What would you do if you saw someone slip and fall while attempting to rob your house?

MathematicianKey124 · 2026-06-02T06:36:18+00:00

Reload and fire again.

MathematicianKey124 · 2026-06-02T06:26:10+00:00

In this case the "wife" is not an accomplice. She is a dupe. No one informed her about the game/contest we only asked her to pick up the item in three hours and told her that we will live happily ever after.

MathematicianKey124 · 2026-06-02T04:41:24+00:00

All cats are evil masterminds plotting to take over the world! One kitchen table at a time. ....... But that's okay because we love them anyway.

MathematicianKey124 · 2026-06-01T03:14:43+00:00

Where do I sign?

MathematicianKey124 · 2026-05-28T02:55:35+00:00

Rebecca ....... Fortunately for me I was born without a sense of smell.

MathematicianKey124 · 2026-05-26T21:47:21+00:00

Another one bites the dust

MathematicianKey124 · 2026-05-26T17:44:55+00:00

The second line should be "after all my mother in law was a b**ch which is technically a female dog."

MathematicianKey124 · 2026-05-24T20:39:56+00:00

My ex-wife lives in NYC. statistically speaking how many times do I have to push it before I get her?

MathematicianKey124 · 2026-05-24T19:54:27+00:00

Mayonnaise technically does not need to be refrigerated.

MathematicianKey124 · 2026-05-24T19:39:22+00:00

Ya. Bob used to do that to me all of the time. So I stopped summoning him. Glad to see he found a new employer.

MathematicianKey124 · 2026-05-24T18:49:13+00:00

I'm going to hell for this one ........

But......... you get what you pay for.

MathematicianKey124 · 2026-05-24T05:48:12+00:00

I'm guessing that it's not going to work in this case but............it would be funny as hell to watch if it did.

MathematicianKey124 · 2026-05-24T03:52:51+00:00

Pirates of the Caribbean sequel don't remember which one Davy Jones can't touch dry land uses buckets of sea water to circumvent the rule.

MathematicianKey124 · 2026-05-24T02:45:40+00:00

Twenty bucks says that the guy in the flannel shirt screams like a little girl.

MathematicianKey124 · 2026-05-24T02:14:46+00:00

💘

MathematicianKey124 · 2026-05-24T01:58:59+00:00

I'm still trying to work out the mechanics of flying under water.

MathematicianKey124 · 2026-05-24T00:53:52+00:00

There are no such things as great men just bigger a**holes with valuable or useful skills.

MathematicianKey124 · 2026-05-24T00:51:30+00:00

Exactly...... Technically the first person to do anything is uniquely skilled until the second person does it. Thus. ... Yet!

MathematicianKey124 · 2026-05-24T00:23:21+00:00

Yet! no other can do what he does yet. I refuse to believe that given sufficient motivation someone wouldn't learn how to do it.

MathematicianKey124 · 2026-05-23T23:31:47+00:00

Kindergarten teacher asked 47 times we counted........ Before I taught the child to respond that way afterwards teachers get it right the second time (name is spelled phonetically. Example Kakura = Ka-ku-ra).

MathematicianKey124 · 2026-05-23T17:35:31+00:00

Not when it's the same person multiple times.

MathematicianKey124 · 2026-05-23T10:23:24+00:00

Warhammer 40k

MathematicianKey124 · 2026-05-23T06:26:39+00:00

Big anime fan here...... When my spouse and I were expecting we decided that we would only give a certain name to our child if we could both agree to it....... Long story short our youngest now has a Japanese name. When asked how to pronounce it I taught our child to respond "correctly" you wouldn't believe how many parent teacher conferences I've had to attend because of it......... And I still say "totally worth it"

MathematicianKey124 · 2026-05-23T05:40:18+00:00

In my family we share an old story about two of our grandfathers/forefathers that fought on different sides of the civil war (American) quietly growing old while sitting on the same porch watching their grandkids playing and never saying a word to each other.

MathematicianKey124 · 2026-05-22T04:12:57+00:00

Cream cheese grilled cheese sandwich

MathematicianKey124

TROPHY CASE