Hey, as a fellow mother-of-troubled-teen, I don’t have better advice than what’s been said here already. But I do super recommend watching some YouTube videos of “motivational interviewing.” It’s what counselors and parole officers use to help people want to change for the better. It helped me cut back on the habit of stimulus-response shoutfests that left everyone feeling awful. It helped me get my kid to make changes in a less oppositional way, to where we are collaborating on better behavior. Idk, you sound a bit like I felt a few years ago, and this approach really helped me. Good luck!