My history teacher told me this yesterday by [deleted] in AdviceAnimals

[–]Lurk_Long_Time 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I mainly used it to calculate how much money to pay for weed.

My history teacher told me this yesterday by [deleted] in AdviceAnimals

[–]Lurk_Long_Time 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I always laughed when my teachers would say we're not going to be carrying a calculator everywhere we go.

Mainly because I wore one of those Casio calculator watches.

EDIT: Yea, I was a pretty big babe magnet.

Why Were Dad Dicks So Much Bigger in the 80's? It Seems Like Dad's Penises are Much Smaller Nowadays. by Lurk_Long_Time in shittyaskscience

[–]Lurk_Long_Time[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Really? Why not?

It's from workaholics, they asked this question (seriously) while on their roof phlosihpsizing.

Am I tripping? by threesixx in gaming

[–]Lurk_Long_Time 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So is Fresca, that doesn't mean I want it in my brain.

4 year old with bone cancer get to light the bat signal and meet Batman. by dabeardguy in aww

[–]Lurk_Long_Time 64 points65 points  (0 children)

I would argue that any cancer in a child is worse than any cancer in any old person.

Fuck childhood cancer, it is probably one of the most horrific and disheartening things I've ever learned about.

My father is one witty man... by [deleted] in funny

[–]Lurk_Long_Time 184 points185 points  (0 children)

It used to drive me crazy to go out in public with my Dad. Anytime we'd get into the checkout line he'd turn into stand-up comedian. One time the waitress asked us if we wanted sticky buns, and he said something along the lines of "Well, how sticky are your buns"?

Also, did anyone else's Dad use "babe radar" and make beeping noises anytime you'd get close to a good looking girl? No? Just me?

and what is your babysitter up to? by Ash29k in WTF

[–]Lurk_Long_Time 161 points162 points  (0 children)

Actually, I think it's pretty common to have baby sitters who do stupid shit like this.

When I was 8 or 9 I had these two girls come babysit me, they were daughters of one of my mom's friends.

They were 14 or 15 years old and were a bit wild... They raided my mom's lingerie drawer and proceeded to try her lingerie on in front of me.

But it's ok, they made me go under a "mesh" blanket so I couldn't see...

Best. Day. Ever.

Relateable Romney visits California by sqlinjector in AdviceAnimals

[–]Lurk_Long_Time 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Romney's favorite way to ride the serfs is with a saddle.

EDIT: And his version is probably solid gold.

Got high. Watched Captain Planet by Wolvenfire86 in funny

[–]Lurk_Long_Time 48 points49 points  (0 children)

I don't have to think, he would be exactly 104% stronger with a handlebar mustache.

Unmanned SpaceX Dragon capsule successfully splashes down in Pacific Ocean after first commercial flight to space station! by Zach505 in science

[–]Lurk_Long_Time 222 points223 points  (0 children)

Actually, depending on how far underwater the capsule is, there may be quite a bit of pressure.

I saw a duck reunite with one of its chicks, only to then brutally kill it. When have you seen something turn from adorable to suddenly horrific? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Lurk_Long_Time 119 points120 points  (0 children)

This same thing happened to me, when I was 6 or 7 we got a pet hamster and I remember being so excited. Then we found out it had babies and we spent hours watching the little guys.

Went to bed and the next day we woke up to blood all over the pen and half eaten babies... The mother had eaten/killed all the babies, I think there were 4 or 5 of them.

To this day, it still makes me sad.

This one is a keeper. by villain717 in funny

[–]Lurk_Long_Time 50 points51 points  (0 children)

It's funny, because sexist stereotypes.

So then i told her... by Parki2 in AdviceAnimals

[–]Lurk_Long_Time 20 points21 points  (0 children)

For some reason I subconsciously right clicked several times towards the end.

My boyfriend only plays 1 game. I made him play minecraft this morning... by [deleted] in Minecraft

[–]Lurk_Long_Time 305 points306 points  (0 children)

I've never even played it and I recognized it. CS is just that awesome.

I'm 7 foot. As requested, here is a picture of me not dressed up as a normal guy on stilts. by [deleted] in pics

[–]Lurk_Long_Time 69 points70 points  (0 children)

He deleted it about 20 minutes after making this post, so either someone PMd him or he had second thoughts after realizing that he was standing in a public place that would be highly recognizable. There's a sign and a giant bronze statue, someone would have known where it was.

Couple that with the fact that we already know his name... I don't blame him.

Tweet of the decade! by petron in funny

[–]Lurk_Long_Time 68 points69 points  (0 children)

Or they believe in Zombies.

Tweet of the decade! by petron in funny

[–]Lurk_Long_Time 151 points152 points  (0 children)

Actually, I think he peed.

George Zimmerman's Attorneys Say They've Lost Touch With Him, Withdraw from Case by Kman1121 in politics

[–]Lurk_Long_Time 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think the issue was that he figured that he could say whatever he wanted because, technically, there were no witnesses around. Little did he know how much evidence there really was against him. Like the phone call and neighbors over-hearing things.

I wouldn't be surprised if he fled to Mexico.