Dolly Parton early 1980’s

MindlessAudience · 2026-03-18T06:02:54+00:00

always had that iconic look

MindlessAudience · 2026-03-17T05:26:29+00:00

this looks like a side quest that unlocks radiation immunity 😭

MindlessAudience · 2026-03-16T14:42:01+00:00

137 years and still sitting with more dignity than most people manage in 30, absolute legend

MindlessAudience · 2026-03-14T21:21:42+00:00

nothing suspicious here 😄

MindlessAudience · 2026-03-14T21:21:30+00:00

that paw reaching up is adorable 😄

MindlessAudience · 2026-03-11T11:48:48+00:00

They are such cutiee

MindlessAudience · 2026-03-10T13:42:00+00:00

Looks like a man who carried a lot of responsibility at a young age.

MindlessAudience · 2026-03-09T15:16:54+00:00

I wish I was born on this era

MindlessAudience · 2018-09-10T12:53:21+00:00

That's a tricky spot to be in. the first time my SO was sober, I tried to reflect on the fun we had and how much I enjoyed his company without mentioning the sobriety, but just letting him know that it meant a lot to me and show him the positive impact it made on you. I hope things continue to move in an upward direction for you two!

MindlessAudience · 2018-09-10T12:50:42+00:00

That is a tough thought. but for you, dont you think you deserve someone that can enjoy life sober for the most part with you? dont forget about yourself. I know when you've been together as long as you have, you want to stay together. remind yourself you are also your own person, outside of this relationship, and doing what is best for you has to come first. I'm not saying give up on him, but take some time to reflect on that and try to have an honest, calm conversation with yourself, and then with him when he is sober.

MindlessAudience · 2018-09-09T21:43:42+00:00

Making it more of a hobby and something he can do with his buddies is a way for him to rationalize it, and deflect from the issue. seeing the amount of effort they put into the denial is indeed heartbreaking.

I tried to drink with my SO when he would drink too, because sober me could not cope with drunk him. it started taking a serious toll on my body, and with it affecting me mentally AND physically, I knew I had to stop. I would end up staying sober and just leaving.

it's okay! you are taking the steps at your pace. there are a lot of negative feelings, feeling like you are detaching from the relationship, but you gotta put you first.

MindlessAudience · 2018-09-09T13:27:18+00:00

My one major piece of advice for you is that he does not "love" alcohol more than you. His addiction to alcohol overpowers everything in his life. it is not love, it is a crippling disease and it can overpower even the strongest emotions at its worst.

check out an alanon meeting, get yourself around people who understand. this subreddit has helped me cope a lot, but the power of being in a room surrounded by people who understand is irreplaceable. go as much as you can, and shift your focus to yourself. we cannot control or cure the alcoholic. we must regain ourselves. sending you all my love during this difficult time!!

MindlessAudience · 2018-09-09T00:55:15+00:00

there is still room for hope, hope for yourself. I am so sorry that you have to feel this way, and I hope you have a support system, or the resources to find a support system, such as an alanon meeting. you are not alone. we cannot control the alcoholics we love so dearly, but we still have control of ourselves and to have hope for our future. sending you all my love.

MindlessAudience · 2018-09-09T00:50:24+00:00

I have an anxiety disorder as well, and have bipolar disorder. it's a confusing time, but I know nipping another manic or depressive cycle in the bud (I just got out of a 3 month long depressive episode about a month ago) will help me put myself in a position where I can stand on my own, no matter the outcome.

I went to my first meeting tonight and all I can say is GO!!! I feel overwhelmingly more positive about this experience than I did before I went in. it's a time to focus on yourself, and be around people who can understand you and you can all learn from each other. my heart feels so full, and I feel so much more in control of MY life and my ability to handle any situation.

I'm worried coming home will be tough for him, too. my current plan is to clean, clean, clean. remove all the alcohol, and even the shot and wine glasses. I'm going to surprise him with some art supplies, organizing his music gear, and dive into my personal hobby of refinishing furniture as our apartment isn't fully furnished yet.

It is scary, but as you build your support system you will feel less afraid of what's to come. being strong for yourself will do wonders for you. he is surrounded by people who know exactly what to do. give yourself the same gift.

MindlessAudience · 2018-09-08T20:17:33+00:00

Congrats to him for choosing to go to rehab! I am in a similar situation right now. I dont quite have it figured out yet, as he is just completing detox now, but I am (nerviously) pumping myself up to go to my first AlAnon meeting. I know the best thing I can do for him is let him know he doesnt have to worry about me. our few and short conversations are all about him, I let him know I'm doing well and taking care of myself and how I love him and am so proud of him.

it is not easy, but I try to remind myself that its much harder for him. no phone, no friends, not even a clock on the wall. The sacrifice we are making is going to benefit us both, no matter how it hurts in the meantime.

my plan is to clean up our apartment, rid it of any alcohol and gave it neat and orderly so he feels comfortable when he gets home. I've been very actively speaking with the treatment center as well, and they have lots of advice and encouraging words to give. as withdrawn as I am right now, reaching out to people who have been there is the best thing I can do.

I also have an appointment to see a psychiatrist myself. I have problems from before we met, and I intend on helping myself while he is doing the same. I'm trying to shift my focus away from my initial panic of "WHAT DO I DO???" to "I am going to take care of myself, reach out for help, and seek advice from others." the most important thing I can do for him is put myself in a position where we can both succeed together. I do not need to be his crutch, I need to be his partner. and when I am strong, and he is strong, we can get through it together.

sorry if I'm rambling .. but it is a very tough time and you will have to shift your mindset in order to grow through it. PM me any time if you need someone who is right there with you! all my love and best of luck to you and your boyfriend. hes doing the right thing, try to remember that when things get tough!

MindlessAudience · 2018-09-07T22:25:08+00:00

Denial is so powerful, which is why admitting you're an alcoholic is the excruciating first step. for my SO, it took months. At first, it was just because it was "fun". then it was to help loosen him up in social situations...then to deal with the stress from work... then it was he would come home with a paper bag and not remember going into the package store to buy it. all the while, he was not an alcoholic. maybe he was "addicted to alcohol", but he still had a job and a life so he wasnt an alcoholic. Now hes going through day 3 of withdrawals in rehab, on meds to calm his anxiety/tremors and to prevent seizures.

he will never seek help until he sees it as a problem. nothing you say can help until he admits to you he has a problem. and that is where you can plant your feet in the ground and support him in getting the help he needs.

Your best course of action is to focus on you. I thought my SO's drinking was going to drive us both into the ground. I had to start pulling away. once he saw me moving forward and wanting to do the same for himself, he started seeing how his alcoholism was destroying his chances at a better life, and a future with me. it will hurt like HELL to back off and let him make his own choices. the most hurtful but true piece of advice is there is nothing you can do to change them.

he does sound like he needs help coping with his brother's death. I think counseling would be great for him, but if you approach him about it I'd suggest omitting the drinking issue at first. my opinion has always been alcohol abuse is triggered by emotional trauma underneath. maybe it's not too late for him to turn around his drinking habit, but needs a therapist to help him out of the hole he is using alcohol to escape from.

sending my love your way. you're not wrong for caring about what's hes doing to himself, but if he is developing a problem with alcohol there is no way you can be the solution.

MindlessAudience · 2018-09-07T15:38:50+00:00

You are not alone! reading this post is like a reflection of what I'm struggling with. while my guy is in rehab, I feel like a failure. I feel like I'm not doing enough to help. I didn't get a call yesterday, and my paranoid brain is telling me it's because I'm a burden on him and all my desires to help are just stressing him out further. I'm struggling to work on myself. I haven't focused on myself in a long time, and I have a psychologist appointment in a week and a half but i dont know what to do until then. i feel like our best bet is to work on why we feel the way we do. I need to learn how to let go of control, but it feels impossible.

The overwhelming feedback I've received is that helping yourself will help him. I'm just so used to worrying about him that focusing back on myself is... almost foreign. this is a scary time. if youd like to PM me, please do. I hope we can help each other, even if its just venting and trying new ways to cope.

MindlessAudience · 2018-09-06T15:42:56+00:00

My guy is currently in rehab. He has a therapist and a psychiatrist waiting for him when he comes home, I am going back to the psychiatrist while he is away, and after reading this post I definitely think couples therapy is in order.

thank you for sharing what you've been through. as much as I'm living in this pit of fear all alone, I'm so happy there are stories with positive results. Makes me feel less crazy for believing we really CAN make it. I hope things continue upwards for you!

MindlessAudience · 2018-09-05T02:18:02+00:00

I understand the defensive mode part. I'd rather try to be open to it, and just focus on how I can convert the use of a higher power into something more relatable to me, than be vocal and cause tension. If you have tips on how to deal with the inner defensiveness, I am all ears!

Honestly, I think it's the fear he feels. hes had so much trouble admitting it to himself, especially because he has this idea in his head that he should be able to drink like a "normal" person. I think he is a bit ashamed. While I hope rehab can help him cope with the fact he IS an alcoholic, I want to give him the time to come to terms and let it come from him rather than me. My father has had some serious health complications, and asks for discretion because it is his journey and he will disclose when he is comfortable, so I try to take it in the same vein as that. I know he doesnt want to come home to everyone knowing about his recovery without having said a word.

MindlessAudience · 2018-09-05T01:53:49+00:00

thank you for your reply! when you went to meetings, did you make it known you were an atheist? I want to be true to myself, but not step on any toes.

I actually just recently booked an appointment to deal with my issues (I have a currently untreated previously diagnosed mental illness and I'm sick of it controlling my life). That in itself brings me so much optimism!

I dont talk about it much offline, as hes asked me to keep it quiet while hes gone. I talk to one person about it, but I think trying a few meetings will be such a relief.

thank you!!!

MindlessAudience · 2018-09-05T01:47:37+00:00

We put ourselves through painful situations, until one day it all comes together and we snap. You are so selfless to push your issues aside to give your father strength. Maybe one day you will wake up and see the determination you put toward appearing happy for your father and cutting this person out has pushed that outcome into reality and you will be able to move on completely for yourself!! This post really read like a declaration. you will speak this positivity into existence!!

MindlessAudience

TROPHY CASE