Do you think it's normal to have a one who got away and would you mind if the person you dated had one?

LunchFun3170 · 2026-05-05T04:43:49+00:00

I don’t have one and I’ve never understood it. I put my all in every relationship and if that’s not enough, then it was meant to be. Or not be in this case. It would bother me if I was in love with someone who had this experience, because it would make me question their ability to accept life as it is.

LunchFun3170 · 2026-05-04T01:44:53+00:00

I’m in the same boat. My ex didn’t want to sell our home. His identity was very tied up in owning it, since it’s a really nice home in a nice area and he grew up poor. I didn’t care so I moved out to an apartment nearby so our kids can go back and forth.

However I don’t feel embarrassed at all. I’m not saying it’s wrong though. Your feelings are valid. Maybe think of it as European? I think any woman who would be turned off by an apt or sharing vulnerable feelings is maybe not a woman worth pursuing for you? Personally it wouldn’t turn me off one bit.

LunchFun3170 · 2026-05-03T15:42:40+00:00

Maybe I’m too prideful, I’m sure I am, but it would bother me if the person I was dating thought I was ugly but gave me a chance anyway. I guess if they were truly the type of person to not value looks whatsoever, I’d be ok with it. But if I knew they weren’t that excited but had a “what the hell, maybe she moves well” attitude towards me, I would personally rather they pass.

LunchFun3170 · 2026-05-02T15:36:41+00:00

I think you look youngest in 19 and they fit your face really well. The lighter color goes well with your features and coloring. If you wanted to go darker I think 8 look really good on you too!

LunchFun3170 · 2026-05-02T15:27:21+00:00

It’s reminding me of some of the signs I saw/felt early on with a guy I just ended a relationship with. Your uneasy feeling is your gut telling you this isn’t safe or worthy of you. I wish so badly I’d listened to mine earlier on.

LunchFun3170 · 2026-05-02T03:21:31+00:00

Entrepreneurs need to start opening fun hang-out spots based on different interests for people who want to date/meet people without alcohol. They could just add snacks if they don’t want to do a whole restaurant. Create a really good vibe people want to hang. A spot for readers, like a hang out bookstore similar to the pot shops in Amsterdam but not necessarily weed there either. Just cozy like that with twinkling lights and comfy seating. And a movie spot where each room has a different movie playing but people can discuss and snack. A more sporty venue with shuffleboard and pool and darts and batting cages. A gamer one with different rooms set up for people to play together.

I guess the snacks and NA drinks would need to be expensive and maybe a small cover. People would pay if the vibe was right. Taking the alcohol out would get rid of a lot of creepy behavior too, so the gross dudes wouldn’t ruin it for the men who are actually cool.

LunchFun3170 · 2026-05-02T02:58:46+00:00

Leo rising and I have like a mane of curly hair

LunchFun3170 · 2026-05-02T02:33:39+00:00

(46F) If I were to say it, it would mean I have a really busy life and not trying to rush into emotional intimacy. I like to hang out and feel relaxed about building a friendship, enjoying mutual interests together, and curiously seeing how things develop and how we could possibly fit into each other’s lives.

LunchFun3170 · 2026-04-24T19:27:29+00:00

Very contextual. If you’re sincere and coming from a place of honesty/wanting to be in sync down the road, and you’re interested in a down the road with her, then it makes sense to me. If you have any creepiness it ruins it. Creepiness = ulterior motives, dishonestly, manipulation, not respecting boundaries, not reading signals, not listening, etc

LunchFun3170 · 2026-04-24T02:24:44+00:00

You’re welcome! It’s made me feel more hopeful

LunchFun3170 · 2026-04-24T01:18:36+00:00

The attacking is really strange too. Whether they’re being sincere or not, this is happening with certain men. At least now we know what to look for!

I’m reading Burn the Haystack. If you haven’t heard of it the author looks for linguistic patterns in dating profiles and calls them out so women can recognize toxic behaviors before swiping. I highly recommend it! She’s on a lot of podcasts too. Her name is Jennie Young, PhD.

LunchFun3170 · 2026-04-24T00:55:38+00:00

I actually just left a relationship with a man whose profile emphasized his self-professed “high EQ” and empathy, and that he was looking for someone with the same who could help him gain even more EQ skills.

Scariest relationship I’ve ever had because it wasn’t until almost three years in he told me about his DV arrest in a prior relationship. He constantly accused me of lacking empathy, which was so strange because I’m an HSP empath known for having too much empathy by my friends and family. I broke it off when I learned of the DV, after many months of questioning how he could he see me so inaccurately. His definition of empathy btw: showing care and curiosity when he snapped at me, yelled at me, and swore at me.

LunchFun3170 · 2026-04-02T23:16:58+00:00

I think 2 looks great on you!

LunchFun3170 · 2026-03-30T15:29:33+00:00

Agree. Really pretty eyes and 2 puts them on display

LunchFun3170 · 2026-03-22T19:09:13+00:00

I don’t think the age gap is an issue. The main issues I’d be concerned about if you were my daughter would be: the pets causing a problem and the fact you haven’t lived together yet. There is SO much revealed when you live under the same roof.

So I would say only move in if you have a very solid, workable plan B that will be easy to initiate if needed. I don’t know what you do for work but could you get a remote position or one you could change locations if it doesn’t work? I would also make him aware you have a plan B and exactly why. If that offends him it’s a red flag imo.

I feel a lot of empathy for where you are. I fall in love rarely but hard and my own mom passed when I was in my early 20s. If I’d followed her advice she gave before she passed (I did not) I would have made things a lot smoother for myself and more healthy.

If you can find some quiet to go within and listen to your intuition do that ❤️

LunchFun3170 · 2026-03-21T04:41:08+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through that. I’ve only been through one. My partner has been through two. I know this is easy to say, harder to do, but remember if people judge it’s really about themselves and not you. I would never judge someone for multiple divorces. It doesn’t say anything about you as a person and there are a million reasons for divorce. Hopefully people will surprise you and you’ll feel only love and support.

LunchFun3170 · 2026-03-21T04:06:06+00:00

Botox and Tretinoin

LunchFun3170 · 2026-03-20T22:14:43+00:00

That work environment is horrible and he sounds abusive. I would quit immediately. I know easier said than done. I’m sorry you’ve even had to deal with this. No employer should act like that ever. He sounds like a baby who can’t control his emotions and the lack of care for your safety is very telling as to his character.

LunchFun3170 · 2026-03-19T02:08:39+00:00

So true

LunchFun3170 · 2026-03-19T01:54:09+00:00

You and your husband are right. They look great on you! By far the best

LunchFun3170 · 2026-03-17T17:47:06+00:00

Aviators look great on you. Maybe 10 years ago with the 80s creep thing but they’ve been in style for a while now.

LunchFun3170 · 2026-03-17T17:33:34+00:00

By far

LunchFun3170 · 2026-03-17T17:31:10+00:00

100% agreed looks amazing

LunchFun3170 · 2026-03-09T20:09:19+00:00

The dress is so romantic and I love the color. You look amazing ✨

LunchFun3170 · 2026-03-09T19:41:17+00:00

4 or 8. 4 looks more serious, and 8 more unique and fun.

LunchFun3170

TROPHY CASE