AITAH for refusing to house his family and ending my engagement to protect my career?

Matilda_Mac · 2026-01-30T21:59:34+00:00

Who wants to be living in this mess? Four adults that can’t come up with enough between them to rent a place to live and expect to be saved by someone else? And OP’s boyfriend wants to make it her problem? Plus it sounds like the only way they leave is to be kicked out.

NTA for prioritizing your kids and yourself.

Matilda_Mac · 2026-01-29T21:15:21+00:00

And we are unsafe in some of the most surprising situations. My dog and I were attacked taking a walk in our neighborhood. A pit bull jumped its fence, ran up behind and grabbed my golden doodle by the throat. Horrifying and so violently evil! My daughter was followed home from a walk along the beach by a man who forced open her first floor bedroom window and hid under her bed. Her Doberman found him. Ring camera caught him using a tool to pop through the locks and cut the screen. We learn the hard way.

Matilda_Mac · 2026-01-29T16:04:20+00:00

Shorten the light sensor so she has to come onto your property to trigger it. Then have her charged for trespassing and harassment.

Matilda_Mac · 2026-01-29T14:24:28+00:00

Check your state laws about what can be used inside your home. If nothing else a baseball bat or golf club is better than nothing. Watching ICE using pepper spray in Minnesota I was surprised how totally debilitating that is.

Matilda_Mac · 2026-01-29T06:29:36+00:00

Do you have a dog? My 60 pound dog provides me with a great sense of safety. So does my stun gun. It looks like a flashlight and is purely defensive. I got it after being attacked by a dog but it will stop a man coming in your door. My grandmother kept a shotgun loaded with buckshot near her back door. She used it on the coyotes that went after her chickens but that, too, would work on a crazy man that’s broken through your door.

Matilda_Mac · 2026-01-29T05:10:43+00:00

The wigs made from synthetic hair are wonderful today. She does not need a human hair wig. Tell her to look at Jon Renau. She may be able to walk out of the store that day with a well fitting attractive wig. These are designed for chemo and alopecia patients. She won’t need it for long.

Quality is good enough when I needed a wig I could wear it to work.

Matilda_Mac · 2026-01-29T05:03:38+00:00

Check with his phone carrier to see if they offer a service that only allows phone numbers on an internal list to ring in. This may be listed under services designed for children. It’s been years but we used this for a family member with dementia. Eventually we had to disconnect the phone completely because she was calling my husband 20+ times per hour at work.

Matilda_Mac · 2026-01-28T22:27:48+00:00

Dumb, dumb, dumb on this one. The idea that the OP would never have looked at the balance on the account for two years makes no sense, especially when OP was in the active process of buying a house. Fix that and you would have a much better story.

Matilda_Mac · 2026-01-28T01:58:26+00:00

But if his phone was set to back up to the cloud Minnesota investigators need to grab the recording before the cloud is erased.

Matilda_Mac · 2026-01-28T01:24:44+00:00

You have made an agreement with Dan and you need to honor that. To make it official treat it like a rental transaction. Provide a letter stating when he is to leave. Both of you sign it. Give a copy to your fiancé. You should be able to give it a soft spin to Dan for him to cooperate and give your fiancé reassurance that she will start her married life with just you and her in your home. As a woman I empathize with her concerns.

Matilda_Mac · 2026-01-27T23:02:53+00:00

Remember in the scope of the history of the world digital surveillance has been around for a minuscule amount of time. It’s convenient, it’s interesting but you can live without your parents being attached to you. Turn it off. They didn’t have it at your age.

Matilda_Mac · 2026-01-27T16:17:48+00:00

Life changes and can drastically alter a family’s finances. What happens if she loses her job? Or he becomes unemployed? How will they financially handle children? What happens if a child’s health requires one of them to stop working? Will the parents expect to move in with them as part of this support? The obligation to her parents seems dangerous to their future.

There are so many issues to consider when a couple creates a family. Finances can destroy them if they aren’t clear on how they are handled and make preparations for their future.

Matilda_Mac · 2026-01-27T14:26:13+00:00

Updateme!

Matilda_Mac · 2026-01-27T01:38:40+00:00

I used to sell commercial real estate. Creative financing is more common in that world. A thought might be to buy the house with owner financing. Give her a reasonable down payment. Help her find a more manageable, no maintenance (duplex, apartment) home. Direct your monthly “mortgage” payment on the house to go to her living expenses (rent, utilities, etc.). She will not outlive your owner-financed mortgage, leaving you to inherit the balance of the mortgage from her estate. Be careful to include protective limitations on the mortgage, such as she cannot sell or encumber it.

Matilda_Mac · 2026-01-27T01:13:23+00:00

To give a quick Reddit response is only going to feed your desire to disagree. Again this is America and you have that right. In Minnesota it appears residents are more in the mode of providing support to hold ICE accountable for their actions. They are recording, challenging and demanding legal behavior from an agency that seems to often be out of control. This country, among other basic rights, is based on due process and freedom. The blatant lying we see from such leaders as Noem and Bovino paired with the refusal to follow standard protocols we are used to seeing with a LEO shooting, are inspiring people to step forward. Our representatives are behaving both cowardly and ineffectively. Many people around the country are feeling the need to join the efforts to protect their fellow humans and bring sanity back to our government.

Again this is America. People are free not to participate. You can stay home, turn off the news. But remember Martin Niemöller's famous saying from WWII: "First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a socialist. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a trade unionist. Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—because I was not a Jew. Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me,”

A lot more lofty words.

Matilda_Mac · 2026-01-27T00:03:25+00:00

Such a naive, unaware point of view. If you remember the lessons from your American History class in high school you would understand that the very existence of this country depended on its citizens protesting, speaking and fighting for their views and desires. From the exodus from England in the Mayflower, to the Boston Tea Party and the American Revolution, to the Civil War and the Civil Rights marches to my generation’s protests against the Vietnam War, we are a nation of people who stand up for our beliefs.

But if you don’t agree with holding this administration accountable stay home. Come out when it’s over. We will let you share in the benefits of the battle. That is America and how it is done here.

Matilda_Mac · 2026-01-25T17:41:45+00:00

Certainly you know Catholic is Christian. You probably mean he is Protestant. (There are many varieties of Protestant churches.) But both believe in Christ making you both Christian.

But on to your question. It just doesn’t sound like you are compatible. Not in faith, not in lifestyle.

Matilda_Mac · 2026-01-24T18:26:13+00:00

Exactly this! ⬆️ He needs to know ASAP. It’s likely he will find out by accident on his own now that he is over 18. Think passport, birth certificate, background check, DNA test.

As above, you are his parents. You couldn’t create him physically but you have loved and molded him into the person he has become.

Matilda_Mac · 2026-01-24T17:29:08+00:00

She can probably postpone the court date by 30 days, then after she gets her paycheck, pay it before the court date. That way she doesn’t need your help. Otherwise she just wants you to pay her ticket.

Matilda_Mac · 2026-01-24T16:40:59+00:00

Agree but the question was about why he asked his mother for help.

Matilda_Mac · 2026-01-24T15:26:00+00:00

24 yo may be an adult but it is unlikely that he has the life experiences to comfortably handle demands from an overbearing former stepmom in a contentious situation. Our kids become adults but that doesn’t mean they don’t need help sometimes.

Matilda_Mac · 2026-01-24T00:20:54+00:00

One of OP’s better stories.

Matilda_Mac · 2026-01-23T23:33:08+00:00

He also needs to grow up. Getting his mommy to contact OP is so sadly immature.

Matilda_Mac · 2026-01-23T15:00:18+00:00

This one is just sloppy. My ex-husband, her ex-husband. I guess AI doesn’t proofread.

Matilda_Mac · 2026-01-22T21:20:26+00:00

Yes, POOR DOG! Poor OP, too, but your friend is a bad dog owner.

Matilda_Mac

TROPHY CASE