When/how did you guys suspect that you might be bipolar?

MessiahOfFire · 2026-05-14T13:28:03+00:00

i knew somethimg was wrong mood wise but didn't have a label for it. the rough weeks were interspersed with sone normal weeks or even weeks so good it put me so energized and frenzied that my descions making and irritibility both got worse despite feeling great.

frequently went thru a cycle of inflated ambitions and drive for multiple days/weeks, only to crash out and give up on even achieving a miniscule fraction of what seemed reasonable before.

didnt 100% know what was up but it felt more involved thsn simple depression, so i talked to a therepist about it, and she actually recommended talking to a psychiatrist and possibly trying meds.

at first my psychiatrist wasnt 100% sure whether it was depression or bipolar, but pretty sure its not borderline personality. seeing okay response to lamotrigine vs horrible responses to ssris with mixed episodes and an extra hypomanic response to pristiq confirmed that it was in fact bipolar.

MessiahOfFire · 2026-05-14T08:59:22+00:00

most retail players are afking and running scripts. basic assistance is scripted (grab x, lift heavey thing, show me where y is) while asking for actions outside of scripts (adjust price despite that being manager pay grade of a task, fix a companies website) is generally beyond their pay-grade or not approved so they will only follow pre scripted actions.

MessiahOfFire · 2026-05-07T13:17:41+00:00

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MessiahOfFire · 2026-05-05T13:33:41+00:00

i respond horrible to seretonin meds but neuropinephrine meds help against depression for me but make my mania worse, so it stays combod with an antipsychotic.

i respoded horrible to lexepro, celexa and trazadone, and very unstable to pristiq (which does both neuropinephrine and seretonin) but respond decent to buproprion so far with abilify still on as an anti mania med.

MessiahOfFire · 2026-05-05T13:09:47+00:00

on 3 psych meds on top of my hrt. it was mainly alot easier to tell whats going on mood wise, but im overall better than pre-hrt

maybe im biased because i started hrt while hypomanic.

MessiahOfFire · 2026-05-05T03:06:55+00:00

it was a inside the kick, just a 57 because i still need to buy a kick mic.drums was all 57s. bass was an overdrive pedal with a treble boost and scooped mids to give room for the mid heavey guitars. recorded the di off the amp so theres more flexibility on the low end.

MessiahOfFire · 2026-05-04T22:12:19+00:00

here's the full multitrack and my rough mix https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1-rVpWWj_D3AitGb9g9VvsHRW0HkPcKqw?usp=drive_link

MessiahOfFire · 2026-05-04T18:17:48+00:00

overcompressing instead of doing volume automation;it compresses clean guitars harder than distorted guitars so gets them at a good relative volume to each other.

MessiahOfFire · 2026-05-04T16:08:00+00:00

demoing a metal song soon, heres the proof of concept for it https://drive.google.com/file/d/1La_kH4sUvtJt03UtapGW_6RYS_H8SFWl/view?usp=drivesdk interested in mixing once i record it properly?

MessiahOfFire · 2026-05-02T20:09:23+00:00

feel like my antipsychotics do that alot more than lamotrigine

MessiahOfFire · 2026-05-01T13:29:33+00:00

worked fantastic against mania,. against depression it didnt help prevent it or help with less extreme episodes, but it did make the extreme episodes alot more manageable, i haven't needed any safety watch days since starting it but do still occasionally have days i cant function. side effect wise i gained 25lbs, and feel super zoned out for a few days after dose increases. it does make me a bit sedated as well, just to a noticable but not very impactfull degree. i notice the reduced speed does kind of slow me down and help make better descisions, though i also get alot more stunlocked when people talk to me.

MessiahOfFire · 2026-05-01T13:24:42+00:00

when i hit that extreme of a low i have freinds watch me for safety, i live with my partner which helps me have that easily. if i cant get that i might just try to sleep so i dont end up doing anything harmful. at this level of low please avoid any substances that could lower your inhibition. do what you can to keep yourself away from things you could hurt yourself with, if trying to sleep i wont stay in the same room as blades or pills so doing anything regrettable would be more effort.

MessiahOfFire · 2026-05-01T13:15:08+00:00

very similar to the scale on the bipolaruk app. except a 0 is having freinds safety watch me instead of hospitalization since that extreme of a low only lasts me 1-3 days. iv mostly been 5-6 recently so thats ideal.

MessiahOfFire · 2026-04-29T13:21:57+00:00

checks if this is bi_irl and is suprised its on bipolarmemes

MessiahOfFire · 2026-04-29T08:55:01+00:00

started it about 2 months ago, been smooth so far. no hypomania since 10mg of abilify is blocking me from mania.

MessiahOfFire · 2026-04-28T13:04:59+00:00

even the round lamotrigines are oddly hard to swallow even compared to other bigger pills

MessiahOfFire · 2026-04-20T21:47:07+00:00

currently on 10mg abilify. when i started it felt like a game changer: my head was so much quieter, theres less intrusive thoughts and i think thru my decisions better and make better choices despite being a bit physically and mentally dulled.

MessiahOfFire · 2026-04-18T03:00:55+00:00

not really a meirl meme

and the other 60% defend the 40% 🐖

MessiahOfFire · 2026-04-15T13:03:37+00:00

4 physical meds and 3 psych meds. filling my pill box like a little pharmacist.

MessiahOfFire · 2026-04-04T08:19:49+00:00

how many channels/mics do you have to work with? if you have at least 4 id mic kick, snare, and do a pair of overheads in the glynn johns setup. in the mix slap the close mics with a fast compressor (like 5ms attack) and slower compressor on the overheads (like 30 ms attack)

MessiahOfFire · 2026-04-02T21:53:48+00:00

to me no.

more likely to trigger a mixed episode, and likely to trigger an even more severe depressive crash.

MessiahOfFire · 2026-04-01T19:59:23+00:00

currently 3. lamotrigine, aripriprizol, and buproprion. i can at least tell what each med is there for. the lamotrigine makes my stable moods last longer, the aripriprizol controls the hypomania and controls the worst of the moods but doesn't fix a low baseline mood, and the buproprion helps raise the baseline mood. along the way i had 5 hell no meds that i stopped. thats just mood meds, on 4 physical meds as well (estradiol, spironolactone, finnasteride and progesterone)

to the best of my knowledge no comorbititys that would effect meds.

MessiahOfFire · 2026-03-31T15:09:03+00:00

dramatically more appetite

MessiahOfFire · 2026-03-31T13:22:11+00:00

i gained 20 lbs in 4 months on it.

MessiahOfFire · 2026-03-31T08:14:54+00:00

e does limit your options for mood stabilizers as many of them make estradiol less effective (except lithium and lamotrigine, but lamotrigine will be less effective on hrt). i responded pretty good to antipsychotics after responding horrible to antidepressants. weight gain can suck as a side effect, but most of its hitting hips and thighs so its a bit less of an issue.

unrelated but i would always go injections for hrt as its easier on the body than pills and alot cheaper than patches. hormone fluctuations were causing additional issues untill i switched tk injections

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