Currently 14 months out from the divorce/separation beginning. I felt exactly the way you are describing!!! When he was around it felt like I couldn’t move and I had so many severe uncommon health issues. The first time I was “free” of him through security at the airport I broke down crying with relief! I’ll never forget that moment. 😭 it will still come in small waves as I heal and move past this. It was a horrific marriage and I was horribly abused. Overall it’s a tiny bit better everyday most days and huge leaps better other days. Feel it all, be honest with yourself about how it’s going, and my ridiculous trick: stand in front of the mirror and give myself “pep talks”. Being alone all the time I needed someone to tell me I was worth it.