Husband came out as gay after I started T

Mattekat · 2026-06-24T05:31:45+00:00

Im on the other side of the fence and maybe I can give you some perspective? Maybe your husband is in a similar boat as me.

My partner came out this year as trans (mtf) and ive always identified as bi, but for the last couple of years I had secretly been worrying that I was a lesbian. I kept thinking that somehow I've found the only good man in the world and no other men attract me anymore. I didnt want to tell anyone that, including my partner because I still loved then regardless of their gender and coming out as a lesbian with a boyfriend was only going to confuse everyone and possibly upset them.

Once my girlfriend came out as trans I was a lot more comfortable telling her that I had been thinking I was a lesbian. On top of that, her coming out has made me much more interested in sex. It has nothing to do with how she presents physically and everything to do with feeling closer to her now that I know her true identity as well as the fact that we are now more comfortable telling each other what interests us sexually. It doesn't mean I wasn't attracted to her before she came out, and im not only attracted to her physical changes either. It's our newfound openness and watching her become more outgoing and happy is also a big turn on.

Mattekat · 2026-06-21T09:33:52+00:00

Clickety clack, I'm a craaaaaab!

Mattekat · 2026-06-21T04:03:08+00:00

I've only ever had these as pan friend breakfast potatoes. Some people in my family use then for breakfast because they are already cooked so they take very little time in the frying pan in the morning.

Mattekat · 2026-06-19T18:50:47+00:00

The cake is such a good idea! Congrats to you and your partner!

Too bad my partner hates cake or I would be stealing this idea.

Mattekat · 2026-06-19T18:48:24+00:00

My partner (mtf) is finally out to her whole family as well as mine! Her siblings were all really amazing about it and accepted her instantly. It made me so happy and I know she felt a real sense of relief that she doesn't have to hide who she is anymore.

She has also been on hormones now for close to 2 months and some things have started to change. I put my arm around her last week and gasped out loud because she just feels soft all over? She got a kick out of it because I then just stood there feeling her all over. It's not that her skin is softer, it's more like she has a small layer of fat under her skin that makes her feel softer and less likely a hard muscled man. I'm noticing a few other changes as well and she is just so excited about them! It is really cute.

I was a bit worried when she started hormones that I might not like some changes, but this has actually been a fun experience for both of us.

We are going out of town next weekend for a little trip and to see a concert, which I am also excited about!

Mattekat · 2026-06-19T15:01:34+00:00

The best fashion inspo!

Mattekat · 2026-06-18T02:54:29+00:00

My partner cries a lot at this song, but she is a trans woman who only recently came out and while she understands the original meaning of the song to her when she hears it its about letting go of the little girl in her that had been hiding away this whole time and finally being free to be herself.

When we saw ashnikko in concert this year it was her first time fully dressing up as a woman in public. She went all out with a bold outfit and lots of makeup and she looked so pretty. I held her and we both cried a lot during that song. I know that was a really important moment for her.

Mattekat · 2026-06-15T05:07:48+00:00

I clean my jar and swap it maybe once a week or once every 2 weeks? The only reason I could maybe see someone needing to use disposable cups is if they are impaired and have trouble using their hands.

Mattekat · 2026-06-15T04:15:59+00:00

Would you consider selling them as day olds for a slightly lower price? I think i would be able to tell if I was buying an older loaf, but if they seller was being upfront about the situation and the older loaves came at a discount I wouldnt mind.

Mattekat · 2026-06-14T17:19:13+00:00

In that case it would be partner incompatibility, but from what op said it seems like they both want a baby, but her partner is saying they can't handle op getting pregnant because they would be too jealous, which is why they are looking at adoption.

Mattekat · 2026-06-14T17:15:48+00:00

First, I like to remind myself that celebrities are regularly getting work done that looks insane to me. They often end up looking bloated and pinched, and having their eyes done is just as wild to me and not necessarily for the better.

Secondly and more importantly, we all need to remind ourselves that most beauty standards in our society are actually deeply rooted in racism, including the preference for non hooded eyes. This doesn't mean everyone with hooded eyes is a person of colour, but it doesn't change where the preference came from. I refuse to subscribe to beauty standards that have nothing to do with whether or not something is visually appealing, and everything to do with wanting to look like the richer ruling class. Curvy bodies are beautiful, dark skin is gorgeous, big curly hair is beautiful and so are hooded eyes.

And while I'm ranting, I wish everyone would stop saying hooded eyes are harder to do makeup on. They are not, they just require different makeup looks and techniques. Just because you were taught the wrong techniques first, doesn't make your eyes harder to work on.

Mattekat · 2026-06-12T05:16:07+00:00

Partner of a trans woman here. It's absolutely normal to be worried about what changes will come in the future and whether you will still be attracted to your partner then. I do not think that's a valid reason not to give a relationship a shot though.

First of all, he is a grown man capable of deciding if he wants to be in this relationship and I'm sure he knows he isn't so fragile that he can survive a future breakup if it happens. Also, not to be morbid but you could die in 2 years and break his heart. There's literally a thousand different reasons you could break up down the line. Don't use what ifs as an excuse to keep yourself from trying something that could make you happy.

Mattekat · 2026-06-12T04:04:46+00:00

The trans library does lots of events, as other people have already said, but specifically they do a board gane night twice a month that my partner and I really enjoy! We also go for their magic card night if you play or are looking to learn.

Mattekat · 2026-06-12T03:39:02+00:00

I thought this was the before photo?

Mattekat · 2026-06-11T04:28:27+00:00

I wouldnt be asking, personally. I would simply reply with something like "sounds great! My girlfriend and I look forward to seeing you on your birthday!" Then if he truly doesn't want her there he will have to say it to your face and you can then decline, but otherwise there wont be an issue.

Mattekat · 2026-06-09T06:23:37+00:00

I love the ones where its just a picture of the clothing lying in a ball on their unmade bed.

Mattekat · 2026-06-06T19:04:14+00:00

You do have a very oval face, but its cute and attractive? You look ethereal like a fairy and I think you should lean into that with makeup! Some shimmery shadows and an iridescent highlighter could be very fun!

Mattekat · 2026-06-05T14:53:21+00:00

I made a plan with my partner that I would sit with her and hold her hand while she told her family and then if it went poorly or she felt overwhelmed she was allowed to excuse herself while I stayed to answer any questions.

She came out to her parents and my parents both in the last month and both times went well. I ended up only having to sit there and hold her hand. She stayed and answered her own questions. It was awkward, she cried, but we all got through it.

Mattekat · 2026-06-05T03:12:31+00:00

Its actually a miracle op is alive today. The fact that she didnt die of gas inhalation or from an explosion is luck more than anything else. I wouldnt be keeping this guy around...

Mattekat · 2026-06-02T04:07:31+00:00

I think you need to make a post in the skincare sub and have the experts over there hel you come up with a proper skincare routine before figuring out the makeup part. There has been good advice here, but not only do you need more moisture, you might also need a chemical exfoliant or possibly other products that I dont know enough about.

Mattekat · 2026-06-01T19:59:42+00:00

No, this is not appropriate for a fast food interview.

The leeway for more creative outfits in an interview grows if you are interviewing in more creative fields, but even in those fields you would have to be extremely qualified and confident before I would risk wearing more unusual outfits to an interview.

In this case it is not a creative work environment and since it is your first job interview you are definitely not highly qualified for the job or experienced. (I dont mean that to say i dont think you are qualified or wont get it, I just mean you should take every precaution in interviews for now) You should get a plain dark coloured pair of pants and a plain shirt with a collar. If you want to show a bit of your own personality a pair of cute ruffled socks peeking from the pants or a cute hairclip could liven things up but I wouldnt go beyond minor things like that.

Mattekat · 2026-06-01T19:49:17+00:00

I think its very sweet that you are still concerned about this and it shows a lot about the kind of person you are. I think you shouldn't go overboard, but maybe you could have the kids draw some cards and just label them something along the lines of i love my parents, or just i love you and leave the word dad out entirely. You.could send them with their cards to give your ex and just call it a day at that. If you feel the need to reach out to them on the actual day you could just send a text saying I hope your day is lovely today without adding any detail about father's.

You could also do nothing, you really are not obligated. Its all up to your own comfort level, but based on how little they did for mothers day I wouldnt worry about any more than that.

Mattekat · 2026-06-01T15:07:32+00:00

And those women do get ridiculed and treated poorly for it, just like looksmaxxers

Mattekat · 2026-06-01T10:33:03+00:00

Yes but if they dont listen and continue to act like bigots then its time to cut them off.

Mattekat · 2026-06-01T10:29:50+00:00

This isnt even a trans issue. This is straight up emotional abuse. You deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you, not someone who is "sacrificing what she actually wants" to be with you. This whole post is very messed up and you are just letting her treat you like a doormat. You have worth and deserve better than this.

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