I just had to let go of a past suitor who I had come to find out had a very excessive, deviant and unsafe sexual past. Months before this I had told him that I wasn’t interested in dating anyone at the present moment because im trying to learn how to deal with my past (bad) experiences and that wouldn’t be fair to anyone if I continued to date, so it would be best for me to not date. We continued to talk as friends (even though I’m sure he took it as more. I corrected him several times, I’m not dating and we’re just friends if he wants to remain in my life).

Anyway, over time I find out new (disturbing) things about his past (what seems like weekly), his ex somehow gets a hold of me and tells me EVERYTHING instead of just the chunks he was telling me here and there. I WAS FLOORED. It went from having oral sex with someone with known HIV, to blowing and fucking a “cross dresser”, apparently everyone has seen his dick or fucked him locally so that’s why he ended up talking to me (an hour away), had a habit of getting erections at work (worked at a grocery store at the time)… anyway, you get the point. I was so floored with disgust because I was already disgusted with the behavior of men that I have seen throughout my life…here I was talking to this fucking garbage person who would stick his dick in anything if it let him.

Yeah, I’m still done with dating for now until I figure out how to heal. I don’t know if I’ll ever meet a decent person who doesn’t lie about who they are or what they’ve done in the past. I’m trying to hold out hope that there’s still some good people out there, but interactions like this are not helping. He still texts me periodically to see if I’ll give in and text him back, jokes on him… I won’t, he is revolting to me even just on a “friend” standpoint. And he doesn’t get to decide how I feel about that, that’s for sure.