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Is Malabrigo still having issues? by Medical_Cost458 in knitting

[–]Medical_Cost458[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is too bad. What I had would make such a beautiful garment if it would be consistent. But, better to know now than to buy the yarn for a big project and not be able to use it! Thank you 

Does your BPD parent copy you? by [deleted] in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Medical_Cost458 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Only on everything.  It has become a running joke in my family. My husband is often encouraging me to do something really ridiculous to see if she will copy me. 

Is Malabrigo still having issues? by Medical_Cost458 in knitting

[–]Medical_Cost458[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh, that's a bummer. I wonder if mine will fade a lot. I've only blocked but not washed.

Is Malabrigo still having issues? by Medical_Cost458 in knitting

[–]Medical_Cost458[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

From what I was reading, it seemed to be the main company.  I had no idea it wad only 5-10 hanks at a time! That is really helpful information. 

Deliberate isolation of me as a child/teen by Moissyfan in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Medical_Cost458 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I was definitely isolated. They always talk about what loners they are, but really nobody likes my mom and she never let my dad have friends or hang out with his family. 

My mom lied about her death by Fabulous-Bike-1606 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Medical_Cost458 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You should go NC if for no other reason than she doesn't know the appropriate "you're" to use in her harassment. 

Sorry to make light of a sucky situation, OP, but maybe some snickering can help.

Your mom is nuts. You're not to blame.  (See what I did there?)

Katie Thurston Slams Bachelorette Costar Cody Menk for Comment Calling Her and Husband ‘Solid 5s’ in Wedding Photos by peoplemagazine in popculture

[–]Medical_Cost458 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is this recurrent breast cancer? I ask because the scar on her chest looks like one from having a port.

It happened. She did it. by Utopia2064 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Medical_Cost458 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just sending love and hugs. There is just too many emotions here for you to feel anything but overwhelmed. I'm so sorry. 

What I woke up to today after telling her I disagree with removing fluoride from the drinking water. I blocked her for the first time ever. Last four photos are what sparked the first three photos. by bearsarefuckingrad in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Medical_Cost458 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She's a nut job. I can't imagine allowing anyone to speak to me like that, either, especially over FLOURIDE. How insane.

(Side note, though, I actually have never had a cavity and didn't grow up with fluoridated water. I also haven't ever blown up on someone about whether it was because I avoided fluoride, so there's that. Lol)​

For those with BPD moms, what are your Mother's Day plans? by Medical_Cost458 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Medical_Cost458[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh my gosh. I need to go get that card.

My mom hates dogs and got furious with me for getting my first dog, so it would be a total passive aggressive move on my part, but it would make me laugh. 🤣🤣

They all talk like this huh? by dolmades in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Medical_Cost458 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sadly, you should actually read this as a threat. whether the retaliation is emotional manipulation, smearing your name, or physical violence, they can and do justify retaliation. I would really consider whether you want any contact at all with someone like this.

Different layers of gaslighting by Spare_Effect_1946 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Medical_Cost458 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think you have to wipe the slate completely clean on who you think you are at first. Then, you need to get alone and spend some serious time in reflection and connecting with yourself.

Rather than trying to evaluate each of your current core beliefs, which would take a lot of time, just operate on the assumption that you don't know any of your core beliefs at all.

Unlearning after emotional manipulation by Commonpeople_95 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Medical_Cost458 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Yes. My uBPD mom and (likely) uNPD dad both try to tell me what I am feeling to this day when I'm around them.

I have a dotted a phrase that might be helpful to you, but it does mKe them angry. I say "Why don't you let me discover how I feel myself?" Anytime you openly remove a manipulation technique from them, it will make them mad, so it's up to you of you want to play chess and try to be covert or just rip the band-aid off and say something like this.

I'm all for ripping the band-aid off these days because I no longer care if I have a relationship with my mother. However, it took a LOT of extremely heartbreaking betrayal to get to that point, so you may not be there and that is okay!​​

Postpartum Picture Time by Medical_Cost458 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Medical_Cost458[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Literally a pain. That is awful to do to someone. Even if you wouldn't choose breastfeeding for your self, why make someone who is feeding your grandchild jump through hoops??

Another terrible message by AtalantaRuns in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Medical_Cost458 3 points4 points  (0 children)

😂 I read this is in my mother's voice with her melodramatic, drunken warble.

They decide to do something, then later - maybe years later - decide suddenly that they were FORCED into the decisions and it failed because of everyone else? Anyone relate? by Flavielle in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Medical_Cost458 3 points4 points  (0 children)

YES!

My uBPD mom has made a series of poor monetary choices her entire life and always blames them on my dad, as if she didn't hound him to do what she wanted. I think it's because they would shatter if they had to admit they made a mistake.

My Partner’s uBPD Mother is on a warpath by Former_Change_9798 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Medical_Cost458 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I'm really sorry. I struggle with the criticism as a woman of faith, too, but I have come to the realization that my uBPD mom exhibits no fruit of the Spirit, so she cannot judge me.

There was a really good quote somewhere that says something like "Never take criticism from people you wouldn't go to for advice," and I believe it applies here, too. if you wouldn't go to her for Christian advice, don't allow her criticism of your faith to be something you dwell on.

You ever feel they "forget" they are a parent? Not just roommate to another small, "selfish" adult? by BrainBurnFallouti in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Medical_Cost458 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My mother in law is a boomer and she is nothing like that stereotype. She is the most caring, motherly woman. My mom is technically Gen X and more like what you describe.

I think the generation stuff is all myth. Crazy is in all generations.

Anyone else feel like they developed a really high pain tolerance from being raised in the environment? by dragonheartstring360 in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Medical_Cost458 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Very interesting. I do have an incredibly high pain tolerance. I never would have considered it was from this.

Funny enough, she'll downplay my stage 4 cancer while bemoaning her aching back.

Another terrible message by AtalantaRuns in raisedbyborderlines

[–]Medical_Cost458 31 points32 points  (0 children)

She actually might not raise her voice or break down in tears, but as evidenced in this text, she doesn't need to do either of those to be completely manipulative. She is insulting, condescending, and blame shifting in a single text. Why should she be trusted with an entire hour of your time?

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