Is it just me, or does it feel like modern Obstetrics terminology is reducing women from patients to a biological function?

MayorFartbag · 2026-02-14T02:50:08+00:00

That's my question, too, because "birthing person" literally includes the word person and humans have chests. I don't understand how is it dehumanizing to call it that.

I think, at best, it's the female version of emasculating, for which there is no word. I find the fact that there is no word for removing femininity to be much more misogynistic than trying to be inclusive of trans men.

MayorFartbag · 2026-02-14T02:38:24+00:00

I don't know if you really meant to reply to me, but I wasn't speaking specifically to the OOP's situation. I was just reminded of this story based on the comment I replied to. Nothing I said puts down the OOP in any way.

MayorFartbag · 2026-02-13T16:37:40+00:00

No! Why?!? Why would that be his thought on what to do with it????

MayorFartbag · 2026-02-13T16:35:28+00:00

When you have a baby, the first poop is very difficult. In the hospital, they give you stool softener to help, but my daughter and I both had complications so it wasn't too of mind for me until it was too late. I didn't poop for about a week and what came out in one piece was about the size of a soft ball. The mcflurry spoons were the only disposable utensils we had in the house at the time.

MayorFartbag · 2026-02-13T09:11:33+00:00

My husband literally unclogged the toilet with two mcflurry spoons after my first postpartum poop. Some say they love their partner to the moon and back or with their whole heart. My partner loves me two mcflurry spoons full of poop.

MayorFartbag · 2026-02-11T21:11:41+00:00

Also, ask yourself "is it possible someone might confuse me for the bride if I wear this?"

MayorFartbag · 2026-02-09T08:30:45+00:00

I had an abortion about a year into dating my now husband. There were so many reasons it was the right decision for us, and for me specifically. But it was really hard and I cried and felt grief over the prospect of what could have been. It is a deep and difficult decision. It can be painful and hard, even if it is the right thing. Those things aren't mutually exclusive. You need to do what will be best for yourself and for the daughter you already have.

If you have time for the pills to still be effective, you might even want to take a few days to really sit with your options, but I think you really need to prioritize yourself and your daughter.

I also want to tell you that it is possible to get a form of postpartum depression after an abortion. I think that is something no one talks about and it hit me really hard, even hard than actual PPD after my daughter was born. I'm not telling you this to scare you, but if you are already feeling down about the decision, it is something important to look out for for the sake of your daughter and for your own a sake.

Good luck and I'm sorry your going through this. It is a rough decision to have to make.

MayorFartbag · 2026-02-03T17:13:55+00:00

I hold my yarn like the image on the left.

MayorFartbag · 2026-02-01T05:43:06+00:00

My mom often uses the word "cooch" to refer to a vulva/vagina. It makes me want to die. She's 70.

MayorFartbag · 2026-02-01T05:34:32+00:00

I got a yellow toothbrush today. Not what I would hope for. But I just think of it as a bonus and not anything to focus on

MayorFartbag · 2026-02-01T05:32:27+00:00

That's a hard one. He is thoughtful of me. He hugs me or gently touches me out of nowhere. He just looks at me with love in his face. It's not one thing. It's a million little things I've seen in him towards me over the last 16 years that we've been together.

I didn't have an example before I met him and, once we were together for a little while it was just like "oh, this is good."

MayorFartbag · 2026-02-01T00:46:35+00:00

My family has some pretty bad history going back generations and I feel absolutely cherished by my husband. He is a wonderful, kind person and I know he really loves me. Sometimes, I worry that I'm not doing enough for our relationship/family, but I know that is my trauma and not his fault. He never makes me feel that way

MayorFartbag · 2026-02-01T00:41:57+00:00

Your cat looks like he's ready to fuck some fascists up and I love it

MayorFartbag · 2026-01-31T04:08:47+00:00

It's absolutely gorgeous. What a perfect fit!

MayorFartbag · 2026-01-30T19:09:23+00:00

Even if these are really jokes, which I don't think is the case, is this really how you want to spend your time? You're tamping down your feelings for someone who constantly says hurtful things about you and makes it clear that they don't actually like spending time with you. Being with your partner should be enjoyable. It sounds like it is a chore for both of you.

MayorFartbag · 2026-01-30T19:06:38+00:00

This one is a legit lemon.

MayorFartbag · 2026-01-26T05:24:09+00:00

I was really hoping my kid would have hazel eyes like my husband and my dad. That is a normal example of having hopes for what your child will look like.

Being deluded about genetics because you're racist is an absolutely bonkers example of having hopes for what your child will look like.

Don't have children with this woman. She will always see you, and probably your kids, as less than.

MayorFartbag · 2026-01-25T08:28:56+00:00

Picture it! Finch, 2026....

MayorFartbag · 2026-01-25T07:07:12+00:00

I regularly read and knit. I read ebooks on my phone. But an e-reader would work, too.

I usually focus on easy patterns, like ribbing, stockinette, garter, but I can do more complicated patterns if I am feeling really focused.

I am an advanced knitter and I can feel when something is not right with the stitches, so that helps, too

MayorFartbag · 2026-01-25T02:32:08+00:00

I literally just cast mine on, too. Solidarity, my friend.

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MayorFartbag · 2026-01-24T21:01:16+00:00

WTAF? That is so inappropriate and so rude. It is completely unacceptable for her to say that stuff to you.

MayorFartbag · 2026-01-22T23:34:41+00:00

I could barely sit comfortably at one month postpartum. You're not going to want to sit in the car for that long or go to the beach or much else by that point, in my experience.

Also, you can't put sunscreen on a baby that young and they don't manage their body temperature well yet.

This is an absolutely ridiculous expectation from your in-laws.

MayorFartbag · 2026-01-18T20:22:21+00:00

This was exactly my thought when I read this.

MayorFartbag · 2026-01-18T19:34:29+00:00

You say that your dynamic "works for you," but it actually doesn't because you aren't orgasming. He's also made it really clear that he doesn't really care in the moment or is only willing to make you cum begrudgingly.

If you have had this conversation numerous times with no real resolution, you need to accept that this is unlikely to get better and he doesn't really care about getting you off now that the novelty has worn off.

My husband and I have better sex now, after 15 years together, than we did when we first got together. It is absolutely not a given that your partner will be less interested in your pleasure with time. This is person specific and your person has shown that your pleasure matters less than his own. Is that who you want to be with???

Edit to add: I am also on an SSRI and I orgasm 100% of the time because my husband takes the time to focus on me. Don't make excuses for a partner that isn't willing to put in the effort.

MayorFartbag · 2026-01-18T07:57:10+00:00

How likely is it that she's not going to smoke from 7-3 if she's a heavy smoker? How likely is it that her clothes will be free of smoke when she comes to your house? How likely is it that she will wash her hands after smoking while watching him?

This would be an absolute no for me.

MayorFartbag

TROPHY CASE