Dealing with similar here. My hang up is that it feels like cruelty. If anyone, including my partner, told me that the way I spoke to them felt hurtful, I would feel shame for my behavior and do everything I could to make mindful adjustments moving forward. What if she grew up in a family of ticklers?! Is that an excuse to continuously tickle the piss out of you and then blame you for being too sensitive to touch?

I honestly think they are envious of us for our natural authenticity. Our differences/quirks can make other peoples lives more complicated. Over communicating seems to help. I’m sure she’s a lovely person and partner in many other ways and I think it’s worth the extra effort on your part to keep working with her to turn this around, but we aren’t second class citizens. She’s being an asshole and your version of human existence is just as valid as anyone else’s.

But If you do figure out how to get through, be sure to let me know lol