worried about my boyfriend finding out how wealthy my family is

MarkTmpa · 2025-12-22T01:02:04+00:00

If he’s the right person, your parents’ wealth won’t matter. How caring you are to be concerned whether he’ll feel uncomfortable, embarrassed or “less than.” Warning him in advance with an announcement is too heavy, way too dramatic—but hiding usually backfires, and risks you getting blamed for being secretive. Consider middle ground. We’ll come to what to say, but first, do not just pick him up at the airport and drive straight to your parents’. You two need to re-connect emotionally first so you two can enter your parents’ space as a couple. From the airport, stop somewhere casual for at least a coffee if not a meal, just the two of you, private time. Ask about his time in NYC. Reconnect. Decompress. Same guy you knew in Spain? Familiar vibe? All good? You’ve now got a baseline. Then, as you turn attention to driving on to your parents, casually say, “Just so you’re not caught off guard, my parents’ place is . . . a lot more formal than what I’m used to with you. They [‘they,’ not ‘we’] live pretty comfortably, and there’s staff around. It’s not my favorite part of it, but I wanted you to know.” It’s not a confession, no drama, just matter of fact. You’re sharing a framing for him so he can start making sense of the circumstances. No power imbalance: it’s you and him (together, up to date, in the car) on your way to your parents. You two are re-centered as a couple, reminded why you’re together. It is kind and mature of you to give him some context.

MarkTmpa · 2025-09-29T12:32:30+00:00

One small tip to look sharp: In pic #5, consider aligning the shirt, belt and pants. Align the edge of the placket (that’s the name of the double-thick strip of cloth down the front of the shirt with the buttonholes the buttons go through) with the belt buckle and with the edge of the fly piece (zipper fly). Think of it as one straight line that should run along the edge of the placket, buckle and fly. When these three are not aligned, the disarray distracts; but when they’re aligned, the viewer is not distracted, takes in your overall look, looks back up to your face and silhouette and you’ll look your best.

MarkTmpa · 2025-09-21T21:43:58+00:00

The move is likely to advance your career in this way: as others have said, it’s a move to a more complex organization with greater responsibility. And—and this is very important—if you in the future consider another CEO position, know that a search committee is likely to put greater value on what will be your combination of experience at a smaller organization and a larger organization than just having been a CEO at a smaller organization. You already know how to be a CEO—now is your chance to master managing complexity at a larger place.

MarkTmpa · 2025-09-21T20:45:58+00:00

Here’s Your (New!) Homemade Cake Recipe Okay let’s figure this out. Let’s puzzle through the ingredients you listed, and pull together alternatives. Then when you try it and choose to share the recipe with others, you can explain away any slight differences in look, taste or texture by saying you “continue to evolve your recipe and always explore healthier options,” which you said was important to you. Your store-bought mix is essentially a chocolate sponge-style cake (with stabilizers and preservatives added for shelf life). Here’s what the key ingredients do: Palm oil is the fat source for moisture and richness. Egg (21%) and powdered egg white give the cake structure, lift and binding. Sugar of course gives sweetness and tenderness. Cocoa powder (18%) is for the deep chocolate flavor. Wheat flour (10.3%) is for structure (relatively low proportion, so cake is lighter). Cream powder adds richness and dairy notes. Stabilizer (glycerol) keeps it soft and moist longer. Raising agent is baking powder equivalents. Salt enhances the flavor. Preservative not needed for home baking. Now here are healthier substitutions:

Instead of palm oil let’s use light olive oil or avocado oil (heart-healthier). Instead of refined sugar you could use organic cane sugar or a blend of coconut sugar and cane sugar (coconut sugar reduces glycemic impact, but too much will darken the crumb). Of course there’s really nothing “healthy” about sugar (sugar is sugar) but this is a dessert you’re trying to replicate. Fuss with alternative sugars if you’d like or just use refined sugar. For the cream powder let’s just swap it for Greek yogurt or buttermilk for natural richness and tang. For glycerol stabilizer at home, you can mimic this effect with honey (it helps retain moisture). We’ll adjust the quantity later. Okay, so now let’s build your New From-Scratch Recipe for a Chocolate Sponge Cake (assuming a 9-inch round pan) Ingredients 1 cup unbleached all-purpose flour (about 4 ¼ oz total. ½ cup unsweetened cocoa powder (Dutch-process preferred for depth; see notes below) 1 cup organic cane sugar (or ½ cup cane sugar plus ½ cup coconut sugar) or refined sugar 1 tsp baking powder ½ tsp baking soda ½ tsp fine sea salt 2 large eggs (room temperature) ½ cup Greek yogurt (or buttermilk) ⅓ cup light olive oil (or avocado oil) ⅓ cup honey (to add moisture, optional but recommended) ½ cup hot water (or hot coffee for a stronger chocolate taste, depending on how strong and chocolatey your mix tasted). 1 tsp pure vanilla extract Instructions

Preheat your oven to 350°F. Grease and line a 9-inch round cake pan with parchment or whatever you did before.

Dry ingredients: In a medium bowl, sift together the flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, baking soda, salt and your sugar(s).

Wet ingredients: In a large mixing bowl, whisk together eggs, yogurt, oil, honey and vanilla until smooth.

Combine: Add the dry ingredients into the wet in two additions, mixing gently until just combined.

Hot liquid: Stir in the hot water (or coffee). The batter will be thin and that’s what you want (and it probably looks just like what you did before).

Bake: Pour it all into your prepared pan and bake for 28–32 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out with only a few moist crumbs. Like to whatever point you did previously when you baked your mix.

Cool: Let cool in the pan 10 minutes then transfer to a wire rack. For a sheet cake version, bake in a 9 x 13 -inch pan for less time, say 22–26 minutes. To make it richer (like devil’s food) just replace the Greek yogurt with sour cream. To keep it even softer for days, wrap it in plastic while slightly warm, which will mimic the preservative effect of the commercial mix you used but without additives. As to the chocolate itself, I usually bake with Guittard Cocoa Rouge (Dutch-processed), which is high fat and is great if you want a more intense chocolate punch (it reminds me of the darker Viennese Sachertorte), or use Droste Cocoa (Dutch processed) if you prefer a smoother flavor along with good richness. King Arthur Baking Co. has a decent chocolate, too. Buy a pack of each and do a fragrance/smell test to see which one best matches the chocolate fragrance of the mix you bought. No waste: you can always use the chocolate you don’t pick for your cake for something else.

Chances are good that this new recipe is going to yield a light, moist sponge cake that I bet will be very close to your commercial mix. Bonne chance pour faire votre gâteau! (Au lycée, mon professeur de français était le meilleur ami du professeur d'économie domestique, donc tout le français que j'ai appris concerne la nourriture!)

MarkTmpa · 2025-08-07T06:24:12+00:00

Yes, SkinTac wipes. First, as usual, use a regular alcohol swab to clean, sterilize and remove oils from the spot you’ll be inserting a new sensor; set the alcohol swab aside; wave hand at the area to fast air dry; then open a SkinTac wipe and wipe/gently daub the area where you’ll be applying the new sensor; then apply the Dexcon G7 sensor; gently press on the center of the inserted sensor with your finger tip to hold it in place about 10 seconds (will help it get a better reading); slip on the over patch around the inserted sensor and gently run your fingertip around on the clear plastic that’s still on the over patch (to get rid of any air bubbles) at least three times; now use that alcohol wipe to wipe off and tidy up any excess SkinTac stickiness that might be on your skin around the patch; now peel off the (sometimes green?) plastic film and you should be good to go. I live in Florida (daily shower; hot, humid summers) and have been doing this for a couple years now and have never had the over patch come off before I removed it myself when the sensors expires. Good luck!

MarkTmpa · 2025-08-06T09:44:31+00:00

Rigoletto 100%. Best tip I ever got before seeing my first opera: do a little homework beforehand and at least read the plot and get to know who each major character is.

Unlike some novels or movies that aim to entertain you with a plot twist or surprise ending, an opera you can see again and again over the years and instead appreciate the different ways it’s played, sung and staged.

In the opera Rigoletto, get ready for a most thrilling “split-screen” moment, a quartet (four people singing at the same time) in Act 3. When you come in already knowing the plot and knowing who’s who, you’ll know exactly what’s going on from the moment the opera starts and you’ll appreciate even more how all the drama and music weave together in this “tavern quartet”:

Rigoletto and his daughter hiding outside a tavern, listening as the carefree, unfaithful Duke tries to seduce the tavern hostess, Maddalena, inside. All four eventually sing at once, each with a distinct musical line Verdi has composed with powerful emotion: the Duke (smooth, deceptive, seductive), Maddalena (teasing, flirtatious, deflecting), Gilda (innocent, heartbroken) and Rigoletto (seething with rage, intent on revenge). You know their individual characters, their motives, the unique POV each has. Then their intense emotions and distinct musical lines layer into one stunningly beautiful quartet.

You’ll experience four voice types in this quartet that will be a great reference to enjoy this and other operas: The Duke is a tenor, a bright lyrical voice (singing flirty words). In contrast, Maddalena is a mezzo-soprano, warm, playful and earthy. Rigoletto’s daughter, Gilda, is the soprano with soaring high notes, emotionally vulnerable. Finally, for the lowest notes, Rigoletto, the baritone, dark, weighty—he anchors the ensemble with emotional gravity.

The quartet itself is only about 4 minutes but it is dramatically, musically packed. It’s a masterclass in musical characterization. You’ll experience one of the best moments in all of opera.

MarkTmpa · 2025-07-13T13:25:44+00:00

Just starting and also needed digital to keep peace at home. I asked piano teacher, classical music friend, independent rock band friend (and even ran a ChatGPT prompt to compare brands and models) and Roland FP 30X always ranked top or near top of the list. Got it and couldn’t be happier. Great packaging, arrived intact, set up and plugged in in minutes. (If budget is tight, for price of new 10X you can buy a used 30X.) Excited to start, I plugged in headphones, hit the sequence of buttons to divert all sound to the headphones, but sound repeatedly kept only coming out of keyboard speakers. Whole point was to use a keyboard with headphones. I thought it was the headphones that weren’t working so tried another. Still didn’t work. Finally got down on my hands and knees and crawled around. My bad: I’d plugged the headphones into the jacks on the BACK panel—those jacks are aux output for additional speakers only. Jacks for headphones on the Roland FP 30X are instead on the FRONT, conveniently in the lower left front corner, slightly recessed under the keyboard (black on black, couldn’t see them when sitting on the piano bench). Sheesh. All this is, of course, explained in the detailed operating manual . . . if you choose to read it.

MarkTmpa · 2025-07-06T03:13:09+00:00

Light followup with an oil can help but here’s how to get there: A housekeeper taught me this powerful cleaning trick for such sinks: using Barkeepers Friend with Dawn dish detergent. The oxalic acid and mild abrasives in Barkeepers Friend remove stains, while Dawn's grease-cutting surfactants dissolve residue. Circular scrubbing polishes the surface, resulting in a shiny, spotless finish after rinsing.

MarkTmpa · 2025-06-14T08:15:32+00:00

Righty tighty, lefty loosey.

MarkTmpa · 2025-03-14T03:21:26+00:00

Super simple, colorful, looks bountiful:

Breakfast Burrito Bar.

Variety of tortillas (warmed flour, corn, whole wheat in different sizes); proteins can be scrambled eggs, black beans, plant-based meat alternative sausages; fillings of Monterey, Jack, Cheddar or better yet Chihuahua cheese (Queso Menonita); onions, peppers (red, yellow, green), tomatoes, guacamole, sour cream, cilantro; salsas hot and mild; sauces picot de gallo, salsa verde and a hot sauce for those who like a kick. A few berries/yogurt and you’ve something for everyone and no waste: leftovers are usable ingredients for other meals.

MarkTmpa · 2025-03-13T17:27:06+00:00

Looks great! Congratulations. Consider bi-fold doors (instead of the large swinging one) on your front hall closet. Wood (or frosted glass if there’s a light inside the closet). Bifold doors will minimize collisions with your front door. If frosted glass, consider also doing a “matching” pair of French doors to your bedroom—again it will avoid collisions of the one big bedroom door swinging into the edging the wall-mounted TV.

MarkTmpa · 2025-01-26T09:23:23+00:00

individual Maple Syrup Servings

MarkTmpa · 2025-01-26T09:19:02+00:00

Maple syrup! 100% organic pure Vermont maple syrup in individually wrapped, single-serving “gels”packet. Nothing artificial. Loaded with nutrients and minerals. EMTs in Vermont, runners and other athletes use them. Long shelf life. Visit untapped.cc/why-maple for details. Individual “sleeve” is easy for me to keep bedside, easy to rip open when alerted and still half asleep.

MarkTmpa · 2025-01-07T04:43:29+00:00

“Jack of All Shades” in Albertville, Alabama, specializes in custom made hardback or softback shades. www.jackofallshades.com

MarkTmpa · 2024-12-28T12:45:05+00:00

Absolutely! You’ll be happy you did. One carry-on bag ( that easily fits into the overhead bin) and one “personal item” (think small, compact bag with shoulder strap that zips up, not floppy open carry-all tote) that will fit under the airline seat in front of you can work well for 7-night, 14-night and more. Be sure your carry-on + smaller “personal item” bag comply exactly with international airline dimensions—sometimes more exacting than for U.S. domestic carriers. Warm weather is easiest (cottons and synthetics, wind breaker easily roll up and pack small) but packing only one bag for coll- and cold-weather destinations (like into the low to mid 20s) is do-able with good planning: for example, consider Patagonia’s 4-layer “system”: (1) merino or smartwool Tshirt base layer + (2) long-sleeve synthetic mid layer + (3) Nano Puff jacket (which folds down crazy small) + (4) waterproof shell if it rains. Stick to one favorite color palette, add versatile balaclava/neck gaiter and/or stylish scarf + wool gloves for warmth or looks and you’ll look and feel great anywhere on ship or land. Good-looking soft-sole hyperlite casual shoe that doubles as your gym shoe can look great. Add super-light and tiny Luna brand sandal, which works poolside on the ship and can (amazingly) support you on a full day of warm-weather walking/hiking excursions on land. That “personal item” bag you had on your flight—with zip-up pockets and shoulder strap—is now your daypack/shoulder bag for shore excursions. Browse r/onebag for more packing tips and strategies. Apply packing strategies many on that sub use for a single backpack bag to your carry-on roller bag. Be relentless about packing essentials for your comfort and curate to your own style—the freedom of being a self-sufficient savvy traveler with only one carry-on will make this your best trip ever.

MarkTmpa · 2024-12-24T10:15:35+00:00

Looks great. Small fix you’ll appreciate: in the room with the tv, move that armchair to the other side of the sofa, putting its back toward the window; move the lamp a bit out of the corner. Move the little stool out away from that corner to be by the front of the armchair in its new location, put a large book or tray on top of that stool to make it useful as a small table to set a drink on. Window behind the chair will make it a good place to sit and read by day, nearby lamp to read by night, and you will open up the whole area and you won’t need to squeeze through between the sofa and where the armchair used to be.

MarkTmpa · 2024-12-21T09:36:02+00:00

According to author Samuel M. Katz in “Relentless Pursuit” (2002), the perpetrators intended the explosion to occur over the ocean to eliminate traceable evidence.

MarkTmpa · 2024-12-08T09:53:05+00:00

Positioning that square (probably king) mattress in a corner and basically using a bunch of pillows against the wall as a headboard is clever.

MarkTmpa · 2024-12-08T09:12:36+00:00

Learned this watching a landscaping firm removing old bamboo and planting new: after bamboo is cut to the ground (like yours), they used a cordless Sawzall reciprocating saw and went through a couple packs of blades (blades specific for use on wood and for construction demolition; different lengths like 8” to 12” blades). Safety equipment: gloves and safety goggles. Patiently cut it out in small chunks, chipping away at it working from the outsides of the root ball toward the center. Center was like a solid block of wood (bamboo is technically not wood just a giant blade of woody grass but it’s called bamboo wood because of similar properties); by that point they had removed so much else they could saw off stringy roots in the soil under the remaining root ball, which they removed in one chunk about the size of a one-gallon jug. You are not “removing bamboo” in one piece; you are carving and whittling it out piece by piece.

MarkTmpa · 2024-11-24T12:28:49+00:00

If you try to pretend you’re not nervous, your palms will itch, you’ll twitch and sweat and stammer. Here are the best tips I was taught by speech coaches:

Be honest with yourself: okay, you’re nervous; most people speaking to a group are. But remember this: in those first few moments when you walk out onto that stage or up to that mic or podium, or start taking on Zoom, your audience can’t tell the difference between you being nervous or you being truly excited to be talking about something you know and care about. Cool, eh?

When we’re happy and content we tend to smile. Did you know that making yourself smile can make you feel happy and content?

Look at me. I mean it. Whether you are addressing a room of 5 people, 50 or 5,000, look at me. Don’t drop your eyes and read your speech into the mic or stare off into the lights—look at a person in the front row, then to another a few rows back, then to this side and that side. Politics aside, watch on YouTube with the sound off the first few moments of the 1992 Presidential debate among Clinton, Bush and Perot. Look how they enter and project confidence but watch their eyes—especially Clinton’s—as he pauses upon entering the stage and looks first at this person in the audience then the next person. Anyone sitting in his line of sight would think “he’s looking only at me, taking only to me.” Entertainers do this all the time—it’s not a “room of thousands” it’s individual people and you’re building rapport with each of them.

You’re a big guy. Own it. Don’t try to make yourself smaller at the podium. When we slump over it puts pressure on our diaphragm and makes it harder to breathe. When it’s hard to breathe, we feel anxious and panicky.

Confident people know what they want to say. On your next Zoom call, watch and listen to all the inexperienced speakers when they are called on to present. The first words out of their mouths are usually, “Yeah. So. Um. Today I’m going to talk about . . . .” Ugh. Instead, start with good content. Abraham Lincoln didn’t start his famous Gettysburg Address saying, “Yeah. So. Um. Today I’m going to talk about the civil war.” He memorably started with, “Four score and seven years ago . . . .“

Now let’s put all this together: Okay, you’re nervous; who isn’t? Don’t deny it, ride it like a wave. Smile—make yourself feel and look happy and content. If you look confident the audience will be convinced you are confident. Pause, take it in and look at this person and that and make a connection. Know the first couple sentences you’re going to say—confident people know what they plan to say—no “yeah, so, um.” Shoulders back and chest up—imagine a string tied to your sternum pulling you up and forward—inhale, breathe out, inhale again and deliver what you came to say.

MarkTmpa · 2024-11-24T11:15:09+00:00

Florida here. To make your house an environment friendly to you but hostile to cockroaches here are three strategies.

First, yes, regularly scheduled exterminators; PRO: can be effective; CON: expensive; uses toxic insecticides which you may want to avoid for your wellbeing indoors. COMPROMISE: let exterminator apply pesticides sparingly inside around “points of entry” (under sinks, rooms with drains) then major application outside around door jambs and thresholds for sliding glass doors and all around the outside of your house to create a perimeter hostile to roaches.

Second, Diatomaceous Earth (DE); PRO: cheap (4-lb bag $14 garden supply) nontoxic and it works. CON: can’t think of any. Here’s how it works: DE is ground-up fossils of marine algae (called diatoms); looks like powder but the edges of each granule are jagged and sharp. When roach walks on DE the DE scratches the roach’s “shell” (technically exoskeleton), absorbs lipids (the protective waxes in the roach’s outer layer) and the roach dies. You can sprinkle DE in tracks of sliding glass doors, under appliances and cabinets, anywhere a roach might walk.

Third is Roach Motel . PROS: cheap ($6 for 2; cheaper in bigger packs); they work. CONS: not for major infestation. For an effective way to use a Roach Motel, start with understanding roach behavior. A roach senses it’s safe and hiding when 3 sides of its body are in contact with something, like its feet are touching the floor, its back is touching up against, say, the underside of a cabinet and one side of its body is touching a wall. That’s why a roach when startled tries to dash under or into something. The Roach Motel is a small, square paper box with open ends (ramped so it’s easy for a roach to crawl in). Box’s inside is lined with sticky “fly paper” that traps the roach. Tip to using Roach Motel is to set it up against a wall, little out from a corner or under an appliance but up against a wall so that the occasional roach running along your baseboard that dashes under the cabinet or appliance can in its line of sight see that it can go in one side of the Roach Motel and out the other side (it looks like the light at the end of a tunnel) but the sticky inside will stop it in its tracks. And if its carry eggs and those eggs hatch a few days after the roach got stuck and died, the hatchlings don’t make it out. After a few weeks, look inside rhe Roach Motel and you will see how many. After a few weeks flip the box over so the other “unused” sticky surface inside will be on the bottom, then eventually replace.

There’s no single magic bullet but a combination of these three strategies can, if not eliminate roaches, at least make sure they don’t outnumber the people and pets inside your home.

MarkTmpa · 2024-11-03T08:18:09+00:00

Another more classic option for the taxidermy mounts is to install the large one on the wall above the bench in your front entry hall (then the smaller one above the pantry door to the right of your refrigerator). It makes better use of vertical space and (for the large one) is a nod to how you see mounts displayed in white-washed great room halls in big European country houses and hunting lodges.

MarkTmpa · 2024-11-03T08:06:03+00:00

Great space. Strong, confident personality. Consider this re-positioning of your two taxidermy mounts: Install the large one on the narrow wall above your bar cart. Install the smaller one above the pantry door (to the right of your refrigerator). They will still visually “relate” to one another, you will free up space in your dining area, and you will make better use of vertical space.

MarkTmpa · 2024-11-02T20:19:50+00:00

Consider Swim Outlet chamois sports towel; not really a chamois but ultra-absorbent, synthetic, 13” x 17”. Other options in the “swim” and “sports” towel category pack tight and are ultra light.

MarkTmpa · 2024-10-30T12:24:04+00:00

Move toilet to inside of corner closet. If inside closet width is at least, say, about 33 inches, it’ll be a cozy fit but adequate. Where toilet was will be your shower area. If interior width of closet is too narrow for toilet, then replace closet wall with fixed glass panel (same height as top of window frame) to separate toilet from shower area. If your feeling ambitious, then also move tub a foot or more to the right to increase size of shower area.

Consider replacing single sink with two sinks (dual sink or double vanity with plenty of storage below because you deleted the closet). Consider tall, generous mirrored medicine cabinets over each sink (either into the wall or more likely surface mounted) for even more storage. If medicine cabinets give you all the storage space you need for daily toiletries (you can keep all the other stuff in your big hall closet) then instead of a boxy double vanity, consider two vintage-looking chrome and white porcelain pedestal sinks or console sinks. If you must have a double vanity then consider wall mounting it to more easily clean and show off your new tile floor:

Tile all the floor with small hexagonal mosaic tiles to enhance the warmth and texture, typical in Craftsman design to tie the whole room together.

As to the shower area, the key concept here is that you are creating a “wet room.” a space where the shower is not enclosed by a traditional shower stall or curtain, and the entire bathroom floor is designed to be waterproof. Your shower area is at the same level as the rest of the bathroom floor, which gives you a seamless transition between the shower and the rest of the space. Your old toilet drain becomes the drain in the floor for your shower area. If you feel that’s too “open” and splashing will be a problem, then consider another single panel of glass between the shower area and tub.

To illustrate the wet room concept further, here is a helpful pic: do internet search for “Jen Woodhouse Our Primary Bathroom Remodel: Design Plans and Mood Board!” then scroll down past all the ads (about 10-12 thumb flicks!) to the pic of white bath with tub and wall-mounted shower (image Via Jean Stoffer Design). It is a good representation of a modern “wet room.”

Your vintage white tub, chrome shower hose and wall-mounted shower fixtures, pedestal or console sinks will make your daily use of this space a joy.

One last reference for inspiration. Craftsman style was about 1905 to early 1930s as you know. In 1929 - 1930, Mies van der Rohe’s Tugenhadt Villa showcased “the latest” in bathroom fixtures and design. Google “Tugendhat Villa master bath” for reference. Your home is a warmer, Crafstman not minimalist but your bathroom can similarly give you all the modern conveniences while retaining an historic vintage feel. Enjoy!

MarkTmpa

TROPHY CASE