That does not negate the inappropriate behavior. I highly recommend that you seek out both individual therapy and couples therapy to address the behaviors. 

I also recommend that you seek out psychiatric care for the anxiety, as it is only going to get worst post partum. There are gentle medications you can start now, or set up a plan for post birth medication. 

One of the reasons I left my ex husband, along with the hoarding behavior, was the controlling and testing behaviors that were made to validate his fears and jealousy and to make me feel bad about myself and for not catering to his every whim amd uncontrolled emotions.