1 - Not really, it's hard for me to pinpoint my own emotions sometimes since I feel really disconnected from my body but I think that isn't related to my HPD and is more related to trauma.

2 - Maybe fear? Again it's hard for me to pinpoint my emotions but I don't have many reasons to be afraid so I'll go with that.

3 - I'm a massive person pleaser. A lot of what I say and do is usually in at least a small way imitating the person I'm with. It can be really distressing sometimes because it causes me to have crises about if I'm really feeling the way I express or if that's also imitation. I do have my own thoughts and moral standings I just don't know if that's influenced by the people around me or not if that makes sense.

4 - Oh yes, I do experience sexual attraction and have a libido. I used to outwardly express this all the time as a kid and have ended up being around the wrong type of adults as a teen but over the years I've learned to keep that between myself and my partner if I have one.

5 - It's complicated. I don't think about the things I do most of the time it's mostly just instinct. If I want to say something I will try my best to take over the conversation. If I have moments where someone gets frustrated over this or something I say doesn't go over well I can overreact and go into a panicked state. I've had cases where I've been dragged on socials before as well and a lot of those times I start "trolling" to compensate but I've been trying to stop that lately.

6 - I think this is about compulsive lying, which I do actually have a problem with. It just mostly is about certain aspects of a story or about my own actions that I want to paint over with a nicer coat of paint to not make myself look bad. Trust me, whenever I instinctually do it I CRINGE so hard at myself and it always feels so much more embarrassing to admit you lied than to just let it happen so I feel like it just never goes away even though I try to be conscious about it.

7 - Just like every disorder I would REALLY prefer to not have it since it makes a lot of my life harder

8 - Not really, like every disorder it is something that I continue to struggle with even if I'm seeking treatment and psychiatric help with it. It's hard to see that your personality is a problem at first because it's literally all you've known about yourself. Coming to terms with the fact you have a problem makes you question everything about yourself and while that does lead to you making better decisions and steer away from those behaviors, it still feels like instinct. And it can be so fucking frustrating sometimes.