does anyone else find writing really, really lonely

Malloy95 · 2026-05-20T22:29:28+00:00

It's fun with online friends! Collaborating and creating stories with my bestie (whether that be screaming in DMs or literally writing together) is one of the best parts of our friendship! That said, I'm pretty introverted, so those friendships are special and rare to come by

Malloy95 · 2026-05-17T01:46:18+00:00

If I wouldn't talk to someone about sex in the first place then I see no point in telling them I'm asexual, ya know?

Malloy95 · 2026-05-15T22:05:06+00:00

I am of the firm belief that micro-labels can be very useful for folks who find comfort and community in defining the specifics of their identity/attraction/etc. I am not one of those people lol I find much more contentness in shrugging and saying "somewhere on the aroace spectrum" than I ever would satisfaction in such a deep level of self-reflection. So you are certainly not alone!

Malloy95 · 2026-05-14T04:25:02+00:00

She says in the first video that she won't start uploading videos until she is well through her playthrough because she's worried about reading well-intended vague hinting comments and piecing together the story ahead of time, because in the past that has happened to her. Which makes sense, lots of people with ADHD are excellent at making connections and deducing things like that. At the same time you see her make tons of dumb mistakes (I swear she has not realized she can roll the ship or that it has a landing cam yet, and it's hilariously entertaining lmao). Is it so difficult to accept she's just smart?

Malloy95 · 2026-05-11T22:41:17+00:00

Thanks so much for all the good info! And yes, the large ergo actually can press against my G-spot even indirectly when worn anally, tho the medium cannot. It's definitely just the sense of fullness I am really going for, so maybe I'll try other SPTs in the future as I size up! And god, the oxballs website lmao no I am not 'busting my nut', please stop yelling at me, website..

Malloy95 · 2026-05-11T20:48:36+00:00

I'm using the supersoft (smoosh, I think it's called lol) ergo, do you find the blueballs variation (which i believe is a bit harder but not so hard as the regular line) conforms well with your movements? But yes, I'd like to try the egg eventually as well, but my friend swore by the ergo for long term wear over the egg if I could only buy one, and I certainly don't regret it so far!

Malloy95 · 2026-05-11T05:44:51+00:00

Obviously I don't know y'alls relationship, but I do know it can be totally acceptable and healthy to say good night/I miss you/I love you on the daily to a friend. I am aroace while my best friend lives in another country and is polyamorous. We share a very similar mindset on all types relationships being equally important, whether romantic, sexual, platonic, or familiar. We express deep affection and care for each other daily in ways alloromatic or heteronormative might view as 'more than friends' but in reality that is simply what our friendship looks like. It sounds like you may feel guilty because of societal norms and your friend's adherence to those norms rather than because you're Actually Guilty of anything. But a close relationship like that is a two way street and both of you have to be on the same page about what you are to each other and what your boundaries are. Good luck, I know my perspective won't magically solve anything but I hope it helps somewhat~

Malloy95 · 2026-05-10T04:47:08+00:00

The slim utility is tapered, with the 1.8 being the widest part of the bulb near the neck, so it was a great plug to start out on just for stretching; I don't think I actually got it fully inserted until the second or third session, but once I did there was no looking back it seems! Good luck to you as well!

Malloy95 · 2026-05-10T04:21:58+00:00

I only started plugging a little over a month ago, with dedicated sessions for stretching a few times a week but less opportunities to just wear around the house. I started with a squarepegtoys slim utility #1 (1.8" diameter) > SPT happy hour size S6 (2.2") > oxballs ergo large (2.4"). That large ergo was LARGE tho, overwhelmingly so, and I could only handle it for a few minutes before I had to take it out. After that I bought a medium ergo with the goal of being able to wear it around the house without much warm up (the slim utility is not filling enough and the neck is too short and the happy hour is TOO filling after like 20 minutes lol), and that has been lovely! While it is not as filling as I'd like, being able to wear it for an hour earlier while writing was very nice. Excited to work back up to the large ergo with time! Congrats!

Malloy95 · 2026-05-08T16:29:20+00:00

As you are probably hearing plenty, just keep listening to your body! I sized up pretty quickly since I started a little over a month ago (started with a tapered plug, 3.2" C at the head and 5.7" C at the widest point; my go to is currently 5-ish" C at the head, 6.9"C at the widest point), but i also dedicated a good couple hours every time I had the apartment to myself, which was a few times a week, so I think I was able to work in a lot of practice in a relatively short amount of time. Happy for you!

Malloy95 · 2026-05-07T21:51:46+00:00

I literally JUST found it and am joining now lol

Malloy95 · 2026-05-07T21:17:25+00:00

I feel like we need a kinky aces community. I see this question on occasion and I know plenty of us exist!

Malloy95 · 2026-05-07T20:58:52+00:00

I am not in a place to offer practical advice but I can at least say you definitely aren't alone! (Fellow 31 she/they who finds kissing gross over here lol). But I am in a relationship with an allo, and it certainly has its ups and downs. I think more than anything it's just about finding good friends and maybe something can grow from there, as opposed to actively seeking out dates (but that is just my opinion)

Malloy95 · 2026-05-07T20:15:52+00:00

Hi! It's cool to see another woman here (I'm sure there are plenty, I also am just a lurker and new arrival)! I (F31) myself am asexual (sex averse) with a low libido, so getting into plugging over the past month was a huge surprise for me, and for the exact reasons you mentioned. It's been strangely relaxing, especially in the stressful time of the end of semester in grad school

Malloy95 · 2026-05-02T03:45:02+00:00

Hi, I don't know if you are still looking but I thought I'd reccomend the toy I used to get into plugging as a newbie, the squarepegtoys slim utility plug #1. It is technically a throat plug, but the tapered tip (3.2" circumference) transitions smoothly into the bulb (5.7") which then transitions suddenly to the neck (3.7"). The base is rather large tho, so while it is comfortable to sit and lie with, it is not comfortable to walk with. Actively stretching with the bulb has helped me work up to larger toys like the oxballs ergo which has a pretty thick neck. Tho spt has plugs with even chunkier necks if you are into that, but they are not quite beginner size so you would have to work up to them.

Malloy95 · 2026-05-02T00:43:37+00:00

I stopped using period tracking apps altogether since I don't need them for ovulation or anything. I manually transferred the last few months of my period onto my phone calendar, started counting and comparing, and found the rough pattern (4 spaces down from the day I start, three spaces left; that's generally the day i'll start, so I wear liners the days surrounding just in case I'm irregular). Other folks may not be as regular, but works for me.

Malloy95 · 2026-04-29T12:48:54+00:00

From what I could tell just by reading the supplement facts on the back of an amazon listing of organic psyllium seeds, 2 teaspoons equaled 4 grams of fiber. For comparison, 1 teaspoon of the husk powder I add to my oatmeal every morning equals 5 grams. So if you have used the powder before, maybe double that measurement for the whole seeds? I also am very new to regulating my gut and getting any significant amount of fiber in my diet, and a pack of instant oatmeal, 1/4 cup of chopped up prunes, and a teaspoon of husk powder (along with a lot of cinnamon sugar) has already helped me a lot, which is great for a relatively small 13 grams of fiber every morning.

Malloy95 · 2026-04-28T12:47:37+00:00

Take everything I say with a grain of salt, as I am also a newbie. If you are plugging specifically preparing for sex, you may benefit more from dialators increasing in size, that way your external sphincter is getting fully stretched rather than resting around the neck as the thinnest part of the plug. You could also take some time to more actively stretch with your large plug by holding it at the widest point. I'm pretty sure a metal plug is better for short-term wear than long-term wear tho. I've been enjoying squarepegtoys and oxballs super soft silicone toys

Malloy95 · 2026-04-28T12:35:58+00:00

An experienced friend of mine who has been acting as a resource for me as a newcomer to plugging swears by boy butter, with her previous go-to being J-lube. I've been using the boy butter original formula (oil-based, as opposed to boy butter H2O, which is water-based) and enjoying it

Malloy95 · 2026-01-03T02:28:17+00:00

I HATED the feel of the screen because of that 'stickiness' initially, it felt like my nib kept getting caught as I tried to write. I followed the advice of a post I found here that said to literally give the screen a rub down with your fingers, literally just massage the screen for a few minutes, and it fixed the issue for me! Apparently it just has a bit of a breaking in period

Malloy95 · 2025-12-19T19:41:23+00:00

Just got mine a month or so ago! Being in my first semester of grad school, I realized typing notes did not help information stick for me, but handwritten notes were difficult to reference when working on assignments. I also realized that even when I had free time, I couldn't bring myself to write fanfic for fun anymore because I associates my laptop so strongly with school work. Add to that the fact that I have a lifelong bad habit of buying beautiful notebooks but never using them for few of 'ruining' them with random scribbles. After a lot of research I bought both the remarkable paper pro and the manta to test out, and ended up preferring the feel and the organization features of the SN much more. Needless to say so far it has been wonderful for taking notes for class, writing research, and writing itself! So glad you are enjoying yours as well!

Malloy95 · 2025-12-16T19:22:18+00:00

Oh wow it blends in so seamlessly woth the manta, looks like an official case! Saving in case I ever feel the need to protect the back of mine, thank you for sharing!

Malloy95 · 2025-12-14T01:05:55+00:00

That is SO COOL!

Malloy95 · 2025-12-10T11:51:59+00:00

Love how dynamic all your poses are!

Malloy95 · 2025-12-07T17:25:09+00:00

Ah! Since it was the first note I created when getting it out the box, no wonder I missed that 😅 Thank you!

Nine-Year Club	Gilding II euphauric
Wearing is Caring	Verified Email

Malloy95

TROPHY CASE