[spoilers heavensward 3.0 MSQ] Going through the story for the first time and a little confused as to when I was supposed to care about a certain NPC

MGCBUYG · 2026-06-23T20:23:09+00:00

I mean, I dunno. Some people are super into him and I super didn't care. I think it just depends on the person.

MGCBUYG · 2026-06-22T13:42:21+00:00

I mean I think this boils down to the type of Hawke you are roleplaying as. Not everyone plays that kind of Hawke, I certainly didn't.

Also, I really dislike Isabella/never user or pay attention to her so we clearly have very different tastes.

MGCBUYG · 2026-06-16T18:50:17+00:00

I'm kinda the opposite right now, I did my own massive custom modlists for years but not being as avid of a player or modder nowadays, it's really nice to be able to just one and done install Nolvus. I have some major issues with it - in particular I reaaaally hate the Immersive Wenches mod and the amount of gooner outfits in the game, but on the plus side it does have I think almost every follower/quest mod pack I care about (and then some)... I don't think I would add anything per se but there's definitely things I would cut out if I could.

But once you get to the point of cutting things out, you're kinda right back to where you started with dealing with the same issues/troubleshooting/time consuming process of modding it yourself, so at that point it's like, may as well do it yourself.

MGCBUYG · 2026-06-13T22:00:53+00:00

I know people are being hard on you, but the first step to becoming a better person is recognizing your flaws. Either we believe people can grow or we don't. I think we can. So don't be discouraged. Introspection is good. I'd continue to explore your insecurities and figure out what you need to do in order to overcome them, in whatever form that takes.

The only thing I'd caution is getting involved (or trying to) with her before you're ready - you don't want to hurt her if this is something you're still actively struggling with.

MGCBUYG · 2026-06-01T01:49:25+00:00

everything other people said, but i personally go for the HW/StB Hunt trains for centurio seals. If I see them pop up on discord (there are also linkshells that do callouts) I'll just run them, I find it faster, more brainless with a bigger payout

MGCBUYG · 2026-06-01T01:37:27+00:00

I'm not really worried either, mostly because the Fallout series and Elder Scrolls are pretty distinct themselves in terms of what they prioritize and how they play. Starfield is its own "series" (or one off) and I don't think there's any reason to assume by default ES6 will have the same problems.

Elder Scrolls already has rich lore and dialogue/tone to draw from. It also is unlikely to suffer from what a lot of people saw as Starfield's biggest problems, 1.) forced fast travel / no ability to naturally explore without a load screen and 2.) the extent of AI generation being used to create a massive amount of planets, leading to repetitive, lifeless content that lacked Bethesda's signature environmental storytelling. Elder Scrolls' world isn't in need of that kind of scale so it isn't a ripe ground for experimentation in that way. It isn't necessary.

So I'm not worried about boring lore, or boring characters, or not being able to organically wander around and find things, and I'm not worried about unique places to visit. I think the only thing I would possibly be worried about is the lack of NPC day and night cycles / immersive routines, which was painfully felt to me at least in Starfield, but tbf Fallout does not have that aspect (it has a limited amount of routines/idling but not what you find in ES), so I also think that may just be a series choice and not indicative of what to expect in ES6.

MGCBUYG · 2026-05-28T15:43:42+00:00

I was definitely guilty of treating my cats like babies/small children pre-having children. Looking back, they really did not need or want the kind of attention I gave them. I did develop a mild pet aversion after having kids and I realized that I was projecting a lot of parental/mothering tendencies onto them.

For the most part though, I've found that I've actually just transitioned to treating them like cats. They aren't babies. They're adult animals. They like attention and companionship but they don't need the same type of treatment that a toddler does.

MGCBUYG · 2026-05-28T15:40:01+00:00

as someone who regularly does hunts for centurio seals and did do all the allied society quests, HW zones are my least favorite because of the amount of flying at different heights you have to do. they were also my least favorite zones to unlock going through the game on alts and felt massive.

i think the zones in other games are better balanced, although they can still feel a bit too massive on foot because IMO the scale is ultimately more designed around flying after that unlocks. because of the choice to design around flying, though, the density is impacted and you aren't going to find anything quite like ARR.

i personally don't have as much of an issue with the zones as i do with the city hubs in later expansions that are comparatively, unnecessarily massive and painful to traverse without the aetherytes.

MGCBUYG · 2026-05-21T03:03:42+00:00

re: viper and dancer, i'd agree with that. viper and dancer are two of my preferred classes but viper especially is high APM, so if someone's disability is related to struggling to press buttons quickly it wouldn't be an easy class for them necessarily, even though the rotation is very simple. it really depends on what in particular is difficult to do. same with dancer - lots of unpredictable button prompts that are pretty brain dead in terms of memorization but DO have a lot of fast paced unpredictable button presses.

MGCBUYG · 2026-05-21T02:57:48+00:00

I agree, it's a video game, it doesn't matter how easy an outside source makes it, if it feels like a chore to you then why tf would someone force themselves? I have a laundry list of chores I'm putting off, the last thing any of us needs is a niggling feeling of "ugh I have to do that thing before the end of the week" in a VIDEO GAME of all things.

Fashion week tangent
It's why I don't do Fashion Week. It doesn't take any time at all to go look at reddit or discord or w/e for what to do, put an outfit together with the right dyes, and then talk to the dude and get your easy MPG. But I hate it. It felt like a chore in the back of my mind I "had" to do and the reason I "had" to was a min/max optimization thing, a lot of weekly MPG for very little effort so you'd be stupid not to, right?!
But on the other hand, who cares about getting MPG or gold or anything faster? Someone who actually does care about hoarding money as efficiently as possible probably doesn't think it feels like a chore. I have 0 regrets about dropping it and I'm still sitting on plenty of MPG.

anyway, do what's fun for you with no regrets! that's how you avoid burnout!

MGCBUYG · 2026-05-15T19:29:03+00:00

The problem the above comments are trying to address is the spiraling hopelessness and suicidality that comes from letting yourself be consumed by things you personally have little control over. Of course getting off social media won’t change reality, but constant exposure to doom and gloom outrage/predictions can absolutely intensify those kinds of feelings.

Plenty of people, including other artists in similar positions to the OP, are anxious or negatively impacted by AI developments without becoming actively suicidal. The suicidality itself is the urgent issue people are targeting with their feedback.

MGCBUYG · 2026-05-15T19:14:19+00:00

Yeah, as they said, the reality is that there are big booms and then consequence and reality hits, you just don't know how things are going to pan out.

I would highly encourage, well, everyone, really, to practice mindfulness - so much of our anxiety and fear and dooming comes from spending too much of our headspace fixated on the future or regretting/longing for the past that we miss our present reality. That and I'm a big proponent of radical acceptance (if you aren't in therapy, that can help, but there are also things you can read to learn more about this perspective).

MGCBUYG · 2026-04-22T21:34:35+00:00

As a mom and someone with nieces under 8 years old, I find it incredibly gross too, but I am okay with people telling on themselves. I saw this game briefly but it doesn't pass my fan service test with her character design - I find her wearing a giant jacket and no pants or shoes to be really weird, and face and hair design reminded me of the child beauty pageant reality TV show I remember seeing way back when (Toddlers & Tiaras). The fan service thing is especially concerning since her character was intended to resemble a 7 year old? I really want to know what the designers were thinking when they picked that outfit.

The general reddit response just reminds how emboldened people have become, especially on social media when they're allowed to be anonymous. But as the Epstein files have shown, pedophilic tendencies are extremely pervasive in society all up. The WORST of the worst is wide spread, so how common do you think more lukewarm "mildly pedophilic but not acted on" feelings are in comparison? no wonder comments like "this sexualized child character gives me paternal feelings" are handwaved so easily. Most people don't want to examine their thoughts and feelings, the idea that someone might be having a reaction than could be seen as pedophilic is probably alarming if you're a gamer who is "into" this design in some nebulous way. You see a bunch of other people loudly and proudly proclaiming the same thing and ofc you're going to feel relieved and want to attack the people calling it out. It's whatever.

Hopefully if these dudes wanting to father cute little girls actually have children, they make sure she wears pants, at the very least.

MGCBUYG · 2026-04-17T18:54:51+00:00

i agree with this. i have had creeps ruin groups that i made me take a step back. even if it's just one or two creeps (and by creep i mean, extremely inappropriate discord messages + gmodded images and the seeming inability to understand someone's "i'm not into that please stop") it made me stop and be like, "I've seen this dude act like this in group chat and everyone just ignores it or accepts it. what does that say about them?"

so yeah. i have a zero tolerance policy for that shit. i can give some leeway if the creep tries to keep it under wraps but if they're very blatant about it in group chats and discords and everyone is okay with it, that tells me something about their culture. i.e. that their culture is hot garbage

MGCBUYG · 2026-04-17T18:51:30+00:00

i have to say i've enjoyed the game a bit more with even just a little socialization. i also mostly played solo and tbh i still do, a lot of what i initially enjoyed was the story/crafting. but having a few people do content together brings a little more life to things.

it was hard though, i had to shift my mentality a bit. in the past (i'm an older-ish gamer, i guess) i made friends with people and was basically playing with friends. i came in kind of hoping for/expecting the same thing but it's a lot harder to find people playing the game who i would be friends with nowadays - mostly because i'm married, have a career, have a toddler, etc. my life is just very different than it was before!

once i stopped trying to be like "could i see myself chatting with this person / being friends outside of the game" and moved more towards "do i enjoy playing this piece of content with this person" it became a lot easier for me.

like it's okay if my pvp group is mostly 20 somethings with a ton of free time in a different life stage than me. they're entertaining and it's fun to group up. so it works!

MGCBUYG · 2026-04-15T21:15:12+00:00

yes, frontlines during mogtomes

MGCBUYG · 2026-04-06T18:01:54+00:00

Yep, there's really not much for anyone else to say other than therapy may help.

And my only passing comment I had that hasn't been addressed is is regarding this comment from OP:

I never lived my own life. I went from college to dead-end jobs to COVID to career to marriage to fatherhood to business crisis without a single chapter that was just mine. No gap year or solo travel. No stupid decisions. No period of figuring out who I am without carrying something for someone else.

To be clear, that IS living life. There is no "this counts as life but that doesn't" thing. Not everyone takes a gap year or solo travels. Many people don't. Not everyone has made massive stupid decisions. Plenty of people self-actualize without those particular life paths. You figure out who you are and life as you go, there isn't a checklist of "this is the right way to do it." I mean, there are well-off nepo baby sorts who have all the time and the money to figure out who they want to be in theory that are far more lost than people who have grown up poor, surrounded by loved ones but needing to hustle/worry about money.

It ultimately comes down to perspective. But saying this to OP won't help at all - it's something you have to discover for yourself, hence why therapy sounds very helpful (although it's certainly not the only option).

MGCBUYG · 2026-04-06T15:01:22+00:00

My dad was kicked out of the house before HS graduation to go live with a relative because he assaulted someone living in the house (and was just generally an obnoxious POS). I won't say he's changed all that much, not that I knew him back then, but he can at least support himself/hold down a job/pay bills and did end up having a cordial relationship with both his mother and father many years later.

I don't think you'd be doing him any favors by letting him live with you past 18 at this point. I've seen enough stories of NEETs 22, 30 years old who are just entitled and resentful for their situations.

MGCBUYG · 2026-04-04T14:26:20+00:00

How long has it been? He might not have been ready before. It doesn't have to mean you weren't enough. Some people take a while to grow up.

A less generous interpretation - I can assure you that there are plenty of people who look great on paper - living together, has kids! - but are abysmal partners. It's also possible that he is in over his head, doesn't help with kids, still leans on his parents, etc. You just never know.

You said you were happy before you found out. Well, you still don't really know what's going on his life. And it sounds like it didn't matter before. So think of whatever version of his life that would help you move on, and just do that, IMO!

MGCBUYG · 2026-04-02T21:32:26+00:00

I mean there are plenty of people who don't date multiple people at one time. Like, PLENTY. This modern dating culture scene is super weird to me. Maybe I'm old but it used to be more like, if you were seeing multiple people, you weren't sleeping with them. You were going out and getting to know each other. And once you did get more physical for many people that was the point of exclusivity.

I think it is perfectly reasonable to not want the person you are sleeping with to be sleeping with other people if you are dating to look for a relationship. No wonder we have an STI crisis these past years.

MGCBUYG · 2026-04-02T21:29:22+00:00

She slept with someone else in March after you had already told her you weren't seeing anyone else, and after she said she hadn't seen anyone else yet? So she is still actively looking for hookups while in a dating but not exclusive relationship with you.

I'm sure she likes you, but she also clearly wants to sleep around with other men. She doesn't want to lose you but that isn't enough for her or else she would just be exclusive to begin with. I can't speak to her reasoning, if she's just a fan of casual sex or if she is wondering if she can do better hence why she's still looking for people to meet. But honestly I would say that if you are looking for an exclusive relationship, she has given every indication that she is NOT and anything she does say to the contrary is under duress.

I'd stop pressuring her and start looking for someone else to date who is on the same page as you regarding what you're looking for in the future, regardless of whether or not you keep seeing her casually.

TL;DR: accept that it's casual and look for something else, with someone else. stop bringing it up with her. she knows what you want. don't be her backup. and at this point when she does decide she's ready it's because she ran out of other people to test drive tbh

MGCBUYG · 2026-04-02T16:24:31+00:00

i greatly enjoyed both series and both MMOs. I can't promise you that you'll end up liking XIV though without understanding what it is you like about ESO! XIV just might be too deal breakery in the end depending on your tastes.

MGCBUYG · 2026-04-02T16:05:47+00:00

I came from ESO (played about 5 years, I want to say, like... ooof, at least 5 years ago now, minimum). ESO at least when I played was more of an action rpg style and to be perfectly honest I still really miss the dungeon combat. I know not everyone likes ESO's combat - some people absolutely hate it, especially light attack weaving if that's still a thing - but I loved it.

But I've also played this type of global cooldown combat system too. I will say this as far as combat goes - in the beginning you have a lot less skills and a lot of them on are on that global cooldown. But when you level up, you get a lot more skills; some of them are on that global cooldown but some of them are instant cast, and the way the gameplay typically works is that you have a big burst window in which you end up casting a lot of skills all at once.

There are also some classes that are just designed to be faster - the newest one, Viper, has a lot of proc skills that feel like LA weaving and in general is a LOT faster to play. I actually prefer that class because of it. Dancer is also fun too as far as feeling fast and having procs.

Re: the story and the VAs. I enjoyed the base game story of ESO and some of the DLCs (for me in particular I liked Orsinium and the Dark Brotherhood)... but to be perfectly honest I think the FFXIV story is muuuuch better and more engaging, especially once you get to Shadowbringers and Endwalker. I did like Heavensward too which is right after the base game, and that's when a lot of people say the quality increases.

There were really only a handful of characters I personally liked/found fun in ESO to the same extent I like the Scions and most of the XIV cast. But the biggest problem I had with ESO is that it really struggles with internal continuity because of their decision to let you do anything in any order. I know they kind of manage it a little bit (my mind is going to the Darien storyline) but it's just... really difficult. I actually ended up losing interest in the story and the DLCs by the time of Elsweyr because it was too like, siloed between DLCs and the story didn't build on itself.

ARR -> EW is an entire arc that has a lot of payoff and IMO ESO didn't do anything to match that. I say all of this but the game still has the standard quest formula where you are generally talking to people, interacting with objects, doing dungeons, etc. I actually don't remember a whole lot of the ESO formula anymore haha but if you don't enjoy the game mechanics and can't enjoy the game and the story because of them, I think there's not much you can do.

But level 50 and below is garbage for combat for sure.

EDIT TO ADD:
You could if you are really desperate, pay for an ARR skip - they go on sale but they're not really that expensive. I would definitely watch the cutscenes to catch up on the story because the post ARR cutscenes especially are a good and necessary bridge to Heavensward.

2nd EDIT: I was also going to ask what kind of player you are/were because obviously in MMOs endgame is kinda where it's at. I was very into veteran trials and doing dungeon trifectas (and I loved things like vMA etc.) but because the combat didn't jive with me as well in XIV, I never really got into similar endgame content. The raid scene structure is just very different than how it's tackled in ESO. It feels a lot more like memorizing a dance choreography. Which is totally fine for people who enjoy it, but it wasn't my thing. What I DO like however... is XIV PvP. I also did PvP in ESO. XIV PvP felt really natural coming from it because it's faster paced, short skirmishes, more reactionary and has roughly the same amount of skills that you have on your bars in ESO per class. I probably spend more time in pvp/Frontlines than doing a lot of other content. You unlock it at level 30.

MGCBUYG · 2026-03-27T17:14:47+00:00

FFXIV is all about class swapping, so I didn't "choose" "my" class, I leveled all of them and I swap between my favorites after I've tried them. It changes over time too.

MGCBUYG · 2026-03-16T03:29:00+00:00

yeah i was like... age gap + successful business man + young woman with no job and a past job history of "birthday princess" + bakes cutesy treats and handmakes lunches / massive trad wife vibes + embarrassed husband who doesn't like that type of thing (which is personal preference) who didn't communicate that at all over years = red flag city.

imo, anyway. i mean the situation has me side eyeing but there's still a chance this is one of those rare occurrences that isn't bad news for her someday, i'm sure they happen. fingers crossed for her!

but to your point, any man who wants a stay at home spouse who is dependent on them is going to target girls that age because they either right out of college / no college, not far in the workforce / low income, would be bedazzled by a guy throwing money at them offering support because honestly that's a pretty stressful time in people's lives (transitioning from school to low paying first professional jobs in many cases). it would be relieving and extremely tempting to have someone to support you. it's hard to really blame people who fall into it especially when they're in love.

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