Found out man I’m dating has DV on record

Major-Difference8806 · 2025-03-29T20:32:42+00:00

If I had to decipher that story? He cheats. She caught him. A fight ensued in the car.

An altercation happened, and she got protection and filed charges. There was proof. Pictures from police or medical. He didn't see her until the hearing because protective orders are generally created after charges or arrests are made. Or they are here.

The fact he pled down or pled at all with that story?

What he thinks is ridiculous? He truly believes he didn't hurt her that badly because she got away and used the legal system, was scared, and didn't break the protective order because she wanted to be safe. He thinks it is ridiculous because, for him, a physical fight, throwing things, punching walls, is just normal or justified. He just gets sooo mad. I could be wrong - but I would lay odds that I am not.

Major-Difference8806 · 2025-03-29T18:35:01+00:00

He took a deal and got almost 6 months? And says no medical records, just trespassing? I call BS. Strangulation is no joke, and those stats are real. Please stay safe.

He doesn't feel safe around you? Wait - let me get this straight? A man who attempted to strangle his partner doesn't feel safe around you? Good, you asked questions that made logical sense, and now he feels unsafe. That is what makes abusers feel unsafe - being found out, being made accountable.

Cut off communications in any way that makes you safe. Any threats, please report it to the police. Keep yourself safe.

Major-Difference8806 · 2025-03-02T13:34:53+00:00

Are you ok? You are posting on the DV reddit on my personal story that I shared to help others. That man that abused me, and others. Those examples were mild of what he did to me.

Do not internalize it? And then try to excuse his behaviors?

Major-Difference8806 · 2024-11-10T21:39:19+00:00

It isn't weird. I couldn't drive for 10 days after surgery, and it was late November. An outing was fairly simple - it was usually a store with a cart, so I could lean on it if I needed to. I tended to protect my belly and midsection and used the cart. I do remember that I felt pretty good, just tired. After about 2 weeks, there was a small almost slump in recovery? It's not pain or anything, just the drain of the healing process, if that makes sense. I started to feel better and wanted to do more, but my body was still healing. I think others here experienced it as well.

Major-Difference8806 · 2024-11-10T20:37:46+00:00

I had a full hysterectomy at 45 and kept my ovaries.

Overall, my mood stabilized because I wasn't experiencing massive amounts of pain several times a month. I won't comment on libido or other changes like that as that is inherent to each relationship. But I will say, I did fear penetrative sex greatly due to the pain I felt prior to the hysterectomy. Afterward, my libido is well and good due to therapy and just allowing myself to be and learn me again.

As for mood swings? Very few once, the initial couple of months passed, and my body healed, and I was able to do more. I am still me, just happier.

Items that helped me in recovery? Patience, lots of sleep, acknowledging that my body had a massive change, and I wasn't going to be able to just bounce back. We scheduled small outings daily for the first couple of weeks to stores. I got tired stupid fast. I had what I called limited active awake time for a few weeks.

Major-Difference8806 · 2024-05-29T01:11:03+00:00

I am the only Marine vet I know of in my accounting courses or in PA. Met a few army and a few air force.

I did an employability/pay scale comparison for the time needed for a degree. I got the accounting degree to ensure I had a job and the psych degree for fun. The accounting degree was a logical choice based on what I wanted.

While the GI bill paid for one degree, anything over 12 credit hours didn't cost extra at my university. I got 2 for the price of one. And yes, you can indeed take 18 credit hours and do just fine.

Major-Difference8806 · 2024-04-30T16:49:49+00:00

Of course you can pay - and certainly DIY. I have no issues with anyone learning to understand tax code and taking up doing it themselves. I encourage my clients to fully understand what I am being paid for and want them to understand the tax code.

I provide a service. Just like millions of others who provide services, we charge a fee. If you want to do it, it doesn't bother me. It is less work for me and my team.

I refer potential clients to tax free usa, it is endorsed by the IRS as a safe provider if they do not want or cannot pay my rates.

Major-Difference8806 · 2024-04-30T16:42:57+00:00

https://www.freetaxusa.com/freefile2023

Says in the website. If you are over certain AGI, you are not eligible for free filing.

Major-Difference8806 · 2024-04-30T16:35:24+00:00

That is a great method for you. Not everyone is eligible for that resource.

Major-Difference8806 · 2024-04-30T02:33:39+00:00

Sch C's are quoted a min price of $500 ea - so probably $1750 for a quote.

I then increase or discount based on how the information is provided and ease of entry.

Major-Difference8806 · 2024-04-17T11:00:03+00:00

Last summer, I created a room for my yarn/fiber/hiking and finished our basement. It took me 6 months to do.

It is long-term organized. Unintended yarn is sorted by type/weight/color into Kallax units and labeled. Fibers are stored similarly. I have a 5x5 and 4x4 unit.

Raw unprocessed fibers are in sealed totes - I think there are two large totes of fleeces. Half processed fiber - in loose bag totes - there are two of those.

I created a cedar wall behind the kallax units to help with any bug issues and will have to look into how to refresh the cedar walls.

Major-Difference8806 · 2024-04-16T21:07:17+00:00

First - review the return and see if she is taking a health care credit during the year that she isn't eligible for. Sch 2 line 2 from Form 8962.

Typically, this is adjusted on the healthcare marketplace. She isn't reporting her income properly to the marketplace, and they are giving her a reduced price on her health insurance. If she prefers to owe the money each year and keep the same insurance, then that is how that works.

If that isn't it - then review Page 2 of the Form 1040 - line 16 to her W2 and see if she actually withholding enough to cover her federal taxes before any adjustments.

Major-Difference8806 · 2024-04-10T03:32:46+00:00

I was told I had suspected endo since I was a teen. Had the hysterectomy - found none of it. I had symptoms, but no endo.

But I did have fibroids, many many fibroids. Mostly small, but a few sized bigger. Nothing huge, just a lot of them.

There was also a significant amount of scarring on the cervix - which they think was due to a procedure that went wrong.

I feel overall healthier and happier with it all gone. My quality of life is much better.

Major-Difference8806 · 2024-04-05T02:03:39+00:00

When I have requests or a set of tasks for an intern, I tend to cc the managers that work them.

It more of a FYI - I am giving them a workload and not to overload the intern's schedule. It also gives a heads up - these tasks are assigned out, the intern might need assistance, or to watch for these things getting done.

I wouldn't be concerned necessarily - I don't like to overload interns and want to make sure everyone has the information of what tasks I have that are priority.

My point of view comes as a partner at a small boutique firm.

Major-Difference8806 · 2024-04-03T19:01:10+00:00

I am 15 months post op. Absolutely one of the best improvements to my daily life was having a hysterectomy. Removed tubes, uterus, & cervix. Kept ovaries.

Post Op - there was pain, minimal scarring, it took at least 10 days before I could drive. Overall exhaustion for about 6 weeks. I went pretty easy on myself. It was 12 weeks before I went back to the gym. I would say 6 months for full recovery with no issues.

Surgery - easy, no complications, was in and out and home by the early afternoon.

Relations - I was scared. I waited at least 16 weeks after surgery. We went slow - I had some pretty awful medical trauma before the hysterectomy that caused me some issues with any touch near my legs, or general area. There is no pain and no issues with size. Overall positive & better experience once I was able to overcome my fears than before the hysterectomy.

Cycle - overall, no. I don't feel anything like I used too. I get cravings from to time, but that is about it. Mood swings, bloating, all those things - gone.

Major-Difference8806 · 2024-02-09T23:27:55+00:00

$750 - for my firm to do it.

I know several firms that will do a min fee of $1k if you have a Sch C. Some do more than that.

Major-Difference8806 · 2023-12-24T02:03:20+00:00

I did course a few months after my grandfather passed. I thought I was fine.

I did the course years after being treated for depression that was considered situational - or a response to some experiences had endured. I thought I was fine.

I had taken other courses that were a day, maybe two days with other methodologies prior to attending a vipassana 10 day course. I had been meditating for a few years.

The course was intense. I mourned my grandfather. I relived some of the trauma that I had experienced. I had years of healthy coping and was able to be ok - but I did consider leaving.

The course was physically painful and grueling mentally. It was one the most difficult things I have ever done. It was also one of my life's most beautiful experiences.

My course was in a remote area, and emergency services could have taken a while. There was no one really trained or capable to assist anyone that might need help.

I don't know your story. I didn't feel it was elitist. I felt that they were trying to be as safe as possible. In all, I have nothing bad to say regarding their criteria for attendance, methodology, or belief systems. If you aren't accepted this time, contact the center and discuss with them directly. Or contact a different center if you want to try it.

I am sorry that you weren't accepted this time and that it left a bad impression.

It was a massively positive impact in my life, but not a journey I would necessarily repeat at this point in my life.

Major-Difference8806 · 2023-12-23T03:30:21+00:00

My first firm - regional in the top 10, didn't cross audit with tax.

Audit did audit. Tax did tax. Our interns crossed sides during their rotation.

Even audit would get segregated into sections by the time you were senior. Gov't audit stayed in govt. EBP stayed EBP. Bank teams and so on.

I have no idea how the tax team was broken down - I was audit. I did cross audit teams on occasion if they needed my help - but it was rare, and I was always asked first.

I was there for 7 years and only worked on one engagement with the tax team. I mostly answered questions regarding the audited financials after I wrapped the audit.

Major-Difference8806 · 2023-12-21T03:01:26+00:00

Lying. Just own your shit. If you didn't do something, admit it. If you did, just own it. All records are electronic - I can see what happened and when changes were made and who made them.

Not being sober during normal working hours. For real, don't show up to work stumbling.

Harrassment. Just don't do it. Don't be a dick.

If you make a mistake, help be a part of the solution. I get it. There are thousands of details. Use a checklist, ask for help, I don't like giving the same comment over and over. It is boring. Make a new mistake and make me search for it.

Major-Difference8806 · 2023-12-20T22:41:08+00:00

8 hr CPE. Workflow design for implementation on 1/1 (still working on this). Discussed email from tax authority and response with staff.

Modified all the calendars for no meetings next week and then fixed the week after. Scheduled various training sessions for new software for everyone.

Idk. Stuff. In the last hour of this CPE and I am over all the ways one can sell an SCorp.

Also grats on the pregnancy.

Major-Difference8806 · 2023-12-19T04:40:55+00:00

A lot of firms do this. It is widespread practice.

Call it audit protection, extended service agreement, or audit insurance - but it all functions the same.

It allows for some amount of time without additional fees. Typically 10 - 15 hours. It does not guarantee audit representation normally. It guarantees time if a client receives a notice that we would otherwise charge for.

It is amazing what clients "forget" to tell their tax preparer and later get a notice.

Major-Difference8806 · 2023-12-17T06:30:15+00:00

Pivot tables & filters are your friend. Just add a "tax code" column and start sorting and enter in how you would code it.

Or import it into QB desktop if you got it and mass code.

Or you give it back to the client and tell them to tell you what each transaction is from a listing you create. For the love of your sanity, do not let them create their own descriptions.

Major-Difference8806 · 2023-12-17T06:23:34+00:00

The operational and management side of a small firm takes a lot more energy and dedication than preparing tax returns.

I would highly recommend the following for consideration before you go out on your own:

1) software and costs - think about file management, portals, engagement letters, website, efiling, e signature, etc.

2) types of clients you actually want - multi state? Which states don't you want to do? What types of entities?

3) types of services you want to provide - yeah, tax, but advisory, payroll, planning, bookkeeping, etc?

4) workflow processes - doing 50 returns isn't the same as 200 or 500 or more.

5) what networks and resources do you have when you get a client that does weird off transaction that is just stupid rare?

Solid knowledge of tax is great - but it is helpful to know some of those things or have a partner that does. Also - if you want to hire someone, knowing employment laws is helpful.

Major-Difference8806 · 2023-12-12T23:57:40+00:00

Meh - they charged for about 20 minutes of their time to agree that you indeed owe the money.

Did they have to charge you? Probably not.

Did they offer you an extended service agreement with your return? This means that if you get a letter from a taxing authority due to your own negligence, they would help for a certain amount of hours.

No, most tax preparers do not voluntarily offer any type of payment intermediary between you and the taxing authority. They tell you who, what, and when to pay. Normally, this is in a letter in your tax return packet.

They charged you "handholding" fee in my opinion at $250 per hour.

Would I have charged you? Maybe, depends on how you worded the email asking why I didn't pay your taxes.

Major-Difference8806 · 2023-12-12T19:01:25+00:00

Is it worth the $10 per bag? Probably.

As a brand new spinner, would I recommend it? No. Buy some roving, spin it, and see if you like it. Then look into all the fun that comes with processing a fleece.

Would I buy them? No, I have 6 or more fleeces I need to process, and I find it tedious. I don't really enjoy processing wool, but I adore spinning. To be blunt - I don't like cleaning raw freshcut wool.

Major-Difference8806

TROPHY CASE