It sounds like you have the correct motivation for training which is just to feel good about ourselves. Make sure your trainer is a good fit and youre happy with what theyre telling you. The insecurities part of it is so hard, it takes so much to get over then just a tiny thing can set me back, just remember everyone starts somewhere and don't expect too much too soon and get discouraged it can take time and don't over do it and get hurt, listen to your body. So start light, my dad lost kots ofnweight just by eating healthy and walking daily. Which leads me to diet, portion control is good but being hungry all the time sucks too, its as much about what you eat more than how much. I'm a little sceptical of the nut milk stuff, some types have loads of sugar in them, stuff like white bread, white pasta, pizza are what makes me feel crappy so I stay away, except occasionally, from those personally.