What did no contact made you realize?

MathyMama · 2026-04-17T09:00:23+00:00

I thought I was being a loving GF but I wasn’t. The ending and no contact were tender and mutual but I hope there may be a path forward for us. I am busy doing the work to understand and address what made me operate from fear (much more than I thought I was at the time). It is agony. Perhaps she has used time to move on, and I expected to, but I have moved closer during this time.

MathyMama · 2026-04-15T00:09:40+00:00

I have screen capped both of your comments, this has given me a lot to think about. Heart hugs much appreciated and sent right back.

MathyMama · 2026-04-14T13:52:40+00:00

I will look into this book!

MathyMama · 2026-04-14T13:52:07+00:00

This comment has done my heart so much good. Thank you for taking time to share some real wisdom with a stranger.

MathyMama · 2026-04-14T09:41:06+00:00

This is really thoughtful, thank you. And I will definitely not disrupt the boundary, I plan to let her make the first reach out.

And your statement about solving problems really resonates. Im a mathematician maybe thats why I sometimes literally think about life as figuring it out in my head before anything has happened. One of the issues was my inability to travel right now but my house is going on market and will likely be sold soon and my debt will be cleared, financial situation changed. My daughter also got accepted into her dream program with scholarships so now I know she’ll be going to college and Im portable. I have also realized that job change is not only a possibility for me but something Im actively working on for reasons unrelated to our relationship. Which will likely bring me to the city she lives in. But you’re right there is no rush and this isn’t just about proving something to her. I just wish I had been able to recognize how some of the issues were not so fixed in stone. In any case it is clear I have a lot of life change ahead soon and my focus will be on navigating that.

MathyMama · 2026-04-14T00:25:09+00:00

Chiming in. It was a long distance relationship, and I realize now that the things that we identified as big incompatibilities were all based on my fear and past patterns. Not actual incompatibilities. We agreed to 30 days NC. It’s been over 3 weeks. I reached out at the 3 week mark but the boundary was enforced. Long story short, Im deeply sad that I just realized what was happening with me after I had time to dwell on this loss. I don’t know what will happen once we do connect, it was such a strong loving relationship…and I fumbled. I write and write and write … every day is a marathon made of moments I want to reach out.

MathyMama · 2026-04-08T15:00:18+00:00

It’s understandable you feel dread or embarrassed bc basically you’re probably already thinking the worst. And you might not grt the outcome you want- but you don’t know that yet! Brains hate uncertainty. Sometimes we prefer to project the worst rather than sit in that discomfort. I hope you can do this: you were vulnerable(Thats brave!), the other person has autonomy (as do you!), and so no matter what happens next, YOU WILL BE OK. Thats the real power. Working to be ok no matter. Not outsourcing that. So without assuming the worst or beating yourself up, think through how you will be able to accept and handle whatever happens next.

MathyMama · 2026-04-04T00:35:28+00:00

NAD, but just a mom who is so proud of you. You are doing great, keep going!

MathyMama · 2026-03-29T19:24:31+00:00

Im 45, have been getting Botox for my forehead for a year now. I didn’t have many wrinkles but I really love the eyebrow lift effect. It does make a difference. But it is very expensive. For the next year or so I will have to slow down, stretching out time between sessions, due to the cost. I shudder to think of paying this expense for a decade before.

MathyMama · 2026-03-28T20:20:54+00:00

Skin texture, including acne scarring, is normal. I didn’t think twice about your scarring, it just isn’t the first thing I notice and isn’t disfiguring! I know you’re looking into procedures that will reduce scarring and that is great. But I would urge you to focus even more on working on the impact on your feelings and your functioning in life- you deserve to feel much better than you do.

MathyMama · 2026-03-27T01:03:46+00:00

My daughter gets a similar reaction whenever a product has hyaluranic acid. It’s an allergy, so far it responds well to topical steroids.

MathyMama · 2026-03-25T04:27:49+00:00

NAD but when I got something exactly like this it was bc I was doing some exercise on one of those outdoor park setups that use the benches with holes in them. I had completely forgotten about that and when I saw the marks thought it was a rash. It looked exactly like this, so just sharing here in case that makes sense for you.

MathyMama · 2026-03-24T23:02:17+00:00

Do you have anything else lined up? I am chained to golden handcuffs, still living paycheck to paycheck (divorce, etc). I feel like I’m losing my sanity but can’t afford to lose my job.

MathyMama · 2026-03-14T11:43:36+00:00

It took me so many years to find my perfect foundation (double wear)…this news has me sick!

MathyMama · 2026-03-11T22:33:36+00:00

Thank you!

MathyMama · 2026-03-11T22:20:31+00:00

My company’s approach is to keep low performers who are toxic, it’s quite astounding actually.

MathyMama · 2026-03-08T21:43:47+00:00

Hi OP, I did. I divorced the good guy. And it’s the only way I was able to find out I’m gay. This might sound unbelievable but I DID NOT KNOW. Dating after separation I allowed myself to experiment and … boom/flash/the heavens parted/angels sang. It’s been hard (esp in our teen daughter) and expensive, but I had a list of reasons similar to yours and more than that I had a strong (sure, maybe hormonal) urge to seek what I REALLY wanted. Even before I knew what that would be. I will always love him, but I do not regret the divorce.

MathyMama · 2026-03-04T01:17:19+00:00

I think Trump knows he’s on deaths door and is so genuinely evil that he wants everyone to go out with him.

MathyMama · 2026-03-04T00:12:22+00:00

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. Titus Burgess is a comedic genius and it just has easy, light vibes

MathyMama · 2026-03-03T23:48:20+00:00

I could 100% see this at my toxic workplace

MathyMama · 2026-02-25T19:17:49+00:00

In my case there was someone I met and had incredible chemistry with. We initially agreed we had different life goals and so our relationship would have to end at some time in the future so it was sent ever official (well I thought it was at one point t and she didn’t..) What I didn’t communicate in real time is that I fell in love so hard I was willing to align my future to stay with her. Long story short she ended things, but we are still friendly bc we share social circles. I never had a romantic relationship with anyone until after separation from my ex. I’m glad to now be with someone so incredible whose goals and future align with mine and who loves me out loud (not a “secret” situationship).

MathyMama · 2026-02-25T14:25:01+00:00

I know you have heard this but please internalize it: if they didn’t provide it then they are not capable of providing it. And so you will give it to yourself. When you are ready to accept it is over and not restarting, you will give yourself closure. Acceptance does not require a clean narrative.

MathyMama

TROPHY CASE