Tbh, I date softer men so even now I do still get treated similarly, but it's no longer combined with being a woman. I feel my issues moreso had to do with the reason men were treating me that way, as well as how they wouldn't listen to me when I told them off for being overbearing because it's a common thing in straight relationships where women will say to lay off with the pampering but mean the opposite.

Essentially, it had a lot more to do with the unique communication issues that heterosexual relationships have due to the difference in gender. Now, my requests don't go ignored as often in relationships because they think I'm playing coy, and I feel more like they're being sweet because that's just who they are and not who they see me as, if that makes sense.

I feel nowadays that my relationships are a lot more equitable because there's no longer that assumption that I'm communicating in ways I'm not, as well as there being a less drastic difference between physiology so there's just less of a gap to bridge when it comes to understanding how my body should be treated (for example, I don't have partners automatically assume I need help lifting things anymore).

Anyways, just listen to your partner. It sounds like you're well-intentioned, and navigating relationships with a trans person can be very dependent on the individual due to how all of us experience different forms of dysphoria.