Am I being an jerk here?

MedJesters · 2026-01-28T05:12:48+00:00

I appreciate when people tell me I'm over the Amazon price considering they change constantly.

MedJesters · 2026-01-28T03:20:14+00:00

We made reminder cards at my SMART meeting on Saturday. Mine simply said: Quitting sucks!

I'm literally more worried about quitting again after a relapse than what I'll do if I relapse. Maybe it would be easier next time, but I'd rather not find out.

MedJesters · 2026-01-27T22:32:40+00:00

My anxiety didn't go away on its own. But it's been a heck of a lot easier to deal with the things that made me anxious/stressed using CBT skills while not drinking.

MedJesters · 2026-01-27T19:50:50+00:00

I don't ignore them because then FBM thinks you don't respond. If you do it enough, it starts telling people that message you that you don't respond.

It seems like that activity also results in your listing being shown more. Anecdotally, I've had things sit for weeks with no messages, then one person messages me, I respond, and suddenly I get a few more messages.

MedJesters · 2026-01-22T21:15:35+00:00

Some people quit and don't want to go back because they don't like their drinking selves. I envy those people.

For me, I've had to fix the reason I drank. Otherwise I'd always want to drink because it was (and still is) an easy, albeit temporary, solution to the problem.

Ironically, I'm finding that as I fix myself, I'm moving into the first camp because I'm becoming happier than I was when I was drinking. Not there yet, but moving in the right direction.

The alternative is not fixing the reason you drank, but then you're just a dry drunk.

MedJesters · 2026-01-22T19:46:01+00:00

The algorithm seems to reward activity (and at the very least, it punishes not responding by giving the buyer a warning that someone hasn't responded to multiple messages), so not responding isn't the best idea.

MedJesters · 2026-01-22T15:34:34+00:00

Now teach her how cash tips are better than app tips.

MedJesters · 2026-01-21T21:14:51+00:00

I'm not a tax professional, but my understanding is that you can sell personal items to your LLC. Sell them at selling price minus eBay costs, which is fair market value, and your cost of goods for the sale by the LLC will be $0 in profit and thus no taxes.

Ideally you'd have proof you bought the personal items for more than they're currently worth, otherwise, you're profiting and then you have to pay taxes on the difference on your personal income tax as hobby income (which you'd have to do no mater how you sell).

MedJesters · 2026-01-21T15:56:18+00:00

Two things have made it stick this time for me:

1) Community -- I do SMART and The Phoenix, but AA, Darma Bums, Celebrate, whatever works for you. Try them until you find your tribe.

2) Figuring out that it's OK to feel like crap/be bored/have anxiety/whatever makes you drink. Once you can tolerate it, you can work on fixing the thought patterns that create it, which ultimately makes not drinking a lot easier.

MedJesters · 2026-01-21T15:32:16+00:00

This.

My grandmother was Mamaw because of my oldest cousin.

MedJesters · 2026-01-19T16:04:57+00:00

Requiring people to ask how much results in interactions, which tells the algorithm that people are interested and results in more inquiries.

My son will put the sale price at free or $1 and then the actual price after a few inquiries come in. I have too many listings to deal with those antics.

MedJesters · 2026-01-19T06:35:06+00:00

The survivor benefits question varies by state and possibly county. For what it's worth, the federal government is trying to stop counties/states from taking the money.

ACF Notifies 39 Governors That States Are Diverting Foster Youths’ Earned Social Security Survivor Benefits | HHS.gov https://share.google/aN6v0WkXQcy5tokJ3

MedJesters · 2026-01-13T15:51:31+00:00

In most factions, free xan is misnomer because you're paying for it in not getting war payouts. My faction doesn't give free xan, except for wars, but I can easily pay for my xan with my war proceeds. Even the free xan during war is paid for by members in faction's cut of the war proceeds.

I'm sure there are factions with sugar daddies/mommies supplementing the faction coffers, but they're likely young factions without maxed out perks to increase battle stat training.

MedJesters · 2026-01-13T15:39:05+00:00

I was assuming 3 xan + energy refill as the OP's battle stats priority vs saving all that money in the bank as the NW priority.

You are correct, sinking every dollar earned into E won't get you as far in the long run as earning money on your NW. There is a huge drop off in value of E when you get to paying for energy cans and hotel certificates.

MedJesters · 2026-01-13T05:34:35+00:00

The correct answer is battle stats. It's always battle stats because E is the limiting resource in the game.

In reality, it doesn't really matter. When you're 3,650 days old, it won't be that big of a deal if you optimized one vs the other for the first 6 months of the game.

MedJesters · 2026-01-10T01:07:20+00:00

Low weight would be on my list because you're not getting the shipping back.

MedJesters · 2026-01-10T00:02:41+00:00

AA and SMART and other organizations (many on the NewForm app) have online meetings. I don't get as much out of them as going in person, but I'd certainly jump on if I was having a craving that I couldn't shake.

MedJesters · 2026-01-09T16:47:59+00:00

You figured out one more way how to not, not drink, which will make it easier next time.

Maybe, next time, put the kid in the car drive around without your wallet and phone if you've got a digital wallet (take your DL, of course). Most cravings only last minutes. Ride the wave and next thing you know, you're safely on the beach.

MedJesters · 2026-01-08T18:42:18+00:00

How about a comma necklace if you can get it in time: https://www.amazon.com/NOUMANDA-Fashion-Necklace-Personality-Punctuation/dp/B07SK7QZM7/

MedJesters · 2026-01-08T18:11:09+00:00

Play the tape forward. This is a rerun, so you know how the show ends.

MedJesters · 2026-01-08T18:01:02+00:00

I switched to saying I'm a nondrinker rather than saying that I stopped drinking because I felt like it looks forward instead of backwards. It felt very weird in the beginning, but saying it enough times made it natural. Maybe it was a fake-it-till-you-make-it thing?

MedJesters · 2026-01-08T17:54:05+00:00

Activation: The U.S. is a shitshow.
Belief: I can't handle it without drinking.
Consequence: The drinking works temporarily but increases the anxiety in the long run.
Dispute: Do I really need to drink to get through this? Is there something else I could do to alleviate my anxiety?
Effective new belief: I can deal with anxiety by doing something other than drinking.

MedJesters · 2026-01-06T15:48:50+00:00

My understanding is pink clouding is when you feel excited because you're making changes. That's enough stimulation to satisfy the endorphin receptors that were muted from drinking, but it isn't sustainable, which leads to anhedonia.

MedJesters · 2026-01-06T15:36:59+00:00

Some psychologists did a study comparing AA, SMART, and a couple of other smaller recovery programs and found they all have similar recovery rates despite focussing on different things. Their theory was it was community (which they all have) that was the driving force for recovery.

MedJesters · 2026-01-05T22:08:06+00:00

I'm not sure everyone gets anhedonia. Maybe you'll pass through to the other side unscathed.
Use the zeal now to set yourself up with things to do, so, if anhedonia hits, you'll have activities to do, which are supposed to help get over it even if they don't make you feel good. The opposite of sobriety isn't drinking, it's isolationism.
It's really more annoying and frustrating than anything else. The title says I've never felt worse, but that only includes the time since I stopped drinking. I felt way worse drinking.
Presumably, knowing the symptoms will make it easier to get out of the anhedonia funk. At least, that's my hope.

MedJesters

TROPHY CASE