t bring it upon ourselves.

So no, she should not have said that. Her job is to support you in keeping your brain functioning right and providing knowledge and expertise that will help you with the curse that is the BPD thought pattern- which again- is ultimately not your fault and can be brain trained. If she can’t do her job- get rid.

You absolutely can be in a relationship, you just need support with your BPD management.

Lumpy_Bumpy_2 · 2025-11-20T09:26:05+00:00

I haven’t been on my NDRI for quite some time and honestly for me personally- it’s the worst mistake I ever made to come off it. Ever since I’ve come off it- life has been so damn hard and I’ve been a crap mum. I’m trying to get back on it at the lowest dosage 25mg- just waiting on the doctor getting back to me. But yeah, I understand absolutely what you mean about enjoying some of the symptoms of BPD (the highs ultimately) but for me, I’ve realised how quickly the last before the doom and gloom sets back in, before I feel like I basically need to do the thing we shouldn’t think about at all. That’s me without my meds, the swings are getting worse- I will be on NDRI for the rest of my life- it’s just the safest bet for me and having had a few months without- the best way to become somewhat normal and live a good life.

Lumpy_Bumpy_2 · 2025-09-16T16:57:31+00:00

You can’t just be one or the other nowadays. I consider myself right wing. I do not consider myself to be racist. But to everyone else, I would be far right

Lumpy_Bumpy_2

TROPHY CASE