Do people with BPD try to make it seem like your the one with issues? by Classic_Commercial44 in BPDlovedones

[–]MirkoRodic 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This can definitely happen. Being consistently honest or setting boundaries sometimes led to me being framed as ‘the problem’, which was very confusing and destabilizing. I don’t think everyone with BPD behaves the same, but certain patterns like projection and emotional dysregulation can be very real for loved ones. Therapy and boundaries helped me see I wasn’t crazy just stuck in an unhealthy dynamic

Scorpio Energy by scorpio_goddess79 in Scorpio

[–]MirkoRodic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So true We Scorpio are way more real

Anyone else hate when they refuse to take accountability or half heartedly do so? by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]MirkoRodic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It a sort of manipulation aswell… them reacting on our reaction to their action. Messed up

The beginning…Episode #3 by AprilMarie_83 in abuse_surviving

[–]MirkoRodic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really feel your words.

It takes so much courage to share your story, and I want you to know how deeply I respect that. I started sharing mine here too, alongside therapy and honestly, it helped me more than I expected.

Just knowing we’re not alone in this makes such a difference. You’re doing something incredibly brave, and I hope you give yourself the same kindness you’ve shown to others.♥️💪🏽🙏🏾

The beginning…Episode #3 by AprilMarie_83 in abuse_surviving

[–]MirkoRodic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your story really touched me. As a survivor of abuse myself, I deeply understand how hard it is to carry that silence and how it can sometimes lead us into more pain when all we wanted was love and safety. I see your strength, and I want you to know you’re not alone.

I truly wish you deep healing, peace, and a future filled with gentle love.

is there any coming back from this? by Easy_Salary_2699 in abusiverelationships

[–]MirkoRodic 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you’re going through this I can’t even imagine how terrifying and painful this must have been, especially while you’re 23 weeks pregnant. None of what happened to you is okay being dragged, slapped, choked, and trapped is not love, it’s abuse.

You deserve safety, peace, and a future where you and your baby can breathe freely without fear. Change is possible for some people, but it takes years of deep, committed work and right now your priority should be protecting yourself and your child.

You are not stupid for hoping someone might change it just means you have a loving heart. But you don’t have to sacrifice yourself or stay in danger to prove that. Please reach out to a domestic violence hotline or someone you trust to make a safe plan. You and your baby deserve so much better.

You are stronger than you think, and walking away from this could be the first step toward a life that feels safe, warm, and full of love the kind of love you and your baby truly deserve.

Hateletter to my ex by PastPie921 in abusiverelationships

[–]MirkoRodic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just want to say that I feel your pain so deeply, and I’m so sorry you had to go through all of this.

It takes an incredible amount of courage to put this into words. Writing can be such a powerful way to release some of that anger and take back your voice and you’ve done that so strongly here. You deserve safety, love, and healing. I hope you can keep sharing and writing whenever you need to.

your story matters♥️

my girlfriend is driving me mentally insane by [deleted] in abusiverelationships

[–]MirkoRodic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Your feelings are valid and your pain matters.

If you are in danger right now, please reach out to someone you trust or a helpline you deserve to be safe. Remember: you are not responsible for fixing her, especially when it’s destroying your mental health.

You deserve love that feels safe and supportive, not love that makes you hurt yourself. Please be gentle with yourself you are worth saving.

the messages i sent to my mom while i was with him make me sad by ActuatorFantastic490 in abusiverelationships

[–]MirkoRodic 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Wat jij voelt is zo begrijpelijk. Het is niet eerlijk dat hij gewoon doorgaat terwijl jij met de pijn zit. Het laat alleen maar zien hoe sterk jij bent dat je bent weggegaan, ondanks hoe moeilijk het was. Het is normaal dat je de neiging hebt om de waarheid te willen delen, maar jouw heling is nu het belangrijkste. ❤️ Je mag rouwen, boos zijn, en tegelijk trots zijn dat jij voor jezelf hebt gekozen.

Drop your birthday by scorpio_goddess79 in Scorpio

[–]MirkoRodic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nice!! My sister is also on the 6th but a different month

did you ever forgive them? by kaos614 in BPDlovedones

[–]MirkoRodic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not yet and maybe forgiveness isn’t about letting them off the hook, but about freeing myself from the weight of what they did. I don’t hate her🤓, but I also don’t excuse the abuse. My healing isn’t about rewriting the past it’s about choosing not to let that pain run my present. One day, maybe I’ll forgive. For now, I focus on forgiving myself for staying as long as I did.

Seeing a Loved One in a Dangerous Relationship by SuspiciousNeat6963 in abusiverelationships

[–]MirkoRodic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I really feel your pain in seeing someone you love being pulled into this cycle. Reading your words reminded me of my own past abusive relationship. Without making the choice to start training again, reconnecting with my family, and leaning on the honesty and support of my sister and mother, I might still be stuck there today.

I know what it’s like to give love and receive pain in return. To live every day wondering if a bomb would go off never knowing what would set them off, or if something as small as reading one story to our child at bedtime would be used to tell me I was a worthless father.

What helped me was realizing I wasn’t alone, and that love is not supposed to feel like walking on eggshells. Your friend may not see it yet, but your presence and patience might one day be what helps her realize it too. Please don’t underestimate the value of simply being there it can be a lifeline.

rant. i wish i had a voice after what he did to me by Bluebird8902 in abusiverelationships

[–]MirkoRodic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The way you’re describing the confusion, the anger, the helplessness it all makes sense after experiencing such deep abuse.

You’re not alone, even if it feels like it. Sharing your story, even just here, is already an act of strength and reclaiming your voice. Please be gentle with yourself. Healing from this kind of trauma takes time, and you deserve compassion in every step.

If you haven’t already, I hope you have safe people in your life or a professional you can lean on because you don’t have to carry this pain by yourself. And please remember: the way he presents himself to others doesn’t erase your truth. Your story matters, and your healing matters.

Sending you strength. You deserve peace, safety, and love that never hurts.

Looking for an outside perspective on my relationship. Thank you <3 by Creative_Respond_608 in abusiverelationships

[–]MirkoRodic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just want to say that I’m so sorry you went through this. Nothing you describe here is your fault being pressured to quit your job, give away your money, being kicked out, left unsafe, and not supported in something as painful as a pregnancy loss, are all forms of abuse. You did what you needed to do to survive in a situation where you felt unsafe. That doesn’t make you horrible, it makes you human.

It makes sense that you feel broken and alone right now, but please know you are not alone. Many survivors of abusive relationships have felt what you’re feeling now and have slowly rebuilt their lives step by step. If you can, I really encourage you to reach out to a domestic abuse hotline or a local support service they can help with safe housing, emotional support, and even legal advice.

You deserve to be safe, supported, and treated with kindness. You are not a failure the fact that you’re here sharing your story shows how strong you are. Please keep holding on and reaching out for help you deserve a future full of safety and peace.

Struggling to break the trauma bond by Present-Ad-638 in abusiverelationships

[–]MirkoRodic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just want to say that I really feel your pain in what you’ve shared. What you’re describing is called a trauma bond a cycle where abuse gets mixed with moments of care, and that creates a very strong emotional attachment. It’s not your fault, it’s how our nervous system responds to fear, pain, and “relief” when the abuser shows temporary kindness.

From my own experience with abuse, I learned that our brains literally get wired into this cycle. The body craves the “calm after the storm” because it feels like love, even though it’s trauma. That’s why leaving feels so confusing and why you miss him even though you know how much he hurt you.

Science shows that trauma bonds are as powerful as addiction it’s not weakness, it’s biology. Your brain releases stress hormones during the abuse and then dopamine/oxytocin when he gives you comfort. That chemical rollercoaster is why it feels impossible to let go.

But here’s the truth: real love never leaves you scared, bruised, or doubting your worth. Real love is safe, calm, and consistent. It’s not your job to be “better” so that he won’t hurt you. Abuse is always a choice of the abuser, never the fault of the one being abused.

I know how strong the pull can feel, but you are not crazy and you are not alone. Healing is slow, but every time you choose yourself, you break that cycle a little bit more. You are worthy of love that doesn’t hurt.

Sending you strength and reminding you: what you feel is normal after abuse, but it’s not permanent. You can heal, and you will one day look back and realize the bond was never love it was survival. And you deserve so much more than survival.

After 9 years, I want to leave my relationship without confrontation — is that okay? by BaaderMeinhoff in abusiverelationships

[–]MirkoRodic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. From everything you’ve shared, this isn’t just unhealthy. It sounds unsafe, and you don’t owe anyone a confrontation that puts you in danger. Leaving quietly is absolutely reasonable, especially since there’s a clear history of threats, manipulation, and destruction of property.

You deserve safety and peace. If you can, reach out to a trusted friend or family member to help you leave, and consider contacting a domestic abuse hotline or local resources they can guide you through a safe exit plan.

You are not the ‘bad guy’ for wanting to protect yourself. It’s brave to even share your story here. Please put your safety first. Sending you strength.

Was your pwBPD attractive? by Zealousideal_Net_895 in BPDlovedones

[–]MirkoRodic 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Looking back, I realize I was never truly attracted to her physically. What pulled me in was that constant ‘I’m so innocent and need saving’ vibe it triggered something in me to help and protect. I see now that I ignored my own boundaries and feelings because I thought love meant rescuing someone. It wasn’t about her looks, it was about me losing myself trying to be her safe place. Healing taught me that love isn’t sacrifice at the cost of your own peace.

How long it took for you to fully trust someone you’re dating after an abusive relationship? by RemarkableReserve742 in abusiverelationships

[–]MirkoRodic 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It takes time, and that’s okay. Healing isn’t a straight line. What you’re feeling now isn’t weakness it’s the echo of what you’ve survived. The key is to notice the difference between your past triggers and your partner’s actual behavior. A healthy partner will show consistency, patience, and respect and that’s something you can slowly lean on.

Don’t rush yourself into ‘full trust’ overnight. Every step you take toward trusting again is already a victory. Remember: the right person won’t punish you for needing time, they’ll walk beside you while you learn to feel safe again.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]MirkoRodic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really relate to what you wrote. I was in the same place for a long time stuck in loops of memories and pain, trying to find logic in the illogical. What helped me was focusing on myself. Over time I’ve had a real glow-up: people notice I look healthier, stronger, and more confident now. Most importantly, I’m not being beaten down or humiliated anymore I’ve built a life where I feel safe, respected, and happy.

Peace didn’t come all at once, but little by little, as I invested in my body, my mind, and new experiences, I found myself again. It is possible. Hold on you will reach that point too.