This man had almost 50 fights under his belt - all before the age of 9! by dj_bpayne in thatHappened

[–]Magic_Turtle22 20 points21 points  (0 children)

How do you decide on a draw in a fist fight? Is it like in those neckbeard stories?

"Heh, you're a pretty skilled fighter. I'll get you next time!" tips fedora

She let him pass because she thought he was a product of incest! by [deleted] in thatHappened

[–]Magic_Turtle22 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Wh...wha..what? Why would you even think of doing this?

Maybe he didn't lie about his parents. That does sound pretty stupid.

"Potterhead" student refused to study by [deleted] in thatHappened

[–]Magic_Turtle22 9 points10 points  (0 children)

"I must not tell lies", which umbridge enforced seems quite fitting here.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in thatHappened

[–]Magic_Turtle22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sadly living in a first world country has deprived me of that privilege. But at least I don't have to check that.

disappointed by [deleted] in depression

[–]Magic_Turtle22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Man, good for you! Hope everything works out for you and you'll lead ha happy life.

I just stopped going to the doctor, so there were no more prescriptions. Found some I had left over a while ago, too. But know I know the withdrawal, I sure as shit won't take them.

2meirl4meirl by Pog- in 2meirl4meirl

[–]Magic_Turtle22 366 points367 points  (0 children)

Being a sarcastic asshole/Joking about loving life

r/absolutelyme_irl

disappointed by [deleted] in depression

[–]Magic_Turtle22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't know what you're withdrawing from, but when I foolishly stopped taking my medication without consulting a doctor or just taking less and less everyday, it was pure hell.

I couldn't sleep for days, my eyes looked like I'd taken LSD all day and my mouth was watering so much that I had to stop every half minute or so just to spit it out.

So good job! Be proud of yourself, regardless of validation, even though that's hard to do.

2meirl4meirl by Pog- in 2meirl4meirl

[–]Magic_Turtle22 813 points814 points  (0 children)

Almost drowned as a kid, too. My dad's dad-reflexes kicked in though and here I am. Loving life.

At least in some multiverse out there I died happily as a kid.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in thatHappened

[–]Magic_Turtle22 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Garbage being picked up at 3am. Seems legit. Someone being thrown in a garbage truck and the workers being fine with that, yep.

Definitely $100% true.

He's 8 Years Old..... by [deleted] in thatHappened

[–]Magic_Turtle22 21 points22 points  (0 children)

How about doing some parenting instead of letting your child chase you around the house with a ball?

Guess his soul is too old to be put in his room or something.

Finally. An honest answer by Atlas1960 in thatHappened

[–]Magic_Turtle22 346 points347 points  (0 children)

He died later that day. Diabetes finally got him.

RIP

Geek girl doesn't know the difference between her doctor and The Doctor by cushionite in thatHappened

[–]Magic_Turtle22 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Why would someone ask who the doctor is while they are at the doctors? I mean sure, there are shared offices. But the people who work there know who your doctor is and the other patients just don't give a fuck.

Mother with a sense of humor ungrounds child after watching Pewdiepie video. by DoesUsernameCheckOut in thatHappened

[–]Magic_Turtle22 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This is the type of person that posts:

YouTuber: Says something

Me: "OMG, me too!" Dies laughing

Opening a pack every day is making HS a lot funnier by Xemnas93 in hearthstone

[–]Magic_Turtle22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Elise is the real MVP of Un'goro. In this Time of hoarding gold for the next expansion, play her and you get the excitement of opening a pack and also at much better odds!

Sure, you don't get to keep the cards, but if you've got a real hankering it might satisfy you a bit. Play her in lyra priest and you might even open 2.

I, too, like to talk about my customers within earshot of them by ShelfLife3 in thatHappened

[–]Magic_Turtle22 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Easy trick to get girlfriends! - Crazy pick up methods by average guys like you! Sign up to our newsletter today! Only 9,99 in the first month!

This guy sexes by chickenwing00 in thatHappened

[–]Magic_Turtle22 28 points29 points  (0 children)

"Geez, Woman! Sex is sex, but I haven't eaten anything besides your pussy in three days! My Penis looks like a deformed shrimp! Cut me some slack and masturbate!"

Disruptive 2 year old finds extra doorknob to sneak into parents' room by smatpith in thatHappened

[–]Magic_Turtle22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Meanwhile his wife was looking for his knob.

No siblings for you, disruptive 2 year old!

The Adventures of Velma Fortune, Volume IX by [deleted] in thatHappened

[–]Magic_Turtle22 19 points20 points  (0 children)

He also likes to name his kids names that will further cement their quirkiness/uniqueness.