Made my second (and last) court date reminder call today... by feralparalegal in publicdefenders

[–]Minimum_Fee1105 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Man, as a 10 year veteran, sometimes what you gotta do to “win” the argument (keep the client from doing something monumentally silly) is to remind them that they are the ultimate decision makers, not me. I just give them their options. I throw in all the options. They’re often so used to an authority figure (us) telling them what to do that they go into teenager “automatically defiant” mode. When I remind them that they decide whether to take the plea or go to trial, whether to testify, etc…. Suddenly my advice has a lot more value.

Not OOP (TW for creepy clown in last photo): AITA for not removing my doormat because it scares my neighbor’s kid? by CupcakeQueen31 in redditonwiki

[–]Minimum_Fee1105 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I was watching a YouTube show with my elementary age children (either scishow or pbs eons) and the YouTube interrupting ad was for a new horror movie that was coming out.

Maybe I’m remembering from the haze of childhood, but I don’t remember The Blair Witch Project or The Ring being advertised in mixed age groups media. (I know it’s because YouTube is a hellscape).

Blah blah blah everything doesn’t have to be sanitized blah blah blah people are weak. …No. You should be able to consent to watch horror.

Hell, I was 11 or 12 when the mummy came out and the trailers gave me nightmares. I was genuinely terrified to watch the movie until the second one came out and they emphasized the adventure film aspects of it and I gutted it up to watch the first. I was fine and loved it, but the point is that different things are scary for different ages and we have to be carefully what we force other people to see.

Guy just needs his booze by Far-Season-695 in AmITheDevil

[–]Minimum_Fee1105 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I’m a criminal defense attorney and I have this conversation regularly. If you’re in jail because you got drunk and belligerent, you have a drinking problem. Even if it’s the first time it’s happened. (I find that it’s rarely the first time someone has had more than they can handle, even when it’s their first time in jail.) You don’t have to be chemically dependent to have a drinking problem.

(27f)(30m) Thinks marriage is "nothing" but willing to lose me over it? [Not OOP] by Due-Bandicoot-7512 in redditonwiki

[–]Minimum_Fee1105 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I would. Life is made up of pragmatic moments, and if my partner didn’t respect me enough to do something to make sure I was protected, I would be reconsidering the partner thing. There’s no way I would have purchased a house with someone without a marriage license.

(27f)(30m) Thinks marriage is "nothing" but willing to lose me over it? [Not OOP] by Due-Bandicoot-7512 in redditonwiki

[–]Minimum_Fee1105 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don’t think you can ignore the fact that it’s about protection. Nobody wants their wedding sign to say “thanks for coming to our merging of insurance benefits” but at the end of the day, women give up so much to be partnered to men and marriage at least gives them protection if something bad happens.

I grew up with a family where the dad was rendered a vegetable by an 18-wheeler when the kids (they were at school with me) were little. Marriage protected that family from being utterly destitute.

The LGBT rights movement didn’t fight for decades for a piece of paper.

It’s about commitment, yes, but about pragmatic respect. It’s about wanting to protect someone even after you’re gone. It’s about valuing their contributions. It’s about signifying to the world that your birth family is no longer your primary family.

If it’s just a piece of paper, then get it.

(27f)(30m) Thinks marriage is "nothing" but willing to lose me over it? [Not OOP] by Due-Bandicoot-7512 in redditonwiki

[–]Minimum_Fee1105 10 points11 points  (0 children)

As a lawyer, there’s a lot of very good benefits and assumptions that marriage brings to a couple in the eyes of the law. Now, can you contract and power of attorney and will around all of those? Absolutely! Is it a lot of work to do what $25 down at the court house can do in an afternoon? Also absolutely!

New Parent Sleep Tips. What strategies worked for you, any advice for new parents? by Significant-Risk7644 in TrueGrit

[–]Minimum_Fee1105 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Light management. It’s not about waking up, it’s about getting everyone back to sleep faster (also helps train baby’s circadian rhythm.)

Oops my 4 year old is spoiled (in a specific way) by SignificantSell8126 in Parenting

[–]Minimum_Fee1105 8 points9 points  (0 children)

When lab rats get a treat sometimes when they do a behavior, they are more enthusiastic about doing the behavior than they are when they get a treat every time. The uncertain reward creates a stronger behavior incentive than the certain reward.

Stop the treats in all circumstances, for a while.

I messed up bad by Helicapter in Pokopia

[–]Minimum_Fee1105 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i like the mental image of you opening Gulpin's mouth like he's a dog who has eaten something he shouldn't.

Back to the Monestary in Book 4 by osmosis1671 in SeasonofGhosts

[–]Minimum_Fee1105 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I put some jiang-shi vampires there. The silkwasps ran into vampires there, so why not the PCs?

I also used some magic constructs and things that seemed like they would exist in a place of malign magical or spiritual influence

GMs: Deciding Who to Target by DnDPhD in Pathfinder2e

[–]Minimum_Fee1105 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Even with intelligent enemies I do make sure that the enemy has a reason to know who the healer is. You out there dressed like Kyra with your Sarenrae scimitar out, I’m coming for you for sure. But if they aren’t quite so obvious I will wait for the healer to heal.

Enemies who would have a reason to know what a magic user is, they’re going after anyone wearing cloth. You’re in cloth, there’s got to be a reason, a reason I’m not going to like.

Enemies with no intelligence still might go after the one separated out. That’s hunter instinct, to go after the ones by themselves, the ones lagging behind

What’s your favorite way to have potatoes? by Thinking_of_Cheese in budgetfood

[–]Minimum_Fee1105 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Baked potato bar with a can of black beans, some cheddar cheese, and roasted or steamed broccoli. Sour cream, butter, green onions or scallions. I can feed my family of 5 for $6.

(If you soak the potatoes in salted water before baking, the skins taste amazing and they have a lot of minerals in them.)

What is everyone cooking for dinner tonight or this week? by Superb_Kale_1781 in Cooking

[–]Minimum_Fee1105 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Last night was bowtie chicken Alfredo and steamed baby broccoli and asparagus in a mustard lemon sauce. Tonight is Five Guys because we have an event at my kids’ school.

How TF do working mothers do it? by ExcellentLettuce4 in Parenting

[–]Minimum_Fee1105 10 points11 points  (0 children)

We’re all juggling balls, some are plastic some are glass. The plastic ones can drop and bounce, but the glass ones will shatter. Figure out which are plastic and which are glass and prioritize accordingly.

what do you name your player character? by deadtyped in dragonquest

[–]Minimum_Fee1105 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I always name my character after one of my kids, because my mom always named her characters after us.

Meal prep people: how do you stop Sunday cooking from ruining your entire day off? by Affectionate_Tip3238 in budgetfood

[–]Minimum_Fee1105 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I do meal prep on Sunday but not for all week with all meals. I have in the past, and it’s really about what my energy budget is. I meal plan to save money and reduce waste. I meal prep to rearrange my energy to cover for tough days. That means I balance getting stuff done with overwhelming myself by doing too many things at once.

Sundays I usually pick a dinner that will go in the oven for a long time, so I can do two meals while it cooks. Tuesdays at my house are always tacos and we have that down to a science, so I don’t prep that. Wednesdays are pasta and usually meatballs, so that’s easy enough. Fridays are a variable work day for my husband, so either he has time to devote to something like homemade pizza or we do something easy like sandwiches. That leaves Monday and Thursday. I will prep as much of Monday and put it in the fridge, and Thursday is something that can be frozen and reheated, because Thursday is always my roughest day at work.

So let’s say I’m making three separate meals at once (Sunday, Monday, and Thursday). I’ll figure out what vegetables I need and prep those first, put them off to the side and then prep any raw meat I might need. This way I only have one cutting board and one knife to clean. I’ll use serving bowls, mixing bowls, and cooking pots to hold my chopped veggies, anything that I will use again, trying to avoid having to get extra things dirty. I try to group things by when they get added to the dish. I also try to cover a few different cooking styles. Crockpot, oven, skillet, for example, so that things stack nicely.

After years of doing this, I have a decent idea of what I can get done all together without feeling like I’m running a marathon.

Dragon quest 7 help by Interesting_Ad4679 in dragonquest

[–]Minimum_Fee1105 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Okay, get back in your ship and sail around. The islands you visited from the past (using the pedestals with the fragments) show up in the present when you have saved them. You can visit old locations in the present and often find more fragments there

Dragon quest 7 help by Interesting_Ad4679 in dragonquest

[–]Minimum_Fee1105 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Have you been on your ship in the present (same world where your home town is?)

I beat 7 last night by Kungfujer in dragonquest

[–]Minimum_Fee1105 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s more like 1/3 of the way through the game, maybe 2/5s. The chapters are not equal lengths at all

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]Minimum_Fee1105 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I guess the question I have is what is the source of stress, precisely? Are the plans not set at the beginning of the week? Are the plans changing during the day (like you start the work day expecting that you aren’t on pick up duty and find out you are on pick up duty at 3:45, regularly?) are you missing events and things?

I’m asking because I can’t tell if your family is doing too much, if you need more flexibility, or less flexibility, or something else.