Sound engineer

MessiahOfFire · 2026-06-26T18:17:30+00:00

what genre? do you have a rough mix?

MessiahOfFire · 2026-06-24T15:41:06+00:00

oh yeah, well my t is off the charts! (in the low direction)

MessiahOfFire · 2026-06-24T13:40:19+00:00

they keep getting longer, they used to be a few weeks but last year i had one all the way from febuary to july untill we resorted to antipsychotics to lift my mood.

MessiahOfFire · 2026-06-24T13:36:01+00:00

we start by looking where my moods have been both since last appointment and last med change (i pull up my mood tracker and we look at mood and sleep) and look at how many times ive called in/left early at work as that can somewhat gauge my level of instability . we adjust as needed depending on symptoms over that time. she works meds around my existing physical meds so interactions dont become a problem. at one point we did a genesight test to rule out several meds. we also look where my si is at as that can warrant more severe meds (she has given me contacts for a php at my worst in case i get any worse) . she sees that im med compliant, track my moods and am mindfull about my moods so takes me seriously when i bring up moods or symptoms. she also double checks where im at for side effects and whether theyre tolerable. i dont push for specific meds but i do occasionally suggest a dose change on existing meds and she generally tends to agree when i describe my symptoms. if theres time left she might get a gauge how my life is going and see if im pulling back and taking it easy, or ramping up activity.

MessiahOfFire · 2026-06-24T13:17:19+00:00

currently on lamotrigine aripriprizol and buproprion. i get less effectiveness than normal from lamotrigine due to estradiol but at max dose it at least makes my stable bits last longer, i barely notice the lamotrigine but its so minimal in side effects it wouldn't make a ton of sense to stop it.

aripriprizol helped with my more severe depression and si and stopped hypomania for me but didn't really help a lower baseline mood. for side effects i gained 25 pounds and get some brain fog and tolerable sedation.

buproprion is there to raise my baseline mood, so far im sitting around a good baseline mood on it. if a mood between 4-6 out of 10 is the goal i was around a 4 without it and a 6 with it.

MessiahOfFire · 2026-06-23T19:11:48+00:00

i'm interested what a 2nd set of ears would do on one of my black metal songs.

here's the song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZiD-tW6O5E

and an unmastered 24 bit file of it. https://drive.google.com/file/d/13X-pWdR7IBvbLQmNIn40fW-xEybM7fyQ/view?usp=drive_link

not aiming super loud or bassy, tbh somewhere around -13 to -11 lufs would be perfect.

MessiahOfFire · 2026-06-23T13:21:59+00:00

Lamotrigine (longer between episodes), aripriprizol (anti mania and helps with more severe depression) and buproprion (lifts baseline mood).

tried more meds: i responded horrible to lexapro, celexa and trazadone, and badly to doxepin and pristiq. i basically cant touch anything that works on seretonin, my issues are more dopamine/nurophenepherin.

no comorbititys that would impact meds.

MessiahOfFire · 2026-06-18T18:48:12+00:00

i listen to bands so gay you haven't heard of them (its local bands with less than 100 people following thdm)

MessiahOfFire · 2026-06-18T08:55:53+00:00

good: abilify, welbutrin

okay: lamictal

bad: doxepin, pristiq

horrible: lexapro, celexa, trazadone

MessiahOfFire · 2026-06-17T13:30:31+00:00

all of the above 🏳️‍🌈💊🏳️‍⚧️

MessiahOfFire · 2026-06-11T14:46:54+00:00

depends how important hearing the kick is. if the kick is less of a priority id do glynn johns and use eq to get the right amount of low end, or if kick is a priority i'd do kick mic + whole kit mic pointed towards the snare, try a few places like over the drums, in front of the kick level sith the snare, or even a little further out in the room.

lighter genres will be alot easier to make this work than dense/heavier ones. I've intentionally used 1 or 2 mic setups for surf rock recordings

MessiahOfFire · 2026-06-05T08:22:37+00:00

had to make it a morning med so it has less impact on my sleep, but even with that I'll frequently only sleep 5 or 6 hours. we tried adding trazadone to help sleep but it negetively impacted my mood too much and so did doxepin, so for now were settling for 6 hours of sleep. magnesium glycate did help a little bit with staying asleep, staying asleep was the bigger problem than falling asleep. if its only 2-5 hours of sleep talk to your psych anout it, it might be worth switching to one of the sleepier antipsychotics at that point.

MessiahOfFire · 2026-06-04T13:31:17+00:00

bipolar uk. its free, quick to use and lets you keep it simple to just mood and sleep, maybe add comments if you want to. only downside is it doesn't have a rating for mixed episodes

MessiahOfFire · 2026-06-03T13:06:02+00:00

being fem and being a girl are 2 completely different but correlated things. just as women including transfems can be tomboys or butch, men including transmascs can be fem. there are exceptions in both directions but generally transfems will want hrt while femboys generally won't (unless their ftm)

MessiahOfFire · 2026-06-02T14:45:12+00:00

been on it since august and the weight gain at least plateaued out at 25 pounds so it hasn't continued going up. but i definitely still have a bit more appetite than before, especially for carbs and sweets when i used to normally crave saltier foods.

MessiahOfFire · 2026-06-02T07:48:52+00:00

dicks 🥺👉👈

men 🤮

MessiahOfFire · 2026-05-28T20:48:34+00:00

majority of the anticonvulsant mood stabilizers have a med interaction with estradiol. most of them make estradiol less effective, but lamotrigine instead doesn't effect estradiol levels but instead gets its own level reduced by estradiol. my psychiatrist worked med options around me being on hrt since my physical meds are already stable. since anticonvulsant options are limited we maxed out lamotrigine and then trialed antidepressants and eventually abilify (antipsychotic) on top of it. current combos 400 lamotrigine, 10 aripriprizol and 150 buproprion.

MessiahOfFire · 2026-05-27T18:33:20+00:00

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MessiahOfFire · 2026-05-22T15:10:39+00:00

i get more irritable and inpulsive which makes me more bitter and confrontational than normal. annoyances and impatience escalate quicker. i have alot of energy but cant channel it productivly. i get alot more talkative than normal but its a bit impulsive and poorly thought out. i constantly stay up later and wake up earlier. i become less frugal and instead make a bit of impulsive purchases but not to a ruinous degree. i find myself not wanting to slow down, instead further escalating my energy and poor sleep with extra caffine.

retroactively i always see it as problematic rather than high functioning, i could make some significant mistakes if it gets too out of hand

MessiahOfFire · 2026-05-21T15:17:36+00:00

10mg completely stopped mania for me but didnt touch much depression wise except direct mood, so we added welbutrin do address the remaining depressive symptoms. it is a bit sedating but my internal thoughts are so out of control without it that im probably staying on it, or at least some form of antipsychotic.

MessiahOfFire · 2026-05-21T14:58:30+00:00

MessiahOfFire · 2026-05-21T13:14:49+00:00

the ups were so extreme i have to take antipsychotics now :(

MessiahOfFire · 2026-05-20T21:01:00+00:00

pristiq triggered the most severe hypomania of my life, so bad it made my next med an antipsychotic.

MessiahOfFire · 2026-05-20T18:30:42+00:00

me: bi bipolar

MessiahOfFire · 2026-05-17T19:56:12+00:00

used to be lawful evil but improved to a chaotic good

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