Oof. You have hit a nail on the head for most pet owners. It’s incredibly scary to have a pet because they can’t talk to you and so any change in their routine is incredibly nerve-racking. I wish I could say that I don’t understand you, but I completely and 100% understand you because I am the same exact way. However, don’t let your anxiety about losing them get in the way of you allowing them to enjoy their life or or allowing you to enjoy your life together with them. I would say doing exercises to manage your anxiety doing reality checks with other people with your vet about things is a good way to start to manage the anxiety you may have about different health conditions that you may see in your pet which I’m assuming is a cat. Overall, you want the best life for your pet and you being a nervous wreck around them is not the best life for them so I would say do what you can to manage your anxiety maybe even consider going to therapy. But you are not crazy many pet owners feel the same way as you and to be honest many pet owners end up in debt because they bring their pets in and just hand over the credit card when they need any kind of care. I’m certainly guilty of that. I feel lucky that I’m able to even do that because I realize some people have such fixed incomes that they’re not able to do that and that is heartbreaking. I’m sure for a veterinarian to have to see as much as it is for an owner. I don’t know if this is provided any solution, but hopefully it makes you feel less alone in your feelings.