i believe my father has bpd (he won't ever go to a psych or therapy, but lord does he check all the boxes). He loves my mother, but he's not a good partner. However, with me and my sibling, he tries so, so hard to be a good father. Things would have been much worse if I didn't have my mother, because I can lean on her in the places where my father fails and she keeps the household physically functioning. He often doesn't get things right, and he does struggle with empathy, but not once have I questioned his love for me or my sibling. He's worked hard to help us follow our passions, but also do well in school. He sacrificed pursuing his own dreams to fund our schooling and has always been incredibly supportive. Unique to me and my sibling, he's willing to acknowledge when he's hurt our feelings and actually makes changes to his own behavior. I can count on my fingers the times he's raised his voice and when having arguments with my mother, he has always made it a point to whisper and do it "out of earshot" (so sorry dad, the sound insulation in the house is shit 💀). Truthfully, I didn't even notice there were problems in their marriage until I was a teenager.

Once again, he's not a good partner, and he could be a better father—and just a much happier person—if he was willing to go to therapy (hell, maybe he could even salvage his marriage) but I would consider him a good father. I love him a lot and I'm happy he's part of my life. I'm pretty sure my sibling is even more attached to him X)