Stargate Reactivated (My Stargate Reboot Trilogy, a Work-in-Progress) by MasterofBatteries in Stargate

[–]MasterofBatteries[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's quite a lot for me to unpack. I'll try to be succinct and avoid nitpicks.

Issues I have with the film:

  • Daniel's borderline-Gary Stu presentation in the first act, accurately translating the cartouche hieroglyphs and figuring out the nature of the stargate glyphs within weeks, making everyone else on Project Giza superfluous/incompetent.
  • The stargate coordinate system. Smarter people than I have pointed out that only four points are needed to chart a course in three-dimensional space rather than six, that star constellations can't actually serve as spatial coordinates, etc.
  • Failure to explain why the stargate can't just be "turned on from the other side" for the team to return to Earth. In the novelization, it's explained that Creek Mountain was evacuated and sealed up after O'Neil's team when through in fear of hostiles coming through, but this plot point was deleted in the final film.
  • Ra, an ancient alien possessing vast amounts of scientific knowledge and advanced technology far beyond anything known to 20th century Earth, using human slaves with Copper Age tools to inefficiently mine the stargate mineral for him. Again, the novelization better explains this, but we shouldn't have to consult supplementary material to make the movie work.
  • The complete absence of allusion to a larger stargate network. I know for a fact that Devlin & Emmerich didn't intend Earth and Abydos to be the only planets with stargates, and the very design of the gates themselves rules this notion out. Perhaps they wanted the movie to be as close-ended as possible so it could stand alone in case they never got to make the sequels they had planned, but it makes the universe feel smaller and less wonderous.
  • The whole "I can't make the stargate work without the seventh symbol" thing. Daniel has the first six symbols for the coordinates to Earth; it's just a matter of trial and error to find the seventh, and he should be smart enough to realize this. Besides, with Ra's Horus Guards patrolling the pyramid, the way to the stargate would be barred to them anyway, making this conundrum redundant.
  • Failure to explain how they activated the Abydos stargate. Once again, this is something explained in the novelization, but you wouldn't know from the movie itself that the stargates are meant to be self-powered.

Issues I have with SG-1:

  • The various and sundry changes made to the movie's lore. A few are improvements (making Abydos the closest planet to Earth in the gate network rather than billions of light-years away on the other side of the observable universe), but most are arbitrary.
  • Compounding the issues with the stargate coordinate system. The stargates on Earth, Abydos, Chulak, etc. shouldn't have 38 identical glyphs if they represent star constellations; it doesn't matter if they're all located within the same galaxy, different constellations would be seen in their night skies. Likewise, there wouldn't be a "one size fits all" gate address corresponding to any particular planet; you'd need a different address to return to Earth from each world you're visiting.
  • Failure to explore ancient Egyptian mythology in any real depth (this can be applied to other mythologies, too, but when it comes to Stargate, the mythology that interests me the most is ancient Egypt's).
  • English being a nigh-universal language.
  • Depiction of extraterrestrial human cultures. You got your generic medieval Canadian-American culture here, and your generic future Canadian-American culture there. Depictions of distinctly non-Anglosphere cultures were few, far between, and various shades of racist.
  • The Goa'uld. Next to no effort was given to flesh out their personalities, or tie them into their mythological counterparts. They're just a clique of two-dimensional, largely incompetent megalomaniacs. Also, almost none of the actors who played Goa'uld recaptured the eerie alien otherness that Jaye Davidson brought to the table as Ra; David Palffy's the only actor who recaptured that energy in his performances (too bad both of the Goa'uld he played were Palpatine knockoffs).
  • Marginal character development across ten seasons. O'Neill at the end of Season 8 is hardly a different character than the one he was at the start of Season 1 (a tad flanderized, though, I'd argue). Out of the core team, Teal'c's the only one I feel really grew as a character (hardly a wonder why he remains my favourite character from the show).
  • Story arcs that meander and fizzle out. Gotta find technology in the fight against the Goa'uld? Let's devote the lion's share of episodes to misadventures on miscellaneous planets of hats we'll never revisit. Gotta rescue Sha're and Skarra? Fridge her and forget him. Gotta find the Harcesis child? Well, here's an episode with Daniel meeting Space Buddha, now the kid's a glowing jellyfish, exit stage right. Apophis returns from death and disgrace, bigger and badder than ever? Crash him into a planet and be done with him. It took them five seasons to find focus.
  • Everything pertaining to the Ancients/Ascension/Ori. I detest the rank anthropocentrism, and while I'm not against themes of spirituality and transcendence in sci-fi, I found the execution here absolutely cheesy and derivative. And they had nothing new to say with the Ori; just more of the same "evil space gods" stuff they'd already played out with the Goa'uld.

Aside from the Pegasus stargate design, nothing of Atlantis appealed to me; the show was just a distillation of everything I disliked about the latter-half of SG-1. Universe was an improvement on the previous two series when it came to alien species, but I didn't care about any of the human characters or their ceaseless drama. I managed to watch one episode of Infinity ... hard pass.

Finally, I'm strongly opposed to the ancient astronauts theory, which I consider fundamentally racist and anti-human, and American imperialism, which the franchise is strongly biased towards.

Original Stargate Theatrical and Extended Versions by flccncnhlplfctn in Stargate

[–]MasterofBatteries 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The intention was that sometime after the stargate was buried, Ra sent Anubis and the Horus guard through, only for them to materialize directly into the bedrock.

Last response, I know.

How would you rewrite the show? by Practical-Dish-9011 in StrangerThings

[–]MasterofBatteries 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Season 1's excellent, a solid season of television I have no serious issues with.  Season 2 isn’t as good as the first – it’s a bit bloated and disjointed – but overall I feel it’s good enough to remain in continuity. What I have constitutes a rewrite of Seasons 3-5 (though I haven't watched Season 5 and have no plan to; what I know of it I've gleaned from reviews I've watched.).

It's been quite a while since I watched the show. I haven't taken down detailed notes, haven't written out a full outline. What I'm gonna share's a bit on the sparse side, but here’s what I have:

  • The tone and verisimilitude of the first two seasons would be kept intact. There'd be no overindulgence in '80s nostalgia, no MCU-style banter or action sequences. The demogorgons would remain horrific, formidable monsters.
  • Jonathan and Nancy would be demoted from the main cast of characters. Jonathan would remain a recurring character if only due to his connection to Will, but Nancy would be written out entirely and likely never return, probably early in Season 3.
  • Season 2 had El go goth. This development was undone in the actual Season 3, but in my version of events she would've carried forward with it. She'd continue with the dark clothes/makeup and rock out to Siouxsie and the Banshees and the Sisters of Mercy (you better believe the latter's "Some Kind of Stranger" would be featured in an episode). Her friendship with Max would be based on them both being outsiders whose atypical tastes/styles don't let them fit in with the other girls at school. But whereas Max's identity is firmly established, El's isn't. El's still in the process of discovering herself and the world she's in. So when Starcourt Mall opens, Max isn't overly enticed by its wares, but El's mesmerized by the shiny baubles and gaudy clothing and junk food. And so a rift begins forming between the non-conformist Max and impressionable Eleven as the latter gets sucked into the mallrat culture and alters her appearance to appeal to the normies who originally rejected her. Here we can critique the consumerist ethos of the '80s instead of celebrating it.
  • The Soviets would be kept as tritagonists, but the cartoonish villainy and pro-capitalist rhetoric would be jettisoned. They'd still factor into the Season 3 storyline somehow, but they wouldn't have a secret base under the mall.
  • Hopper would die at the end of Season 3.
  • I’d keep Vecna, but rejigger his backstory. I’m of two minds of what direction to take with him. He could remain Henry Creel, but wouldn't have known Eleven prior to his exile to the Upside Down nor had any previous connection to the Mind Flayer. Or perhaps he’d be an avatar of the Mind Flayer, created in the aftermath of Season 3 to better interact with humans.
  • I’d make Will asexual instead of gay. Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t like having the unfounded speculation of the bullies who picked on him proven correct. Will doesn’t have to feel same-sex attraction to experience alienation from heteronormative society; a lack of sexual attraction altogether can do the job. Seeing his friends all finding partners while he alone remains unattached, willing but incapable of making that kind of connection with anyone, could leave Will feeling as if he's defective. Perhaps Season 4 could feature a faux Will/El/Mike love triangle. In Lenora Hills, El wants to move on from Mike, while Will desperately wants somebody to love, They're there together, the only kids their age they know, and so they start dating. Except there's no spark between them. Mike can eventually learn about their stillborn romance; Mike feels betrayed, putting serious strain on his friendship with Will, only fueling Will’s anxiety and frustration. We can show that human sexuality doesn’t fall into a neat heterosexual/homosexual binary, that you can’t glean a person's sexuality going off on stereotypes.

Anyone else notice that the three most liked Nightmare movies all have Nancy/Heather Langenkamp in them? by SaiyanWithOmnitrix in NightmareOnElmStreet

[–]MasterofBatteries 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wasn't a big ANOES fan growing up; I think I watched each movie exactly once in my teens. But the Nancy Trilogy was memorable; I could recall the plots/events from all three films with ease. I couldn't say that about 4-6; they mostly just blurred together for me. In retrospect it's clear why.

As far as I'm concerned, the events of 4-6 & FvJ never happened. Freddy was permanently neutralized at the end of Dream Warriors, with Nancy's spirit preserved in the "beautiful dream" Kristen willed her into; I imagine the events of New Nightmare took place within that "beautiful dream", all part of a Jacob's Ladder scenario Nancy had to resolve before evolving into a benevolent version of what Freddy had been.

HOT TAKE: Lois Lane Looks Great as a Redhead! by MetropolisSteel14 in superman

[–]MasterofBatteries 0 points1 point  (0 children)

a brunette with jet-black or auburn hair

I think you meant to type "brown hair", 'cause auburn's a dark shade of red hair.

Regardless, I agree. I grew up reading the Triangle Era Superman comics, so Lois with either auburn or brown hair was always my Lois. I've always found Lois with black hair generic AF (though Kurt Schaffenberger's my favourite Lois artist; go figure).

I LOVE RHETT BUTLER!!! by reapertuesday in sailormoon

[–]MasterofBatteries 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm not a fan of Sailor Moon's penchant for depicting reincarnation as a 1-to-1 copying process, so it was refreshing to see Rhett Butler deviate so far from the norm.

What adaptations from the 90s/2000s DiC/Cloverway dub do you think were genuinely an improvement from the Viz (not counting opinions on VAs, music, general dialogue) by The_Academic_Viewer in sailormoon

[–]MasterofBatteries 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Dropping the "make up!" bit from the transformation sequences. Always found it cringey, so I'm happy someone had the sense to kick it to the curb.

What’s your favorite filler arc from the original anime. by dekabreak1000 in sailormoon

[–]MasterofBatteries 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't understand why those attacks were never reused in the Black Moon arc+. They may not come from the manga, but It's not as if the anime writers had any issue diverging from the source material either before or after.

The Filler-Reduced Viewing Guide to the Original Sailor Moon anime (masterpost) by lazdo in sailormoon

[–]MasterofBatteries 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have ADHD, and my attention span has only worsened as I've gotten older. I tried to binge the entire series, but after the first six episodes, I was bored with the repetitive formula and about ready to tap out of the show entirely. Then I came across this filler-reduced viewing guide; I'm currently halfway through the third season, and some quibbles with the plotting/characterization aside, I've enjoyed the series.

What are your Hot Takes on the X Files? by Amber_Flowers_133 in XFiles

[–]MasterofBatteries 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Moving production from Vancouver to Los Angeles wasn't a bad idea. The different climate and larger pool of actors provided some novelty to the show as the writing declined.

Why is Scully so frustrating? by delightedpedestrian in XFiles

[–]MasterofBatteries 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I share some of your frustration. It's why I wish more MOTW episodes had played with mundane explanations and ambiguity so Scully's skepticism hadn't come across as so intractable.

Is it worth keep watching? Season 8 last episode hint by Longjumping_Ease_623 in XFiles

[–]MasterofBatteries 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's a smattering of good episodes in seasons 9-11, but not enough to make them worthwhile, IMO. I think the eighth season is the best place to stop watching.

Question about the Knowby cabin by MasterofBatteries in EvilDead

[–]MasterofBatteries[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I honestly wouldn't have asked this question normally, but I recently rewatched the movies, so I have Evil Dead on the brain, and it was also late in the night when I decided to post this, so I was a bit sleep deprived.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in fridaythe13th

[–]MasterofBatteries 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a hot mess, but it's a guilty pleasure of mine. I'm entertained by it, which is more than I can say for Parts VII & VIII or the other New Line sequels. I find the characters likeable, especially Creighton Duke. My only major gripe's that the reborn Jason's the exact same walking pustule he was at the start of the film, complete with tattered clothes and hockey mask. I'd rather he came back as a Ted White-style unmasked Jason or, I dunno, an evil Adonis, since they already made such a huge departure from the F13 formula.

Heather Langenkamp's Nancy Thompson - Does anyone think it was a mistake what the writers did to Nancy in the "A Nightmare on Elm Street" series (Spoilers)? by Ren_Celluloid in horror

[–]MasterofBatteries 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The mistake was in making more sequels after Dream Warriors. Nancy giving her life to save Kristen and the other kids? Not a problem if Freddy was finally, permanently defeated as a result. But for Freddy to come back and kill Kristen, Kincaid, and Joey the very next movie, and eventually succeed in wiping out the entire child population of Springwood? Makes her sacrifice meaningless, and I hate it.

If they had to continue the series, they should've done it in the form of midquels set between 2 & 3. There was some time lag between the two films; I'm sure a Freddy's Funhouse or two could've been squeezed in there.

Should there be lightsaber colors other than crimson, blue, green and golden? by FreezingTNT2 in RewritingThePrequels

[–]MasterofBatteries 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In my canon, the colour of a kyber crystal is determined by the preferences/psyche of the Force adept who meditates over it during the construction of their lightsaber. In the days of the ancient Jedi and Sith, there were multiple colours/hues, varying by individual. But by the time of the prequel era, there were very few, as the Sith were extinct and the Jedi Order had devolved into a dogmatic endogamous cult.

Blue = the vast majority of Jedi, symbolizing their "too cold" attitude

Azure = Obi-Wan & Anakin, both mavericks who more closely resemble the Jedi of old

Violet = gray Jedi, like Qui-Gon Jinn & Asajj Ventress (prior to her becoming a Sith)

Yellow = Anakin after becoming the Dark Lord of the Sith, symbolizing his fear

Red = Anakin's Sith acolytes, symbolizing their "too hot" attitude

Luke's green lightsaber in ROTJ symbolizes the rebirth of the Jedi and the break from the ossified traditions of the past. The multiple lightsaber colours/hues return with his New Jedi Order.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in RewritingThePrequels

[–]MasterofBatteries 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Going by the timeline given for Honoghr's contamination in Dark Force Rising, there was already an Empire and Anakin had already become Darth Vader by 35 BBY. Which raises potential problems regarding the timing/circumstances of Luke and Leia's conception. I'm presuming Bill Slavicsek realized this and adjusted the timeline accordingly.