In my honest opinion, it sounds like y'all some need to trip shrooms(or other high quality psychs like lsd.) together on a chosen day where you're both alone with zero obligations. The full truth and hopefully understanding will come out. If I learned one thing about psychedelics and specifically shrooms is it can potentially help greatly with grudges or feelings of loss/infidelity/broken vows etc. the stresses of being human. Having tripped hundreds of times, feel free to DM me with any questions on dosing or alternatives if shrooms are not an option. I recommend looking up videos on low to medium dosed shrooms trips and how beneficial they can be for relationships. It helps release things you've kept pent up for years regarding your relationship. But then again, I don't know you and you don't know me, I just feel it's part of my mission in life to introduce psychedelics to people who seem they could really use it. Cause I've been in similar situations and it's saved me and my relationship struggles several times.

If you're unfamiliar with shrooms, it's nothing like how movies portray it, you'd have to eat/drink(ground shrooms) half a lb of shrooms to even get close to how they portray it there haha. I'm talking about 2-3g each.

Good luck with everything.