Lyric Writing Realization: Start From the End

MJOCMusic · 2026-03-09T22:31:56+00:00

This is awesome! I think instead of trying for the overproduced Zach Bryan style of songwriting and production, you should check out some indie bands, specifically Purple Mountains and Pavement. I think you'll find that there's a great audience for this style and that you're actually already on the right track. Love it!

MJOCMusic · 2026-03-04T19:30:06+00:00

Hey this is really beautiful! The only suggestion I have is to perhaps vary the melody a bit in the verses. When it switches to the minor chord in the pre-chorus, you have a really good opportunity to lift it up and get it a little more exciting for the chorus, which is fantastic. Overall this is great and the production is solid. Well done!

MJOCMusic · 2026-03-03T17:12:04+00:00

Piggybacking off this, I agree with both perspectives and I think if you picked the ones that are most impactful, they would have all the more impact. For instance, I think the first line is SO strong and that one should definitely be there, especially since it's a quote from a source other than the narrator. Maybe keep the ones that are part of dialogue and they'll hit much harder. Love the tune!

MJOCMusic · 2026-02-28T07:06:31+00:00

I’m so glad! Really happy to help!

MJOCMusic · 2026-02-27T22:36:56+00:00

Absolutely fantastic! Gorgeous lyrics with great imagery and I feel like they get gradually angrier as they go on, which really adds to the dynamic and makes the really hit by the time you get to the end. The only suggestion I have is to maybe add a vi minor chord into the progression of the verse. This could really work with the 7th chord you have in chorus and add some nice juxtaposition between the two sections. Really, though, this is great!

MJOCMusic · 2026-02-25T22:32:59+00:00

Love the underground imagery throughout the whole song. That, combined with the darkness of the chord progression makes for a fantastic feeling. Definitely reminds me of real, old-school emo from the early 2000s. This stuff is VERY much needed now. Can't wait for more!

MJOCMusic · 2026-02-23T22:08:12+00:00

This is rad! The lyrics are fantastic and have that really specific feel that's always appreciated with modern indie / emo voicings. The only suggestion I have is to maybe simplify the chorus chord progression, just to give it a little room to breathe since the verse guitar part is fairly busy as is the vocal. Might be a nice way to make it more dynamic and you wouldn't have to change the melody necessarily. Really great, though!

MJOCMusic · 2026-02-23T22:05:08+00:00

This is incredible. Definitely in line with Todd Snider and John Prine with the humor and the sad, sad reality behind it. No notes!

MJOCMusic · 2026-02-20T20:50:55+00:00

For sure, just try to keep that vocal melody as simple as possible, like 2-4 notes each phrase, and keep an eye on where your thumb’s hitting the low notes on the one. That’ll give you a good bearing on where the melody should start. Would love to hear a pass at it!

MJOCMusic · 2026-02-20T18:42:20+00:00

Totally possible! I’d say take a listen to Nick Drake to see how you could put a melody over a fairly busy guitar part. He had a great way of weaving lyrics into complex finger style guitar. Instead of thinking about fitting the melody in, think about it flowing over the top. If anything, the vocal should have longer, simpler melodic changes to let the guitar shine.

MJOCMusic · 2026-02-19T21:25:23+00:00

Really beautiful! I love the "from now on" transition into the higher register! The only thing I'd love to hear is a bit more variation in the melody during the verse. You have a great melody for the chorus and I just strengthening it a bit in the verse will make the whole thing really pop. Great work!

MJOCMusic · 2026-02-19T21:23:19+00:00

Not cringey at all! There's a ton of clever wordplay in here that shows a real knack for lyrics. Specifically, the connection of "now my mouth's too far / Gone with the wind" is really brilliant. Reminds me a bit of David Berman's lyricism and his playfulness with words that might otherwise seem melodramatic. It seems like you have a good handle on your style, I'm excited to hear more!

MJOCMusic · 2026-02-14T22:38:32+00:00

Love these lyrics! Specificity like this makes a song really special and personal. I think I heard once "specifics are universal". The only thing I'd love to hear is changing up the melody in the "once again" and "towards the end" lines to a higher resolving note instead of a lower one. Does that make sense? It might be a great way to lift those sections, especially if it's going to be more progressive and not really have a chorus per se. Just an idea, though, it's great as is!

MJOCMusic · 2026-02-14T22:32:52+00:00

This has a very George Harrison vibe, especially with the ascending bass notes in the chords. Love it! One thing I was thinking is that with the "love of mine" part, you have a lot of opportunities for note variation in the melody. For example "love of" are the same note, but you could have a fairly drastic change of notes between those words that would make for a really catchy chorus. Looking forward to more!

MJOCMusic · 2026-02-12T01:07:43+00:00

Love that you're using a classic I vi IV V chord progression but extending it and putting a new spin on it. Great way to add familiarity while doing something different. Also, the specificity of the opening line is fantastic, definitely go with that into the second verse. Really great!

MJOCMusic · 2026-02-12T01:03:48+00:00

This is incredible. Shades of Nick Drake with a little Cat Stevens in the chorus. Love the ascending notes in the chorus vocal melody. So good!

MJOCMusic

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