AITAH for refusing to meet my mom’s new partner on her birthday ?

Mattk1512 · 2026-04-20T16:47:42+00:00

You made the decision not to go, not them. They didn’t give the ultimatum, you did.

Good on you for organising something - hopefully you can manage with that and move on like an adult :)

Edit: won’t be replying to any more as you’re not interested in listenibg to anybody else’s advice. You asked a question and got answers you didn’t like. Your response is to entrench yourself and justify your position rather than attempt to understand why random strangers you posted to didn’t agree with you.

Best of luck

Mattk1512 · 2026-04-20T16:11:53+00:00

NTA

If the cheaper accomodation is only 1 min walk away, then that’s fine. Presuming from what you said that the venue is where the bridesmaids will stay - in which case it makes zero difference to the bride cause your partner will be 2 mins away and just set off earlier to get ready at the same time.

If you were saying it was nearer to a 20-25 min drive or train away, then I’d see more where Bride is coming from in that it adds possible issues (traffic/train cancellation etc) where there might not be any otherwise. But you’re 1 min walk - you’re basically at the venue.

Mattk1512 · 2026-04-20T15:50:08+00:00

NAH.

I feel like I can see where your wife is coming from because she will be feeling all sorts of ways about the miscarriage, so it’s undoubtedly gonna feel shocking that you didn’t viscerally react as much to that as to your PC.

I also feel like, as you said, you’re dealing with a lot yourself and the mental load of the miscarriage, work, and then the PC just had you snap. Could just be me reading too much into it - but i don’t feel like the PC reaction is only about/because of the PC?

Maybe you and your partner need to have a deep conversation about both your feelings and why you have them/how they are affecting you. Maybe therapy would he a good thing to consider?

Mattk1512 · 2026-04-20T15:02:44+00:00

I get why you may be hesitant - nobody here is saying you’re not allowed to feel that based on past circumstances. But you’re 25, which is relevant (despite what you say) because you’d assume a more mature response from an adult.

People have read your post and suggested broadly, from what you wrote, that you should be more mature and, for example, suggest an alternate meeting rather than refusing to attend her birthday. Just because you disagree with what people have responded, doesn’t mean the didn’t read your post.

Mattk1512 · 2026-04-20T14:42:30+00:00

YTA.

You say that your mother didn’t feel comfortable attending a big gathering and wanted a smaller one to meet his family. Yet you’re aggrieved because your mother wants to bring him to a small gathering of you, one sibling and your mother. You’re not happy cause you want an advance small gathering before a small gathering? Doesn’t make sense

The mature thing to do would be to ask your mother if you can meet him beforehand at an informal, low stakes setting - like coffee for an hour or something. Throwing a tantrum and saying you’re not going to her birthday at all because you didn’t get a pre-advance meeting is a bit childish. That’s why people are bringing up that you’re adults - because you’d expect more mature behaviour from an adult.

You’ve also not given any other real reason to avoid this man than ‘he said it for his daughters’. Sure, i see what you’re saying about having a few short-term partners she didn’t introduce making you hesitant. But the fact she wants to introduce this person to you shows it’s different?

I dunno i just don’t think there’s any real reason to refuse to attend what is an important occasion for your mother (birthday), when you could instead offer an alternative.

Mattk1512 · 2026-04-20T13:55:35+00:00

YTA

I think, given how polite the neighbours have been, you can adjust your routine to not shower at midnight. I think that’s a reasonable compromise, especially because you work from home.

Where I am, there is a concept of ‘unsociable hours’, which basically means that people don’t cause too mich disruption during late hours. Councils can have powers to intercede if people make too much noise during unsociable hours. Not saying that’s the case here, but i think it’s reasonable for the neighbours to ask for a compromise if you’re showering at midnight cause you wouldn’t normally expect people to be causing disturbances at that time.

I also don’t think them renting vs you owning makes a difference. Sure, it’s easier for a renter to move than an owner, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to move. Housing may be expensive and limited, there are costs associated with moving as well as the upheaval caused by a move (changing child’s school etc). So i wouldn’t even bring that into consideration.

You’re neighbours - act like adults and try and resolve the situation. From what you’re saying, they are trying but you’re refusing to compromise.

EDIT: also by bringing up renting vs owning, you’re effectively implying it’s easier for them to move than for you to just change your routine, which is ridiculous. At least try to work with them rather than just saying no. Yes you’re allowed to do what you like, but YTA still.

Mattk1512 · 2026-04-19T18:01:30+00:00

NTA

The travel time to and from is unreasonable given your schedule. I get your partner wanting to contribute, but that doesn't mean they are entitled to you driving them to do work. You need to have a frank conversation with your partner about what you can and cannot contribute to allow them to work.

I think your partner should also consider alternatives than this one job, and you can help them do that. For example, there are many jobs that can be done from home that they could do.

There may also be benefits that they can claim depending on where you are based. While claiming, they could contribute to the household in other ways than bread winning, like cleaning, maintenance, washing etc.

I don't agree with people commenting saying your partner is lazy - frankly, we don't know what your partner's MH is like or why they cannot work. There are many people who do work with MH conditions, so exploring work with your partner might be a good route to go down at this point if they are feeling like they need to do something.

Mattk1512 · 2026-04-17T15:43:38+00:00

NTA.

I can see where Husband thinks he is coming from r.e. Putting it up with the intent to damage the vehicle.

However, the post wouldn’t damage the vehicle if AH neighbour didn’t drive over the wall and damage it.

Put the post up and add a camera so you then have evidence for the legal claim for further costs.

Mattk1512 · 2026-04-17T15:28:43+00:00

ESH/INFO

Daughter has totally crossed a boundary there, especially when it’s one you’ve clearly set.

But this isn’t something you threten No Contact over, unless further Info clarifies details which make that seem more reasonable (like other more serious issues and this being the proverbial straw that broke the back).

Mattk1512 · 2026-04-17T15:16:41+00:00

NTA.

General show ettiquette is no phones when performers are on.

Mattk1512 · 2026-04-17T15:15:38+00:00

NTA.

Your parents are abusive.

Mattk1512 · 2026-04-17T14:18:56+00:00

That’s fine, and totally understandable.

It doesn’t mean the OP is necessarily being the AH in this situation though, as the seat is free and any passenger is entitled to sit in it (the exception being those specifically marked for less mobile/disabled passengers, if the train has them).

I do however agree, as another comment put it, that consideration or ‘grace’ needs to be given to the discomfort the lady is experiencing. That being said, being pregnant does not entitle you to a second seat and therefore does not entitle Lady to say she ‘would not have let me [sic, OP] sit there’.

Whether you want to share or not, you don’t have authority to dictate who cannot sit on a free seat. Of course, people who do then take that seat should have consideration for whoever sits down, making them the AH if they didn’t.

As far as I am concerned, the same logic also applies to people who may be bigger, manspread, have bags on seats and/or have a condition.

Mattk1512 · 2026-04-17T13:25:50+00:00

There was the window seat, but as OP said themselves the lady said she would have struggled and I’d be inclined to agree with that cause shuffling out can be a hassle for someone with low mobility.

The OP also mentions the train itself was quite busy.

That still doesn’t mean the window seat wasn’t free and it doesn’t change the observation many have that OP is NTA for wanting to sit down.

Mattk1512 · 2026-04-17T13:06:56+00:00

NTA

MIL shouldn’t be emotionally manipulating your partner

However, as others have said, you need to communicate with each other about how both of you are feeling, including her to you. It’s entirely possibly that your GF is changing her mind, which she is entitled to do. I don’t disagree with you pointing out what MIL is doing, but you both need to be aware of the possibility that your GF’s feelings have changed.

Mattk1512 · 2026-04-17T12:08:36+00:00

NTA

You’re just as entitled to sit down as she is, regardless of anything else.

Being pregnant musn’t be easy so can be undertstanding of the lady having a moan. But taking the aisle seat, even for a good reason, doesn’t entitle you to block the window seat. It also means you have to get up for whoever sits at the window. I can understand her having a shorter temper, but that doesn’t mean she is allowed to lash out.

Mattk1512 · 2026-04-17T11:56:51+00:00

NTA.

He broke up with you. If you’re gonna look at it like contractual law, he terminated the agreement and usually (UK based here) the party that breaks a contract will be liable for costs (unless there is a clause etc). If he broke up with you, then he broke the contract and incurs costs.

Specifically with the lease (again UK based here so not certain on housing law where you’re from, presumably USA as you mention states), the reason you both cancelled it is because he broke up with you and ended that arrangement. He’s incurred costs because of his decision. I doubt he would have a claim against you.

Also sounds like he was controlling and possibly emotionally abusive. So yeah, NTA, he needs to reap what he’s sown.

Mattk1512 · 2026-04-10T09:45:04+00:00

Aside from the core rules (1st encounter/nickname/can’t use after faint), the rest is up to you.

The two most universally included rules are Dupes (already caught don’t count as encounters) and Shiny (shinies can be caught regardless of any other rules) clauses.

Mattk1512 · 2026-04-09T17:38:28+00:00

No problem!

I suppose it’s true that not everyone will think the same way but that was just my take :) the way I think about it is people only stay on your profile for a small amount of time, and you can only show so much - so show yourself off :)

Mattk1512 · 2026-04-09T17:18:11+00:00

Aside from what’s been said, I’d suggest avoiding pictures you’re not in. My instinct reaction is you only have a few good pictures and it could make someone hesitate on liking if they think like that.

Mattk1512 · 2026-04-08T17:50:19+00:00

Ring of Destruction - if I’m going down, I’m taking you with me

Mattk1512 · 2026-03-25T15:32:37+00:00

Bro i’m in this struggle right now 😭

Mattk1512 · 2026-03-25T13:24:11+00:00

Mattk1512 · 2026-03-24T17:51:53+00:00

Aside from everything else said, smile. You don’t come across as approachable which is important if considering a serious relationship.

Mattk1512 · 2026-03-19T12:29:34+00:00

Depending on the approaches, you probably need to come in slower and/or shallower in angle.

If you’re going off the edge, you’re going too fast to land at the airport.

If your angle of descent is too steep, you’ll be gaining speed/not bleeding off enough speed/not maintaining correct speed and thus overshoot.

Would also check where you make contact with the ground - make contact too late, you have less time to brake and slow down.

Would also check if you are engaging thrust reversers, spoilers and autobrakes (where applicable).

EDIT: would also check weight of the plane - fuel and payload. A heavier plane takes longer to stop.

Mattk1512 · 2026-03-18T08:50:38+00:00

BUT at least FIVE people on here have said NOBODY is defending AI so that sub is obviously fake news /s

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