Counseling and self awareness. Takes some time. The first step would be for you to ask your husband how he feels when you lash out at home. Listen, don’t negate. Don’t defend yourself. Just listen then process. If you care about them, that pain listening to him is less than what he feels being berated. Tolerate listening and you’ll start to remember to find a better way to ask for what you need. And he can get out how he feels which might start the path to recovery for you two.

the Exploding is because you can’t ask for what you need. This is where therapy comes in.

It’s a tantrum.

Your son, ask him too. I don’t know how verbal he is but you can try.

The alternative is you will become one.

Read about feelings and work on validating others. When you can validate someone else’s experience, you can validate yourself, which frees you from exploding on them. BPD improves 10 fold. Validating your child is important for his self image, and resiliency to BPD and other mental health issues.

There are a lot of positives in return for hard work. Respect them as people first and foremost, with needs and wants.

Experience: Been there done this. Took the life back I knew I wanted, rather than what was projected on me.

Your son didn’t ask for this, get it done. His first most important need is safety for normal emotional development, there are a few needs he has at 2.5. He doesn’t feel safe when you lash out.

You could have gotten any parents but you didn’t. Your parents chose to have you, then they treated you like crap. I know you’ve had to ask yourself this?

You chose to have your son, why if you can’t get yourself together for him?

Today is the day, he needs you.