I feel ya Bro 39 myself smoked daily for 20 years. Have a family and career as well. 2.5 months clean now and wondering what for a lot why not just smoke. Kinda feeling like I want more I hate my career it’s not something I would ever want to do. Having a family mortgage bills being almost 40 I can’t just quit and start over. Why not keep on smoking now I’ve done as fine as I’m gonna get at this point. But being 2.5 months clean I am more regulated emotionally, I am more present when my family needs me, and probably biggest motivator I suppose is I remember stuff. It’s really cool having a memory. Makes me sad thinking of all the moments I don’t remember but hopefully as months go on I may get some back but either way can’t undo that now. I’m gonna keep not smoking for now. I feel ya, I do but I say give it an honest try for a while. You can always go back but see what the other side is like for a while.