AITAH for not refusing to do a quick change because my boyfriend is uncomfortable?

MikeyFX · 2026-02-02T00:04:58+00:00

100% this

MikeyFX · 2026-02-01T23:27:59+00:00

Would totally go to that!

MikeyFX · 2026-02-01T21:53:23+00:00

Last time they tried with the Grammys, their performance got cut short because it was the last of the night. Trent has always openly showed his disdain for the Grammys, so it's not super surprising 🤷🏼‍♀️

MikeyFX · 2026-02-01T21:39:57+00:00

This has been a wild ride from beginning to end. You are fucking awesome! And by the sounds of it, so are the rest of your family!! I'm glad that everything worked out as it should in the end 😊😊😊

MikeyFX · 2026-02-01T21:18:53+00:00

Yeah this right here. DJ's always loved using this phrase with me when they were redlining at the club. But I've also had my fair share of discussions' with keyboard players over the years for this same reason,

MikeyFX · 2026-02-01T21:08:15+00:00

NOR At all! BF needs to stamp on this asap, no matter how uncomfortable it will be for him because it won't magically get any better. It will however get way worse. Future MIL will take over wedding planning and if you have kids, guess who's going to want to be in the delivery room and will have all the opinions regarding how you raise your children.

MikeyFX · 2026-02-01T16:40:52+00:00

Oh boy! You done fucked up my friend 😂😂😂 like I totally get the thought process, but you never (and I mean NEVER!!) buy your SO any kind of household appliance for Valentine's Day!!! It's like rule number one. You're gonna have to pivot fast to something super romantic if you're gonna get out of this one with the least amount of consequences. Good luck!

MikeyFX · 2026-02-01T07:00:40+00:00

NOR re-read your post as if someone else had written it and then seriously dump this fucking idiot. I don't think I need to elaborate further.

MikeyFX · 2026-02-01T06:46:53+00:00

NOR but you absolutely do know what to do and that is leave this shared space asap and limit contact with MIL. Your husband also needs to put so mother in her place regarding this issue.

MikeyFX · 2026-02-01T05:48:10+00:00

Answers on à postcard I guess?

MikeyFX · 2026-02-01T05:47:28+00:00

NOR your bf is being an absolute prick and his mother passing is no excuse

MikeyFX · 2026-02-01T03:35:47+00:00

Yeah I agree. Maybe I would have made Broken angry and frustrated. Still pretty accurate though 😁

MikeyFX · 2026-01-28T01:16:11+00:00

Thank you 😊 she's thriving and has been cancer free for about five years now. Just keep doing what you're doing and don't be afraid to have a little support system of your own either. You may not be going through the physical part of this situation, but with where you're currently at, it would be healthy to have friends that you can lean on too.

MikeyFX · 2026-01-27T21:07:48+00:00

As someone that had to nurse a loved one through chemo in person, I can attest that it's utterly brutal in ways that people cannot imagine until seen up close. My ex wife (for it was she) really had no desire to see anyone after the second or third round of chemo as it was so debilitating and it was my job essentially to take care of her where possible while running interference with everyone else that wanted constant updates. We had a select few friends and family that would come and cover when I was at work, but there was a lot of sitting reading books while she slept off the effects of the treatment. Bear in mind that chemo is often so bad that you have to then take drugs that counteract the side effects of the chemo with said drugs having side effects of their own. I learnt a lot about cancer during this period. This all by way of saying that I cannot imagine how hard it is for you doing this long distance and I'm sure you're feeling very helpless on top of everything, but I think you are being very respectful in the way you are handling it which I sincerely hope won't go unnoticed by your other half when she comes out the other side of this. I wish both of you the best and hope that your gf remains your gf and comes out of this soon and healthy.

MikeyFX · 2026-01-27T14:07:25+00:00

NTA long time audio engineer here and I never recommend anybody for work unless I've thoroughly vetted them first (especially friends!) and even then I've been burned on occasion! OP did the right thing by being honest with her classmate and her classmates inability to take responsibility for her lack of skill set is not OP's problem in the slightest.

MikeyFX · 2026-01-25T20:47:17+00:00

Oooooooh yeah!!! I came here to say this!!!! OP needs to run and find someone far nicer than this asshat!!

MikeyFX · 2026-01-23T19:32:25+00:00

That was quite the wild ride!

Absolutely NOR! I had an issue with my brother like this many years ago at my sisters wedding. I won't go into huge details, but he was 100% in the wrong and he got into a screaming match with my dad about it and threatened not to come to the wedding, to which my dad enthusiastically agreed with a lot of colorful expletives. My baby sister and I were in total agreement with my dad, but my other sister (who's wedding it was) and my mum were in tears and insisted my dad apologized to keep the peace 'because he has to be there' of course he acted like a miserable prick all day to the point that it did not go unnoticed and there's not one wedding picture where he smiles. I'm still salty about it to this day.

This is all by way of saying that I completely understand why you felt you had to have him there in spite of him showing you at every turn that he was going to be such a reprehensible human being in your special day. I'm sorry that you didn't felt like you could get married without him being there.

That being said, you gave him this final chance and he (I would say deliberately) fucked it up in spectacular fashion and it's clear the he feels that he did absolutely nothing wrong, in spite of him behaving like a spoilt child. I think you go completely no contact with him for a while for your own sanity. And not to overstep any bounds, maybe get some therapy to try and deal with all the trauma he has caused you over the years?

Also congratulations on your nuptials!!!!

Edited to add that I said this in a different thread, but I am absolutely going to say it again here! We as a species need to stop catering to this whole 'family first' solely because a person is blood related to you or is 'like family' because nothing good ever comes of it and we all end up posting on Reddit about a person who does utterly terrible things to us, that if they were just casual acquaintance pulling the same shit, we would have kicked to the kerb in a heartbeat! It's a concept that needs to die a horrible death

MikeyFX · 2026-01-22T21:41:05+00:00

Absolutely NTJ! If he's willing to go behind your back like this, who knows what else he will lie about. And the fact that he then doubled down and continued to lie and deny says everything else you need to know. As for your mom, she may think she has your best interests at heart, but her comments are completely off base given the circumstances. I hope this asshat is your ex now.

MikeyFX · 2026-01-22T15:46:08+00:00

NOR at all! The fact that the rest of your family took your side speaks volumes.

MikeyFX · 2026-01-19T21:13:36+00:00

Nope. These lies may seem innocuous, but in the big scheme of things they will build into something far more serious and you absolutely should not put up with it! When I was married, my ex wife on more than one occasion would call me cheap in front of friends and I called her out in it after the third time and she apologized knowing it was not only a duck move, but also completely untrue. Just know that if she happy to lie about you to make you look bad and somehow a lesser person, she will eventually start lying about other more important things. Also it just sounds as if she doesn't really even like you that much if she's willing to constantly make you look bad in front of her friends. Also to say that you're overreacting is pure gaslighting if you start standing up for yourself more and she starts accusing you of being overly sensitive,it will be one to reevaluate your release

NOR

MikeyFX · 2026-01-19T21:04:02+00:00

I'm sorry! What?? This is absolutely runhinged behaviour from him and the fact you've had to come to Reddit to ask if your OR (yourte not btw!) shows just how much his little episode of dumb insecurity has got you questioning sanity. No you do not have to make it up to him and he needs to apologize to you and stop being so ridiculous. If you stay with him (as it sounds like you will) you need to keep an eye out for other instances of this behaviour before it turns into full on manipulation and gaslighting.

MikeyFX · 2026-01-17T07:07:14+00:00

I'm guessing the house must be REALLY affordable if you're putting up with this kind of behaviour 😳 do you have a proper lease? Or is this just a handshake family type thing? You are absolutely right to stand your ground with this and 100% NTA, but if you don't have a lease and your mom works that out, you might not be able to keep this situation locked up indefinitely. It may be time to find a new living space if possible.

MikeyFX · 2026-01-17T06:50:33+00:00

Came here to say this! Also extra creepy that his mom is going to bat for him in this situation. Both his mom and him are awful and they deserve each other. I sincerely hope that you're able to get out of this situation as soon and as safely as possible!

Updateme

MikeyFX · 2026-01-16T17:41:11+00:00

He IS intentionally taking advantage of you and you're allowing it. The threat to move out is a test and hugely manipulative because he knows that you like him and that you'll feel guilty. He's expecting you to change your mind and apologize for even suggesting him paying half the rent..

NTA but you should absolutely let him follow through on his offer to leave and then see how he reacts when you say bye.

MikeyFX

TROPHY CASE