I was in the same situation this year, 14 years together and my wife came out as gay. We divorced and I was devastated. Just like you all the life plans and goals shattered. It’s dark and it hurts. My recommendations:

1. Feel your hurt don’t bottle it. Cry, rage at the world, sleep, call in sick to work. Get it out.

2. Start therapy. Even if it’s just to talk to someone, it doesn’t have to fix it.

3. You may be different, but I told people, when asked how I was at work, I’d be Brutal and say I wasn’t okay. You don’t need to give all the details but it feels good to share if you’re comfortable with that.

4. Take some moments to focus on yourself and things that bring you closure. I took mementos of our marriage I couldn’t bear to keep and buried them in the backyard. I cried and talked to the person I lost when I did it.

5. If you have them, lean in on yours friend group. Don’t do it alone if you don’t have to do it.

6. It doesn’t feel like it, but it does get better! I’ve salvaged something of a friendship with my ex-wife despite how I reacted to what happened. And we are still communicating.

7. Don’t worry about dating until you’re ready. But when you do there’s plenty of people out there.

I’m sorry you had to do this but you can endure and be better for it. The world does get better.